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-   -   How involved is your SO in the TTC process? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f29-trying-to-conceive/2686686-how-involved-your-so-ttc-process.html)

meld10 October 18th, 2013 07:25 AM

How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
I'm curious to know how involved your SO are in this whole process.

Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles?
Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time?
Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW?
Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol?

hopeful_girl55 October 18th, 2013 07:44 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Okay, I just typed an entire post and something happened and now its all gone!!!
:overreact:


Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles? No. I never told him when I was tracking or when I was Oing. Sometimes I would say something about how I was feeling that could be a symptom without saying it was and he would say "maybe your pregnant" but that's as far as that goes.
Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time? Yes and no. I never told him when I was Oing (it stresses him out) so sometimes he would fall asleep or not feel like. But most of the time we had pretty good timing. So I guess yeah without knowing he did.
Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW? No. He never really knew how much I stressed about it so he didn't know that he had to or how to calm my nerves in the TWW. That's why you ladies are a god send.
Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol? Yeah. I got him to cut back on smoking ( can't get him to quit completely, ughhh) he takes a daily men's vitamin, he tries to drink more water and juice. And already exercises a little because of his job, so that's never an issue.


Right now we are NTNP because he wants to take the "relaxing" way of doing it because he thought I was obsessing too much. After 15 months anyone would obsess that it hasn't happened yet. But he is never involved too much. I know he wants this as much as I do, but he doesn't want it to become what our entire life is about. He wants to still enjoy every day we have together the way we are now, before we get pregnant and have a baby. And he feels like if we obsess for years (at this point I am assuming it will take that long) before we have a baby then we will miss out on who we are as a couple now.


Did all that make sense? I was a little irritated I had to retype because my computer is stupid. lol

Mrs.MCH October 18th, 2013 08:10 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Lol ummm well my DH already took vitamins and whatnot bc he's into weight lifting and he really never drank much anyway. He does send texts (bc he leaves for work before I wake) to remind me to take temp and vitamins. He doesn't really read up on stuff but he patiently listens to me babble on about what I read about (bless him) lol and well we DTD a lot anyway...basically daily with the occasional night we just fall asleep instead..we never say no to each other so that part was the easy part...HOWEVER while he listens to me and reminds me...its not like he gives me his view on something...sometimes I'd like to talk it out but he isn't really a big talker...he listens...hugs..kisses and holds me but his comfort and whatnot are rather silent...I get the occasional "it will be ok baby" but that's it...but to be fair he's that way on most stuff...he's just not the overly talkative type...which honestly balances us bc I talk too much

kto1111 October 18th, 2013 08:11 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles?
Not really. He only got semi-interested when I had a few days of spotting last month before AF, since that was unusual for me.

Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time?
Most of the time. He likes a little, um, variety shall we say, in the bedroom so when I need a solid week or so of standard 'deposits' I have to make sure he knows I'll make it up to him later. That's how he knows I'm fertile without paying attention to all the details. :P

Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW?
No. I play it pretty cool at home. No dicussion of symptoms or when I can test, etc.

Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol?
No. We haven't been trying very long this time, so I don't think it's necessary just yet.

He keeps asking me if I'm pregnant like the day after we BD. I know he knows how these things work so I think it's pretty funny. He wasn't totally on board with having another baby at first but now that we're working on it, I see him get more and more excited.

susbequer1 October 18th, 2013 09:02 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles? Not really, he will listen if I talk about that stuff though
Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time? Ha, yes, he is always will to DTD, TTC or not LOL
Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW? Yeah he's pretty good about that. Although this time he is on a just try and see approach so he doesn't really want to stress about it. So I'm trying not to bring it up too much to him.
Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? If talking about it counts lol. No action though.
Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol? Ha! No. He wouldn't even do that when I was pregnant.

Tiffany8620 October 18th, 2013 09:20 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
DH knows nothing about where I am in my cycle, when I'm fertile, etc. I kind of prefer it that way. I guess I feel like I don't want him to be stressed out over it all. He's always up for DTD, so no problems there. :rolleyes:

meld10 October 18th, 2013 09:24 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Thanks for all your answers! It's fun to read, and funny to notice how most of your SO's have all this ''let's not stress about it attitude'', my BF is the same.

ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles?
He'll listen and is kind of interested in seeing what my temps will be in the cycle.
step up to the plate when it's DTD time?
I would be surprised if he ever say No, up to now he's been ready to go whenever I am loL!
Do they calm your nerves in the TWW?
I only had 1 TWW yet but he is patient, too patient :P, so our discussions were pointless: (Me: Ah man I should wait until 12dpo to test that is so long! Him: why don't you just wait until a week after your period is due and if it doesn't come then you will know so you can test) but I guess it's a good thing to prevent me from being too impatient. I like how some of you just play it cool at home ahah I will try that for my next TWW as I want to avoid all the reading into symptoms as much as possible.
Did they change any habits to help out TTC ?Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol?
I'm not sure if he read any websites but i know he won't read a book on fertility or even pregnancy lol As for the habits he quit smoking in August (he used to have like a pack a week) so that's really good. He keeps on saying he'll start going to the gym again but it hasn't happen yet...

One of the reason I was curious is that I got mad, well more like disappointed, with BF last night when I realized that he had 4 beers during the evening and was going to open another one. This wasn't at a party or anything, just a calm night of watching tv at home so I got upset - he said he had a bad day at work and it wasn't a usual thing. I dunno... just had this feeling that he is not doing any effort to be healthy.. but I may have been overeacting, this is only our 2nd cycle of TTC. I'm really more scared about not having a healthy baby than not conceiving right now as this is early in our TTC journey.

hopeful_girl55 October 18th, 2013 09:51 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Yeah most men have the relaxed attitude about trying. And I sure he meant no harm just wasn't thinking it could be a problem. And try to keep in mind a lot of whoopsie babies happen on a drunk night. So although I probably would have been mad too it shouldn't hinder your chances too much.

Mrs.MCH October 18th, 2013 10:02 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Awwww hun...its easy to be sensitive about the subject...I think long as he's not drinking every night like that its good...as we all know men can be more like teenagers...so eadily they can feel like ur trying to control them and suck the fun out. Such drama queens...my DH doesn't really drink but he did about a week ago...same as urs...had about 4 and I even bought em for him...I don't want him to feel like just bc were trying to have a baby he won't ever be able to relax or have fun again...and since they can be sooo dramatic I knew he may feel that way if I told him no to his lil indulgence smh...so I let it slide.

Dedra October 18th, 2013 11:58 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
I pretty much have learned to keep everything from DH. I don't want him stressing out about it. With two of us stressing it wouldn't be good!

Libby22 October 18th, 2013 03:19 PM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
hes enjoying the baby making lol

wifey2josh October 18th, 2013 06:00 PM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles? NO. HE THINK THAT IT'S CRAZY TO HAVE TO DO ALL OF THAT STUFF, HE JUST THINKS THAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN WHEN IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time? MOST OF THE TIME.
Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW? YES. HE'S A VERY POSITIVE PERSON, AND SO HE HELPS ME A LOT WHEN I FREAK OUT AND START GOING CRAZY!
Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol? - NO. BUT HE WILL BE IF THIS TIME AROUND DOESN'T HAPPEN.

wvufan67 October 18th, 2013 07:07 PM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles?[/B][/COLOR]
Yeah..he helps out with temping..he always hands me the thermometer in the mornings and buys the opks so it'd be hard to keep things from him :giggle:

Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time?
Oh yeah. I think that's his favorite part of ttc ;) lol!

Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW?
He tries to but i'm a worry wart..We've only had one tww though due to ovulation issues..

Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol?
He took vitamins even before ttc.. He doesn't drink...We both could use some more exercise and better eating habits...

CityLover October 20th, 2013 08:39 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
Do they ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles? Actually, yes. He looks at my chart daily!
Do they always step up to the plate when it's DTD time? He tries, when he's not working. He works a lot, and has a long shift (12 hours).. we do what we can and when we can.
Do they calm your nerves when your stressing in the TWW? It's only month 2, so I'm not really stressing or anything yet. I know it can take time.
Did they change any habits to help out TTC like taking vitamins, drink less, exercise, eat healthy? We both eat pretty healthy to begin with, don't need to change those habits. We only drink a few times a week, not gonna really change that. I don't think twice a week will do harm. We both take vitamins and exercise already.
Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol? - He's a physician, he doesn't really need to lol.. he knows a lot more than I do!!

Knewton October 20th, 2013 10:09 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
My Dh is awesome. He tries to work with me when I am letting him know I O. Sadly my DH works insane crazy hours and is out of town for weeks on end. Though he wil take his truck and that way he can come home during O. But we just had the strangest cycle ever but I think we maybe bd'ed on my O date. Otherwise he really hopes to start a family soon.

rusticbythesea01 October 20th, 2013 11:44 AM

Re: How involved is your SO in the TTC process?
 
ask about your temps/tracking/symptoms/cycles?
He always asked how I'm feeling and if I'm ovulating.
step up to the plate when it's DTD time?
Always, actually, I can't get him off me, even when I'm not O'ing
Do they calm your nerves in the TWW?
Yes, he tells me to relax and let's go do something, like go see a movie or something.
Did they change any habits to help out TTC ?Read any books/websites/pamphlets lol?
Not really, he smokes, but he has cut back a bit.


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