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-   -   BF is officially a jerk! (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/140661-bf-officially-jerk.html)

jade_jade January 26th, 2006 07:39 AM

Hey guys!
As you know from my previous posting (need to vent), I had to go to the ER b/c of the bleeding and clotting....well, I waited 5 1/2 hours to see a doctor for 5 minutes....the ultrasound tech wasn't even there so there wasn't much she could tell me besides come back!!! well, my bf didn't want to take me to the er b/c he had to work the next morning...so i took a cab there by myself and back. now days later he had the nerve to ask me..."IS IT STILL THERE?".....He was lucky that we were on the phone, otherwise I would have cut off his *&^%!!!. Do you think there is any hope that he will come around in terms of the baby? WEre any of you in a similar situation but now your DH or BF is amazing or looking forward to the baby? Please shed some light on my situation. Thank you.

P.S - the baby is ok!! I didn't have a miscarriage!

P.S.S - my BF already has an unplanned 8 month old son with his ex gf....He is an amazing father to that little boy. He is his world....

Jade

~Alexandria~ January 26th, 2006 09:21 AM

If my hubby said that to me I would be getting a divorce.

proudmom3 January 26th, 2006 09:24 AM

Quote:

If my hubby said that to me I would be getting a divorce.[/b]

i second that! so uncalled for and very hurting!! i am so sorry you are dealing with such an @ss

Wisey January 26th, 2006 09:37 AM

I am so sorry you have to deal with such a person. I really don't have any advice to give, but follow your heart.

brigitte January 26th, 2006 11:33 AM

WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!! THE BABY'S OK!!!! I'm soooo happy for you! I was worried about you!

Well, please dont' take this the wrong way, but your b/f's a f*cking jerk! Or at least he's acting like one! Are you guys living together? If so, I'd pack some stuff and stay with a loved one. Time to put your foot down and let him either smarten up, or hit the road, buddy!
Like I said in my other reply, you can't be around someone who isn't even willing to take you to the hospital if you have a concern! For crying out loud! He should be rushing you to the hospital over a paper-cut if you thought it was serious enough to go! Your story makes me so sad. But you know what? I know there's a happy ending to this story...A beautiful little baby!!! I just don't think it healthy for you or the little one to be around him. In fact, it's just not safe! (I know it sounds like I'm exagerrating, but you're talking to the girl who got a crib second hand, and I won't use until it's been stripped, sanded and refinished because the last people who had it smoked!! hehehe) You need to surround yourself with encouraging people who are willing to drop anything to ensure yours and your baby's health. That's most definately not too much to ask for. And if you're not living together, stop taking his calls, stop going to visit him, and most certainly DO NOT give him updates on the little one. He doesn't deserve you or the baby right now. This isn't to say he'll NEVER deserve you two, but until he smartens up and gets his priorities straight, he doesn't! If he doesn't want to lose you, he'll have to come around sooner or later! And sweety, I won't lie: It may take until the baby's born for him to come around. It sucks the big one, but it's a possibility. He may have to look into those beautiful little eyes to fall madly in love with this kiddo. And you know what, he may not ever come around. You know what they say, "expect the worst, but hope for the best!!"

But don't wait around for him. Don't continue this relationship until he does give you that. Let him know you're gone until he can learn to accept this baby, be supportive of it, and show a little respect for you and the little one. No one did anything wrong here, so why is he punishing the two of you? Let him figure out what he really wants. If he's that much of a coward that he won't even fight for you, then drop him! He's not worth your time or efforts.

I wish you all the best sweetie! He may just come around, but you have to stand up for you and most importantly the baby!! Good luck! And don't take any more crap from him!

Mommy2Ethan January 26th, 2006 12:59 PM

my b/f acted the same way..he did not want this baby...but hes changing every week, and now hes kind of looking forward to it.. he worries about me and the baby now, which he didnt do at first..once the initial shock was over, he started getting better and better..i hope this is what your b/f is doing hun. But if it doesnt get better i would have a serious talk w/ him. you need what is best for you and your baby

missy123 January 26th, 2006 05:18 PM

How does he interact with his current child? Does he spend time with him or act like he doesnt exist? That will be a huge clue as to how he will be with you.

Good Luck

nat81 January 26th, 2006 06:59 PM

I'm glad your baby is okay! I remember when I first found out I was pregnant my fiance (bf at the time) suggested I get an abortion... I told him I would think about it but that same night we came to each other saying we wanted to have the baby and couldn't go threw with an abortion. The day she was born he said he couldn't even beleive we thought about it...

Good luck hun... I hope he comes around...

rachel_claire January 27th, 2006 10:18 AM

Hey hun,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation...hang in there, even if he doesn't come around, there's nothing keeping you from giving your baby enough love from you and the father. Hopefully he'll step up to the plate and be a man, but if not, you can do it by yourself, you'll be fine! :cheer:

Ella! January 27th, 2006 04:14 PM

First off I'm glad your baby is doing okay. He/she is lucky to have a mother who cares very much and puts him/her first. As for your bf... you can find better. Even being alone is better then having someone who doesnt care around. If my husband did that I would seriously reconsider our marriage. Good luck.
-Ella

rachel_claire January 27th, 2006 04:49 PM

Hi Jade!!
I was looking at blinkies, and I found this one...It reminded me of you and your story...I hope it'll show up on here...


jade_jade January 29th, 2006 11:46 AM

Thanks for all your replies....Rachel Claire...thanks for the blinkie!!!

Jade

lilmamaw2 January 29th, 2006 09:10 PM

hay wad up? i met my husband jimmy 5yr ago in may and in that time we've had the best times and the worst (nobody hate me) but i've had one abortion that was his it wasnt something i really wanted to do but at the time i wanted to be with him my family was all in another state i was living with him and he told me that he couldn't handel a baby that it was him or the baby and i had no way of doing it on my own i didnt even have a job he was the only one working well now here we are 3 1/2 -4 yrs later and we have a handsom lil boy who is 19m on the first and believe me jimmy was taking that pregnancy not so well at first until he went to the ultrasound with me @ 6w&6days and seen that there was actually something there it was like if i wasnt fat then it must not be a baby yet and when he seen the heart beat his whole out look on it changed he went to every single Dr.appointment with me he bout lost it every time i made a funny face or noise he would say "are you ok? whats my baby doing? just let me feel the baby, i just wanna make sure he's ok" it drove me crazy how involved he was but every one told me just let him be that he's just trying to get colse to the baby the only way he knows how well any ways now here i am 31wks pregnant with our lil' girl and he is just as involved as he was with Dillon (our son) & yes its driving me nuts but its alot better than when he wasn't involved at all and Jimmy and Dillon are inseperable and couldn't look more alike every thing daddy dose Dillon has to try and im just hopping that Alexa(the baby girl) looks like me cuz it's just not fair that i do all the work just for them to come out looking like their daddy so all in all it just might turn out ok and your man just might start acting right when he sees the baby

TASHA_031 January 30th, 2006 01:31 PM

GIRL IT IS GOOD TO KNOW THAT YOUR BABY IS FINE AND OKAY. I CAN RELATE I GOT THE SAME ISSUES WITH MY B/D. ALL I CAN SAY IS DON'T WORRY TO MUCH ABOUT IT CAUSE IN THE BEGINING I WAS LETTING HIM STRESS ME OUT AND THAT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU NOR THE BABY. SO NOW I TAKE ADVICE FROM MY GUY FRIEND AND HE TOLD ME "EVENTUALLY HE WILL COME AROUND AND THAT MEN ARE DIFFERENT THEY ARE NOT LIKE US THEY HANDLE THINGS DIFFERENTLY GIVE HIM TIME." CAUSE MY B/D HAS TWO KIDS FROM HIS B/M AND HE WAS BEING A JERK HE WAS STRESS FELT HE WAS NOT READY FOR ANOTHER CHILD ETC...... BUT TAKE IT EASY AND LET US KNOW IF HE STARTED CHANGING MY B/D IS HE IS STILL A JERK BUT A LIL BIT MORE CONSIDERATE NOW AND WORRYING ABOUT ME AND THE BABY.


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