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-   -   should i call him (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/148542-should-i-call-him.html)

needsomesleep February 8th, 2006 10:40 AM

the babys father hasnt been interested in him since i found out i was pregnant. i hae been calling him trying to get him involved. i am finally through i cant take it anymore. i have decided that i dont want to call him untili go into labor. my real question is that after the baby is born i am thinking about moving so my grandma can help me out while i am at work. (she already offered and she raised me when i was little so i know she can handle it) i just dont know if i should call and let him know. if you want to know more there is another post on the subject and it goes into detail (just need to vent) its long though thanks for any advice you can give.

jade_jade February 8th, 2006 10:51 AM

HI
I think it is a good idea to let him know that you are going to move...that way it leaves the ball in his court to decide if he is going to "man up". You don't want to be faced with tellingl your child that it was partially your fault that his dad isn't in the picture. At least give him that chance. Just one call to let him know...that's it.

Good Luck!

Jade

beckii February 8th, 2006 11:04 AM

Quote:

HI
I think it is a good idea to let him know that you are going to move...that way it leaves the ball in his court to decide if he is going to "man up". You don't want to be faced with tellingl your child that it was partially your fault that his dad isn't in the picture. At least give him that chance. Just one call to let him know...that's it.

Good Luck!

Jade[/b]
:ditto:

brigitte February 8th, 2006 12:24 PM

Hey girl....Wow, what a rough time you've had with him. I'm so sorry your relationship fell apart like that. But, CONGRATS on the baby! At least some good came out of it, right? :P

Hmmmm...advice....advice....Ah yes, just had to think for a minute to figure out what I would do in your shoes.
Well, I wouldn't call him, I wouldn't text him. You know why? Because chances are, (going by what your've said in your other post), he'll probably just erase the text, or not answer his phone. (what a coward!). But, he does have the right to know where you're going and just in case things get really ugly (which I pray it never will come down to that!), you need to do things the smart way. Cover your butt! Let him know, but send your new address in letter, and most importantly via registered mail. This way, you know it's going to get to him, and he'll never ever be able to say you never told him. Keep record of sending it. Also, if you have his email address, send the same letter via email too because you can save emails for a really long time. I'd also add in the letter how you'll tell him you're in labor. I mean, he may see you calling, and just won't pick up, so what's the point in that right? I'd let him know that you'll send him a text letting him know it's time and the hospital (in case he actually wants to come down). Also include a call back number for him, in case he wants to call back. The last thing you should be doing while you're in labor is chase after him and have to call him a million times before he picks up the bloody phone! A stress-free F.Y.I. text message should do the trick.
This is how I would do things just in case things end up really messy over child support or custody issues and end up in court. At this point sweety, any contact you have with him, any money you receive from him for child support and every visit he makes to see his son needs to be documented. Because you never know when you'll need to prove your side of things. I know it's yucky to think about all that, but you have to be very careful from now on when it comes to him. I'd start up a "father folder" where you keep all your paper trail (print emails, proof of mailing, child support receipts, you name it!). This may just save your butt later in life if he ever wants to really become a jerk.
I wish you the best of luck! let us know what happens!

Ella! February 8th, 2006 02:46 PM

:ditto: what she said

Melz February 8th, 2006 08:10 PM

I agree.. You can never be too careful.. I agree 100% with Brigitte

JuneBug2006 February 8th, 2006 08:47 PM

Yup, I agree....

Let him know that you are thinking about moving and then leave it at that... At least you will have let him know and then it can't be held against you...

Good luck!


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