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-   -   Husband lost his temper (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/142130-husband-lost-his-temper.html)

Ella! January 28th, 2006 06:12 PM

(I posted this is in July due date club as well so if you you've read it then ignore this)

My husband and I were laying in bed today when I took his controller to xbox to show him something. Well I guess it's been a long day for both of us because he grabbed me and said if I ever interrupted him again he would make me pay for it. He's never like this! I dont know if I'm overreacting because it hurt, any advice?? Thanks.

nat81 January 28th, 2006 06:20 PM

Gee... that was harsh! I don't think you're overreacting at all. Maybe you should talk to him about it. Let him know he hurt your feelings and find out what is up with him...

brigitte January 28th, 2006 11:58 PM

Well I may be the queen of overracting, but I say it's our right as pregnant women to take avantage of our hormones, and just let it all out. I don't think you're overracting at all. I'd be pretty upset if my man threatened me like that.
To be honest, after hearing him say he'dmake you "pay for it" I would have replied "oh yeah, what are you going to do? Hit me? Just try it buddy! No? Well don't ever ####ing threaten me again!" Then I'd push him over, and walk away and sit at the kitchen table and bawl my eyes out to make him feel bad and make him come to ME and appologize! But that's just me...I'm sure you handled it better than that, which is a good sign that you're not overracting.

The other night, my man and I were watching TV and I was soooo comfy that I was about to fall asleep, and then he starts complaining about how he's tired and needs to go to bed. Well I just about flipped on him! I was like "You're such a big whiny baby! Fine go to sleep then!" I got up and stormed to the bedroom. He follows me in all pissed and saying "what the h### is your problem!" And I was like, "you know, just once I'd like to fall asleep on the couch with you! We've been together almost a year, and never once have we done that! You always have to plan everything! Just once I'd like that, but obviously you're just not the type of person who can do that!" Then he says (in this way that just makes me want to slap him) "you know what, give me SPACE! You're being annoying!" So I got up, grabbed my pillow and went to go to the couch. Then, he follows me, and says, "what are you doing?!!!" And I said "Giving you space!" Then he got all pissy saying that's not what he meant..., and I just told him to stop taking everything so personally, I'm pregnant in case he didn't realize, and I just had a mood swing, and he just needed to chill! But he stormed back off to bed all pissed, and I spent the night on the couch (which isn't a bad thing, the couch feels better on my back and tummy then the bed, so it worked out to my advantage!!). All this to say that men can most definately be pissy! But you know what, don't stop yourself from reacting to it. You're pregnant! So if something pisses you off, then it pisses you off! No sense in fighting that! You just need to know how to express it that's all. And I'm not the best person to talk to when it comes to that, as you can see....lol

Have a little chat with him and just let him know how you felt about it. It's best to do it now that you've both cooled off anyway. Good luck.. He was probably just having a crappy day.

jezzica04 January 29th, 2006 02:28 PM

No you're not overreacting...I think that even if I wasnt pregnant I would still be hurt. I dont think he shouldve reacted like that towards u even if he had a long day. Plus being pregnant makes everything seem 10x worse....things that use to just hurt u and u could blow off now make u cry and feel upset all night. I think u should just sit down and talk to him and remind him that ur pregnant and things like that hurt ur feelings. Men just dont really understand how hormonal being pregnant really makes u and how the smallest things in there eyes hurt u in the biggest way. Good Luck!!!


PS

Hey havent talked to u in yahoo in a while...hope ur gag reflexes are doing better. Maybe we will talk soon and catch up on how things are going!!!

Kierasmom January 29th, 2006 10:03 PM

Major red flags going up. Definitely talk to him and ask him what he was thinking!

lilmamaw2 January 29th, 2006 10:45 PM

that's messed up it'd be a cold day in h### when my hubby would ever do something like that he knows better he knows i'd get up and do something i grew up with 4 brothers and i wouldn't deal with stuff like that jimmy calls me his "lil firecracker" cuz i'll let him know if im mad or upset i don't hold nothing back he's told me a cupple of times that he thinks thats why we lasted so long cuz i don't back down and i keep him paying attetion he said all the other girls he's been with could never handle him they'd let him get away with any thing (dont get me wrong he's never hit or layed a hand on anyone) but he says that after awhile he'd just get bord with um' and stop talking to um' cuz they couldnt keep him on his toes like he likes

pcgirl January 30th, 2006 08:52 AM

Hmmm, I wonder how he was planning to make you pay for it??? The thing that concerns me the most is that he grabbed you to the point where it hurt you physically.

Yep, I'd talk to him because what he said was unnecessary and hurtful but at the same time...have you ever said something that just came out of your mouth when it shouldn't have or have done something that you regret later on? Was this the first time he did that?

Pregnant women can be very emotional and it's easy to let the hormones fly. But don't forget that the man in your life is also going through an emotional time as well so it might be a little "easier" to fly off the handle. Grant it, he's not going through the same kinds of changes we are, but he has very legitimate reasons for his emotions too (like worrying about how he's going to pay for the new child, worrying about you and the baby and whether or not the both of you are going to make it through labor and delivery, how he's going to get you to the hospital without having the baby in the car....just to name a few).

Just talk to him but don't yell or accuse. You're right...he might have just had a bad day...or he might not have meant it to sound as bad as it did. Tell him that in no circumstances whatsoever that he is allowed to physically hurt you (people go to jail for that) or lay his hands on you in an angry manner (and the same goes for women, too).

On the otherhand, if he's always hurtful and speaks to you like that all the time, I would reconsider your relationship. You are worth much more than that.

Good luck to you and your DH and I hope everything works out.

Let us know how things went when you talk to him.

Telucero January 30th, 2006 06:49 PM

No, you are sooo not overreacting. I hope you told your husband how much he hurt your feelings when he did that. He needs to know what he sounds like. That is completely unacceptable to say to your wife. If it had been me, I garuntee you I would not have been as 'calm' as you were. You better let him know what he sounded like. He needs to find another to communicate his point, with respect and consideration. Watch out for more behavior like that, thats so not healthy, you dont want this to be a habit.


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