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Starr February 16th, 2010 06:56 PM

Starr's TTC Journey
 
My name is El, I am happily married to the love of my life, DH is named Sherent. We have been married since 1997- a week after my 18th birthday, so we have literally grown together. Now, we have a beautiful family and I work as a high school teacher and DH is a police officer; however, he is currently student teaching and will graduate this May as a PE teacher- so that we can have the same schedule as our children. We are currently TTC...here is the start of our journey to baby number 5...


2/16/2010

Well, here I sit at CD 6 of what I hope will be a 30 day cycle, and I am realizing that I forgot how very depressed I was last time when I did not conceive right out the gate. What I must continuously remind myself is that a) I am so very blessed to have a wonderful step-daughter and 3 amazingly wonderful sons and b) I have experienced 4 pregnancies, 3 that were a very Happy and Healthy 9 months. With my last TTC attempt, I had just come out of a loss with a double ectopic. It is no secret with my friends and family that I have always wanted twins- and, I had 2 little ones that I lost with that PG. After emergency surgery that was eventually followed by methotrexate to flush my tubes of any remaining PG- I had to wait 3 cycles before TTC again- very difficult time in my life, followed by 7 cycles of BFNs after BFNs- finally, I was blessed with my BFP and it was NOT an ectopic- and 9 months later I received the incredibly gift of my third son.

Which brings me back to today- CD 6 of my 2nd cycle trying to conceive baby number 5 for our family- wishing for a girl, loving the idea of twins, but more than anything hoping for a happy and healthy baby. Last cycle we were "swaying" for a girl- which basically means that everything we did reduced our overall fertility- very silly! I will not be doing that anymore! I can handle a BFN if I know we did everything we could- but, receiving one knowing that we did a lot of foolish things made it even worse, not to mention the almost $100.00 I spent on HPTs...I won't go there again!

This is cycle 2 and we plan to BD every day from the stop of AF to her next due arrival, I will lay in bed with my hips on a pillow afterwards, I will be healthy with my pre-natal vitamins, and continue to eat right (thankfully, neither DH or I smoke / drink alcohol / drink caffeine, so that is not an issue), and I will be charting. I charted with my last son after the ectopic, and now am kicking myself for not charting last month. So, begins my journey of TTC another wonderful addition to our ever-growing family.

I realize I am blessed, and I am so very thankful for every single one of my beautiful babies. I am also so very appreciative for JM- and having a place to share this experience with and more importantly having the support of other mamas / mamas in waiting who are in the same boat as me and understand exactly how I am feeling and what I am going through.

Here is hoping for a BFP this cylce, a short visit with the TTC board, sticky bean vibes, and so much baby dust that all I see is sparkles!

:)
El

Jakaira s Mom February 16th, 2010 08:45 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Hello welcome to this J.M. board:D Have you been on the regular TTC board before? I am praying for twins as well(girl and a boy)

LadyRogue February 16th, 2010 10:25 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Greetings and Welcome! It's exciting to see you here! I am also a high school teacher, so I loved seeing your journal. DH and I are just starting to TTC our first child together, but it would make #5 for us. I have had 4 pregnancies, 2 successful, and 2 were chemical (the last one, the doctor believes was ectopic). I was so happy to read that you went on to have a healthy baby after your ectopic. I'm sorry for your loss, but happy that you came through it. I hope you'll stick around. We love obsessing over symptoms and hpts! :)

hopeful3853 February 16th, 2010 11:21 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
hi el! welcome to the ttc journals! hoping you get a lovely :bfp: right away!

Starr February 17th, 2010 05:44 AM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
2/17/10

Thank you all for the warm welcome to the JM TTC journal threads! That is why I love JM, because everyone is there to be supportive and encouraging!

Quote:

Originally Posted by imoyaN (Post 19083769)
Hello welcome to this J.M. board:D Have you been on the regular TTC board before? I am praying for twins as well(girl and a boy)

I joined JM after the ectopic and when I conceived my last baby- I was in the Nov DDC of 2008. I was rather active at first (especially in those early weeks when I was waiting for U/S confirmation of a safe and healthy PG), but with being a teacher I was too busy to come on the board all the time as the PG progressed. I just recently came back on in the middle of my TTC cycle 1 (last month) and joined the TTC board and the Ectopic Survivor Social Group. Long story short, I'm glad to be back!


I woke up this morning "feeling PG" which is crazy as I am only on CD 7! It is crazy how your mind plays tricks on you when you are TTC. Even with getting my BFNs last cycle and AF arriving, I still have held on to this bizarre notion that maybe just maybe, I'll get a BFP this cycle and go in for my 5 week U/S (which is customary after and ectopic) and find that I am actually 9 weeks along! Believe me, I know how crazy that sounds.

I've been obsessing over my old TTC charts from the last go round from 2007-2008 and trying to identify clues of PG in comparing all of those when I was not to the final one where I was with baby boy. I wish I had charted last month, that was so naive and stupid of me to think that it would happen first round like it did with baby 1, 2, and my double ectopic! I sure hope this is my cycle- as a teacher, maternity leave would be great at the holidays to be home with the family. There is something very peaceful about having a new baby in the home at the holidays...very special.

DH and I still plan to BD every day- so far so good...I'm sure he will wear out though with working full-time and going to school full-time (student-teaching all day and working all night).

Dreams of Baby Dust are on my mind,
El

LadyRogue February 17th, 2010 07:24 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Hang in there! I understand what you mean. I've always been fertile Myrtle...even got pg on BC pills...twice! :lol: I'm excited to be charting...it's the first time I've ever done it, so I hope I don't goof anything up. It's great having other ladies here, going through the same things that I am. That way, we can all obsess together. ;) Hope you catch that eggy!!

Starr February 19th, 2010 06:03 AM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyRogue (Post 19097643)
Hang in there! I understand what you mean. I've always been fertile Myrtle...even got pg on BC pills...twice! :lol: I'm excited to be charting...it's the first time I've ever done it, so I hope I don't goof anything up. It's great having other ladies here, going through the same things that I am. That way, we can all obsess together. ;) Hope you catch that eggy!!

Once again, the support on JM is incredible. It really means so much to have women who understand what you are going through, without judgement, just in support! Thank You!

2/19/2010 ~ CD 9

I'm feeling really hopeful that this is our cycle...for whatever that is worth? I have not been feeling depressed the past few days and I have woke up feeling very excited, excited to chart, excited for the possibilities that come with a new cycle of TTC. A Thanksgiving baby would a real blessing...our house would be so crazy with 3 children with birthdays within weeks of each other- a newborn, 2 year old, & 15 year old! I guess we'll see in due time.

As of right now I do not have any O symptoms...still a few days off.

~El

Starr February 19th, 2010 07:48 AM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Every time that I have been PG...I listened to these songs. I'm so excited about the possibilities that await again, that i wanted to share:

The day (that you gave me a son) - (Babyface)
Just the Two of Us (Will Smith)
Thanks for my Child (The New Birth) - (Full Force & Cheryl Pepsii Riley)
II Pink Lines (Jaheim)
Havin' a Baby (R Kelly)
Capri (Colbie Caillat)
Our first born (Ginuwine)

Lauryn Hill: To Zion
Kenny Loggins: Danny's Song
Stevie Wonder: Isn't She Lovely
R Kelly: Half on a Baby
Van Morrison: Brown Eyed Girl
Case: Having My Baby
James Taylor: Sweet Baby James
The 5th Dimension: Aquarius / Let the Sunshine In (My middle son was born in Feb.)
Erykah Badu: Ye Yo

Please feel free to add to the list, I love all music (even though my iTunes is predominately R&B).

Starr February 20th, 2010 06:05 AM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
2/20/10

CD ~ 10

Well, 4 more days until I go into uber fertility mode! It is so weird, when you are TTC you notice every single little twinge in your body. I am trying to be super positive and optimistic. I really need to improve my overall health- I have not been eating well this entire vacation and have not even considered exercise! Well, the only healthy thing I have been doing is taking my pre-natal vitamins...and, I am out today- so, I better head to the pharmacy!

My best-friend has a baby due in 2 weeks (I'm hosting a shower for her tonight), it would be wonderful if a BFP came for me just after her baby boy arrives. Fingers crossed I guess!

Baby Dust to Me!
El

PS
I am so very happy for some of the ladies on TTC board who have been trying for so long who have just recently got their BFP- I hope it is a very sticky bean and send a ton of baby dust their way! Best Wishes to all!

Jakaira s Mom February 21st, 2010 08:49 AM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Here is some baby :dust:

Starr February 21st, 2010 05:32 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Thanks for the Baby Dust! :)

2/21/10

CD 11

Yesterday I hosted a beautiful baby welcoming for my best friend- she specifically asked to not have a shower- so I had to be very progressive / creative and think out of the box. I was so happy for her, she has experienced a great deal of loss with her 1st son being born with severe brain damage (doctor's fault) and 5 years of TTC afterwards with many ectopics and early m/c...she now has a healthy soon to be 4 year old and in 2 weeks will be the mama to baby boy number 3.

When, DH and I were driving home from Whole Foods today, I asked if he thought this was the month...he said YES! Wouldn't it be great if he were right? We then talked about what it would be like to have 3 children with birthdays within weeks of each other. ;)

I felt some left-sided pings today....not sure what that is about...getting closer though.

~El

LadyRogue February 21st, 2010 07:35 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Sending loads of Baby Dust your way! :dust: That's the best way to be...stay positive! Come on :bfp:!

Starr February 22nd, 2010 06:06 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
2/22/10

CD 12

Well, I have become a converter to fertilityfriend.com - I LOVE it and recommend it to all! I really like having the visuals and recording everything...very cool!

TMI to follow:

Today I had very egg-white CM! Whoo-hoo! Isn't that crazy? How often do women cheer for wet panties?! Ha! Today through Friday is my fertile window and with the fertile CM today...things are looking good!

Now, on the down side- DH has begun a new exercise routine of running 5 miles on the treadmill after dinner. After which he showers and then we BD...not good for his swimmers! :( But, maybe we are swaying for our girl without even making the effort! We'll see.

I've been kind of crampy all over this afternoon, it is funny since the ectopic I have been more crampy and have very painful ovulations. Well, I guess that is not funny at all- but, it is what it is.

So, Baby dust to all the ladies who are working on TTC. As always, so thankful to have such a great group of women to support me. :)

Good Night JM,
El

LadyRogue February 22nd, 2010 07:10 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
El, I know mornings are generally crazy for me (and I hate getting up any earlier than absolutely necessary), but an idea for you would be BD in the morning. I've heard it's a more opportune time, higher fertility for the lil swimmers, etc. Just a thought. :) Very good luck catching that eggy! Get to BDin'!! :D :yellowcheer: :dust:

Starr February 23rd, 2010 06:19 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyRogue (Post 19164996)
El, I know mornings are generally crazy for me (and I hate getting up any earlier than absolutely necessary), but an idea for you would be BD in the morning. I've heard it's a more opportune time, higher fertility for the lil swimmers, etc. Just a thought. :) Very good luck catching that eggy! Get to BDin'!! :D :yellowcheer: :dust:

Hmmm...getting up at 5:30am would just about kill me I think! ;) We do BD in the mornings on the weekend...but, of course that does nothing for me considering that my most fertile window is during the school week! With myself teaching an hour from home and DH working full-time at night and student-teaching right now- the time just isn't there! But, I think you are right on in that you have higher fertility in the morning...is that your method? ;)

2/23/10

CD 13 (Whoo-hoo!)

I'm starting to get so excited about the possibilities of conceiving this cycle! I also love that fertility friend shows that I am "fertile" right now! I am still so aggravated that I did not take my BBT and chart last month- so naive to think that it would be the 1st round like in the past. Well, in all fairness we fell off of our mission of BDing everyday right after we "knew" I had ovulated. This month we are making an everyday valiant attempt! Charge! DH is at night class right now and I am getting sleepy (it's only just after 8pm- I'm such a wimp)...but, one must do what one must do - literally!

So, here I sit at cycle day 13- CM looks good, temps are looking as they should, we have not missed a BDing opportunity, no more swaying, pre-natals are still being taken, everything is in order. Maybe, just maybe a little baby will be on her way very soon!

Good Night,
El

PS
Baby Dust to all...sticky bean vibes are on my mind for each and everyone of us.

hopeful3853 February 23rd, 2010 11:19 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
yay! glad everything is going according to plan this cycle! have fun bd'ing!!

Starr February 24th, 2010 05:26 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
2/24/10

CD 14

Last night I found myself waking up every couple of hours, of course that has left me wondering if the restless sleep has effected my BBT. With that said, I had an incredible dream that I am hoping is fortuitous...a very clear BFP!!!!!

I am feeling very hopeful this cycle- this may be it!

I am off to help my eldest son with his math homework.

Good Night,
El

Shawnamb February 24th, 2010 07:39 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Hi El, Im Shawna and my dh and I are TTC baby #3. I am an elementary school teacher and I loved your list of pregnancy songs! Good luck to you!

Shawna

LadyRogue February 24th, 2010 08:22 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Hahaha! El, I wake up a bit earlier (about 5:45) when we want to BD in the am during the week. Well, sometimes I wake up. :lol: I am 45 mins from work, so I know exactly what you mean. We BD morning or night, don't really have a set plan. ;) What can I say...can't get enough of my DH. :D Well, usually that's how it is. Lately, I haven't been feeling as frisky. Not sure what to make of it, though I'm sure it has to do with being so stinkin' tired. I go to bed early, but lay there and toss and turn. Or wake up all thoughout. Not sure what to make of it. I'm so hoping you get your BFP this cycle! That would be wonderful!!

Question for you, if you don't mind answering. What kind of maternity leave do you have (how long)? And can you take a longer leave of absence? I just found out my school allows up to a year (or maybe it's 2 years) for a leave of absence when you've had a baby. Just curious as to what other school districts offer. With DS#2, I had a c-section, but went back to work after 4 weeks, because I wanted to finish out the last 2 weeks of the school year.

Baby and sticky bean dust!!! :dust:

Starr February 25th, 2010 05:15 PM

Re: Starr's TTC Journey
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnamb (Post 19198540)
Hi El, Im Shawna and my dh and I are TTC baby #3. I am an elementary school teacher and I loved your list of pregnancy songs! Good luck to you!

Shawna

Hi Shawna,
I'm glad you enjoyed the song list...once I am in baby mode I become obsessed! ;) My sister is a elementary school teacher- you all are very different than us high school teachers...I can't be that cutesy and I can not wipe little people's noses unless they are my babies. :) Getting ready TTC baby number 3 is very exciting- I hope you get your BFP very soon! KMP! :)
~El


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