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-   -   New and kinda freaking out.... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2322605-new-and-kinda-freaking-out.html)

everafter May 8th, 2011 09:07 PM

New and kinda freaking out....
 
Hi,

I'm about 5-6 weeks pregnant and it was TOTALLY unplanned =( .....

I've written down my story and attached it to this post.....scroll down if you like........

My question to all of you is....how did you break it to your SO and how did they react at first, and how do they feel about it now ????

I'm terrified of telling my ex-husband who I'm reconciling with at the moment that we're expecting an "accident" (pill & antibiotics)......

I'm terrified he won't want to reconcile anymore =( .....

But to understand the whole situation you might have to read my story below :( ......






I'm new here and wanted to introduce myself.

My name is Diana, I'm divorced (Jan '11) and already have 2 boys (4 & 10).

The baby is due January 5th, but since I'll have a scheduled c-section it will probably be a December baby.

The baby is my ex-husband's baby and was not planned AT ALL.

If you're curious.....

In September 2010 my (ex)husband asked for a divorce, after almost 11 years of marriage.

I believe that midlife crisis and depression made him re-evaluate our marriage and an old high school flame on FB helped him with his decision by sweet talking to him and encouraging him that I will never change.

He tried to push me to divorce as quickly as possible and I gave in, because I didn't want to be with someone who didn't love me anymore.

Due to my financial situation I was still going to live in his house until I could afford to move out.

During that time our beloved dog died and it brought us closer.

I was as nice to him as I could and he seemed to like the changed me.

So in January when the final divorce papers came to the house he told me that he loves me and that he wants to try again.

I was happy, since I still love him with all my heart.

But.....I didn't make it easy on him in the beginning, because I grew resentful toward him because of his online affair with the high school skank......

I made accusations and snide remarks and one day he moved into the spare bedroom.

I thought I'd ruined it all, but I wasn't done fighting for him yet.

I tried my hardest to be nice and courteous and after 4 weeks of spare bedroom and no sex, on April 14th he moved back into the bedroom with me.

Sure enough we had sex from then on.

When my period didn't show I finally took a test on May 5th....terrified, because I kinda new....and sure enough it was positive.....

And from then on, everything made sense......my pants got a little tighter all of a sudden, I was hungry and tired all the time and my boob PMS just wouldn't go away......

I couldn't believe how that could've happen though, after all I was on the pill.

On March 28th I had the first day of my last period and that's also when I started an antibiotic because of a dental procedure for 10 days.....that's what must have interfered with the pill....

And in addition to it, I also have PCOS, so it's even harder for me to get pregnant....

So I guess this was all meant to be.....

But....I am absolutely terrified of telling my ex-husband....

Everything is working out SO WELL between us right now.....I'm worried it will ruin everything.....

So "It's the best of times, it's the worst of times"........

Edit/Delete Message

Heathy May 9th, 2011 08:59 AM

Re: New and kinda freaking out....
 
The only similarity I have with your situation is that I may be dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. But it's too soon to tell. I told my boyfriend everything from the very first symptom that made me wonder if my birth control could have failed. He told me he would like to know whats going on and not be kept in the dark. But he's not happy about a possible pregnancy at all. Before I was too nervous to tell him anything, but he gently pushed to get out what's on my mind. He told me that no matter what he will be supportive...but a baby would ruin his life and could possibly ruin our relationship.

Your situation is different in that you and your ex have already had kids and have been through that journey. Maybe it could even make you grow closer? Maybe not. Every guy is different so there's no telling how he'll react. But it's probably best to tell him as soon as possible. From my experience, guys don't like being kept in the dark.

LShumate1010 May 9th, 2011 07:40 PM

Re: New and kinda freaking out....
 
I believe everything happens for a reason and I think God has given you this baby to grow closer to your ex husband. I hope everything goes well. A baby is a blessing and I would give anything to have a BFP. Be joyous in this time. There isn't anything you cant get through. :)

Mischief Managed May 10th, 2011 08:25 AM

Re: New and kinda freaking out....
 
I don't think that would ruin anything at all! It may be shocking at first, but if he is in a midlife crisis, maybe this will make things more exciting?
I think it is great you two are sleeping together again and staying in the same house. When I first started reading I had thought that you two divorced before the pregnancy and were not even on talking terms. So you two are at a great start!
He will of course me shocked at first... All SO's are! (I mean, think about it, they just brought another life into the world!) He may not even want to talk to you after you tell him. But I think this is a good thing that will rekindle your relationship. Raising a baby takes a lot of team work - although I do respect those who are single moms. If he gets angry at you, make sure he remembers that it takes TWO to tango and explain about the anti-biotics. Neither of you could help it and it WAS meant to be.
Even if things don't turn out as well as you would like, he still needs to know he has a baby on the way. I suggest you two sit down and discuss it before it gets too out of hand. (The worst mistake I made was waiting a little too long to tell DH)

kaytplusbaby June 15th, 2011 08:43 AM

Re: New and kinda freaking out....
 
I told my SO right away, even told him that I wasn't 100% sure it was his. THAT was difficult. I brought the pregnancy test with me so he could look at it. I've heard too many horror stories of guys I know who think girls were "pulling one over on them" and faking it or lying. I ALWAYS used to ask them, "Did you see the test?" And they hadn't. Although my SO said, "I don't need to see that." I said, "I want you to so you know I am being honest. I'm not trying to trap or trick you." If it were me in his place, I would want to know as soon as possible.

Thismamaisonherway August 29th, 2011 08:21 AM

Re: New and kinda freaking out....
 
I hope you have told your ex husband and the situation has worked out in your favor. Guys come around after the baby is born and see how the oops turned into a blessing.


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