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-   -   TTC for a year... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f29-trying-to-conceive/2615450-ttc-for-year.html)

TwinMamaS January 16th, 2013 01:52 PM

TTC for a year...
 
January has come again and that means that my husband and I have now been TTC for a year. In the past few months I've tried taking a proactive role in getting healthy. I've joined Weight Watchers and lost over 15 pounds. I've started seeing a therapist. I've also started taking vitamins and herbal supplements to boost my fertility. My therapist did a hair analysis a couple of months ago and found that my levels of potassium and copper were deficient, which may relate to my inability to get pregnant as they are tied to reproductive hormones.

I'm trying to be positive and I realize that having a baby will be a tremendous life change that I may not be 100% ready for, but I just can't help feeling that my body is letting me down. With every new pregnancy announcement I see, I am devastated. I actually had to run to the bathroom at work yesterday to have a mini-breakdown after a friend's sonogram picture popped up on Facebook. I just want what all these other women have. I want to give my husband a child and it breaks my heart that I can't.

So since it's been a year, I'm eligible to seek fertility counseling, but I'm scared. I'm afraid of what might be wrong with me or my husband and I'm also nervous about being put on drugs. I find myself wanting to seek more holistic means instead of pumping myself full of hormones, but in the end, I will do whatever necessary.

The disappointment that comes every month has now turned to utter devastation. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this. Anyone who is not going through the same thing just says "Oh, it'll happen when the time is right" "You shouldn't get upset". I even feel uncomfortable discussing my feelings with my husband. I don't think he can't understand what it's like. Just need some encouragement. Thanks!

hopeful_girl55 January 16th, 2013 02:05 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Most people don't understand at all about TTC and it just not happening. I am on my 8 or 9 cycle TTC so I am not as far as you but getting there. And I understand feeling alone. My SO would be so content just NTNP and not bothering to do all the other stuff. Just let it happen when its meant to. I hate his relaxed approach to this mostly because I can not be relaxed about not getting pregnant. All the fears that something is wrong with me or SO, and worried that it will just never happen.

We all get it here. This is the best place to be. I hope you find comfort here knowing you aren't alone. I hope this happens soon for you! Good luck. :)

Blew86 January 16th, 2013 02:08 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
I feel you pain, although I have not been trying for a year. I don't feel like my husband really understands what it's like each month when my period starts. It almost feels like he just doesn't care. I know that he does.
My husband already has a 4 year old daughter. So it makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. I have had two miscarriages. Like you everyone says it will happen when the time is right, and god has a plan, but these statements are coming from someone who has no idea the pain and frustration each month.
Keep you head up sister! Will add you to my prayer list! :dothug:

BenzBella January 16th, 2013 02:35 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Shannon- I'm sorry to hear you're down over this. But you are not alone!!! My husband and I have NTNP for 2 years with intermittent periods of TTC. I've miscarried 3 during all of that, and the BFPs definitely hurt. I have a DS who is 7, and I'm beginning to wonder if he wasn't just a miracle baby.

Vent, cry, scream, punch things.. anything that makes you feel better. Why shouldn't it be frustrating??? I have such a hard time, when someone complains about being pregnant, complains about not wanting it, complains about all of it. I seriously have to restrain myself.

You're entitled to your feelings, come and share them anytime you need/want :) We'll listen!!

:dothug:

babydreams0809 January 16th, 2013 03:16 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
I am right with you on this. My DH and I have been TTC for 18 months now. I found out just before Christmas that my younger sister is pregnant. She has only been married for a few months, and they were NTNP. Needless to say, Christmas with the family was really hard, as that was when she announced to the world that she and her husband were pregnant.

We are all here for you. We have all been where you are now. Just like BenzBella said, cry, scream, vent, throw things, be angry and hurt. It is okay.

chachartier January 16th, 2013 06:54 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
One of the scariest things in the world can be going to the doctor when you are fearing what news might come. I hope that you can look at it as a hurdle that you and your husband can jump together! Although it is scary to face finding out that some complication may or may not make the journey to your dream baby more difficult, there are a lot of fairly quick and simple solutions that can result in a pregnancy very soon! I hope that your visit to fertility counseling will open a new door for you and not bring you more pain. I wish you answers and happiness on this next big step in your journey to motherhood. We all may not share your exact pain but I hope we can all offer you love and support! I look forward to hearing more from you!

Gamer_Princess January 16th, 2013 07:09 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
DH and I have been trying to conceive for over 2 years so you are not alone on this journey. :wub: There are so many wonderful women here with so much advice it is so amazing :) Do not get discouraged ( I know easier said than done..)

Getting tested for certain things is almost like getting a proper physical and can tell you if there are any reasons why it has taken so long. There are many natural steps many doctors will help you with if at all possible. If you have regular cycles it could just be the case of not properly getting the O date pinpointed and charting your temperature can help with that. Also using OPKs is another great way to figure out things. If there is a male factor hendering conception there are so many natural vitamins and regimes that can help with sperm count and so forth.

The Natural Family Planning board has been very helpful and has loads of natural resources and " How to's" if you are interested.

Also post here anytime you have the smallest question or just need a place to vent.

I do not know how individuals are for you in real life but many times close friends/family just do not understand and every fertility struggle has its own unique story.

Be proud of your story because in the end it will be all worth it :)

MUCH luck to you!! :dust:

muffin January 16th, 2013 07:49 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
I'm sorry you're at this point :( Hitting a year is hard for anyone who has to get there! You're definitely not alone. Thing is, you see alot more pregnancy announcements than infertility announcements, so it seems like you're by yourself on this journey. It's a taboo topic for alot of people, so not everyone is open to talking about it. This is probably why this board (and the dozens/hundreds others like it) are so popular. It's a place where you can vent, hope, cry, and celebrate. Without worrying about what somebody else might say or think.

It's scary to start testing. You just never know what they might find. Or not find (because that's scary too). It doesn't mean that you have to start treatment right away, or at all. It can't hurt to find out, but it certainly might help! Have you considered seeing a Naturopathic Doctor? They can help with natural treatments without pumping you full of drugs. They can work together with your RE as well if you do decide to go that route.

Good luck! I hope that you don't end up needing the testing :smile:

MamaLeah713 January 16th, 2013 09:20 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
I completely understand. My hubby and I have also been ttc naturally for a year after a vas-reversal. Because we would like to have a couple more children before our only child gets too old, we have now decided to seek some MA. We've opted for a natural cycle IUI to start with. I went in for a check up and my Dr told me my estrogen was real low and my follicles not very developed which is contradictory to my previous results. So it turns out my only option may be IFV since I am more afraid of IUI with meds. I don't think I could do selective reduction if I was impregnated with more than twins... So I will go see him again Friday and depending on the lab work and ultrasound I may not be able to proceed with the IUI. It's all very frustrating and I can't help but feel anxious about it all. Lots of deep breaths. :smile:

Who knows... I have this week sought out holistic treatment but am not sure if it's a little late to help me with this IUI. I feel good about going to see the holistic healer. I've made my decisions and hopefully I will be blessed with a new bun soon this spring.

I wish you all the best and I am sorry that your husband is not as attentive and considerate as you'd like him to be. Guys especially can have a lot of fear around sharing their feelings particularly when they are so anxious and frustrated with something so special and important that they can't fix or control. He could be questioning himself as a man... Becoming a mother is something that men cannot really relate to because they are not women. It is different. We are different. Be patient and remember he loves you and wants YOU to be the mother of his child/ren. And don't be afraid to ask for what you need. ;)

I'll be sending you lots of happy baby energy!

Blessings and lots of baby dust!

TwinMamaS January 17th, 2013 04:25 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Thank you ladies! I talked with my husband last night and have decided that I should make an appointment with my ob-gyn to start the process for fertility counseling. Although it's scary, I would rather take care of the problem (if there is one) now rather than later.
I'll keep you updated!
Hugs and good wishes to you all!

TwinMamaS January 18th, 2013 08:25 AM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
I have scheduled an appointment with my ob-gyn for February 14. I'll let you know how it goes!

MamaLeah713 February 1st, 2013 05:01 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Awesome! Good for you.

Best wishes for you and KUP!

Onelove121 February 1st, 2013 06:15 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
We are also on our 12th cycle ttc#2 and it took us 18 cycles to conceive our son. We are dealing with severe male factor infertility. Praying you get answers and your much deserved BFP VERY soon! Pm if you want to talk!!! ((HUGS))

Gamer_Princess February 1st, 2013 10:45 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
YAY for an appointment!! I cannot wait to hear how it goes! :) We sat down with our doctor a year ago but wanted to continue naturally after my lap was clear and DH's semen analysis was amazing. We have done yet another year of no luck and are going to start MA in May after DH's schedule at work slows down. TO tell you the truth i was scared but after talking with my doctor last week I am sorta excited to have someone telling me exactly what to do and having ultrasounds to see my follicle growth.. Maybe just maybe we can get preggers on our own again :)

TwinMamaS April 11th, 2013 06:52 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
So I went and saw my doctor. Did all kinds of bloodwork, found out I have PCOS. Had an SIS and HSG and everything looked good, except we found out that my uterus is upside down, which I was told is no cause for concern. Took 50 mg of Clomid twice a day for three days, now in the two week wait. Expecting AF on the 20th and was told to call my doctor if AF didn't arrive by the 24th. I'll update again! Thank you for the encouragement and kind words.

AnnaBonana April 11th, 2013 07:04 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Fingers crossed and lots of baby dust to you! I hope it works!

cutenurse24 April 16th, 2013 03:47 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Hey Shannon!!! I am so glad that you were able to see the doctor and get checked out. Even more excited that you now have a diagnosis and something that can be treated. I hope that the doses of Clomid are all you need to get your bfp!!!! Fingers crossed for you!!!

TwinMamaS May 22nd, 2013 04:25 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
Great news everyone! Our first round of Clomid worked, and surprise we're expecting twins!! We're due December 26th, but they will probably arrive in early December. Thank you all for your support, I wish the best to all of you!

Melissadd May 22nd, 2013 05:07 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
:grats: that is awesome news.

Lucy S. May 22nd, 2013 11:24 PM

Re: TTC for a year...
 
You have received some great advice!
I think everyone is nervous if not flat out scared when they get to the point where you are at. But with a caring RE, it isn't so bad!
Also I would look into acupuncture!!


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