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-   -   21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2618541-21-college-student-unplanned-pregnancy.html)

dexiwexi January 25th, 2013 03:48 PM

21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
I JUST FOUND OUT TUESDAY THAT I AM ABOUT 5 WEEKS PREGNANT... I AM SERIOUSLY SCARED AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO...

MY HEART IS TELLING ME NOT TO GET AN ABORTION... BUT MY UNBORN CHILD'S FATHER WANTS ME TO GET AN ABORTION WHICH MAKES MY MIND WONDER AND MAKES ME SCARED AND CONTEMPLATE GETTING ONE, BECAUSE I DON'T EVEN WANT MY CHILD TO BE RESENTED BUT ITS FATHER...

I AM SCARED THAT I'LL BE A FAILURE OR A BAD MOM BECAUSE I NEVER EXPECTED THIS... I REALLY JUST DON'T KNOW WHATS the RIGHT thing TO DO. :( :sneak:

mamatomany January 25th, 2013 04:26 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
First off, never let someone emotionally pressure you to abort your baby. You are the one who will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life, who knows if he's going to even be around by the end of the school year. Whether or not he's ready to actively father this baby shouldn't influence your decision about your baby. If he doesn't step up to the plate and take responsibility that's his problem.

You already know where your heart is, and you can find the strength to do this on your own. Just because you don't have the father's support doesn't mean your alone, and I'm sure you can create a support network of friends and family to help you raise your little one.

You are this baby's mother and no one should try to make out that their part in this decision is bigger than that-- especially not someone who's focused on his own convenience. Best wishes sister, and just remember that there is a great, supportive group of women here on justmommies, many of whom are in your same shoes.

ElliotsMommy13 January 25th, 2013 07:57 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
Definitely dont go against your heart. All friends of mine who even had any little doubt about abortion and did it anyway all live in guilt and always wonder what if.. Its not going to be easy but Im pregnant now with no father in the picture and definitely not stable in life but the longer the pregnancy goes, the more I get attached. I just hit 13 weeks today. If your heart tells you to keep it.. then don't let anyone pressure you otherwise. Plus, if you join the due date club here, you will have tons of other pregnant women's support there for you. I wish you the best!

Gretch024 January 25th, 2013 08:37 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
hang in there! I got pregnant when i was in college too..i was 20, then 21 when i had my son. I cried the whole day i found out & I honestly thought my life was ruined. I didn't consider abortion at all..i think life is a gift..but at that moment i had so many doubts. I just want you to encourage you to really think about your decision. It might seem like the hardest thing now, but for me, it has been absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's hard work, but i really feel like you will never be given anything you can't handle. Good luck, and I'd love to chat if you need someone to talk to!

Indecisive13 January 25th, 2013 09:05 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
I'm 21 and in college just like you. I found out I was pregnant last month. The father wanted me to abort the baby when I told him. I had mixed feelings initially, but I have decided to keep my baby. I'll be 14 weeks next week.
I just want to advise you to make the decision on your own. You don't want to have regrets later on for doing something to please anyone other than yourself, and then youre left with the regret. At the end of the day, you have to live with whatever decision you make. Good luck!

Leogirl January 26th, 2013 07:58 AM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
First off, It dosen't matter what the father wants. This is YOUR decision and it's yours alone. You need to take him out of the equation and figure out what YOU really want. You may want to seek the help of a pregnancy counselor (an uninvolved person that can lay out all of your options and answer any questions you may have). They can usually be found at your local Planned Parenthood, Health Department, or local women's clinic. Your school may even have someone available.

If you do decide to parent your child there are lots of programs out there to help you succeed. Good luck!

dexiwexi January 26th, 2013 09:58 AM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
I appreciate your words... Because I am seriously stressed and he makes me feel like i'm the dumbest person in the world...

mamatomany January 26th, 2013 12:52 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dexiwexi (Post 27017783)
I appreciate your words... Because I am seriously stressed and he makes me feel like i'm the dumbest person in the world...

:( I'm so sorry you're going through this. If that's the way he's treating you in this situation I say kick him to the curb and don't look back. Your life is worth more than that. Wanting to mother your baby means you are a strong person, and trying to bully you into feeling dumb is cruel, disrespectful, and manipulative. Big hugs!!

ElliotsMommy13 January 26th, 2013 03:09 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
you don't need him! You can definitely do better!

MerinSun January 27th, 2013 08:57 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
If he thought you were dumb because you were going to have a baby how does he feel about his mother? She must be the Queen of Dumb in that case.

You're going to meet up with a lot of challenges but they're not impossible. Many things that you think now will be impossible will seem small and hardly worth noticing. You'd be amazed by how so many things just fall into place.

TeeCee January 27th, 2013 11:43 PM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
Sorry, your feeling so upset.
Take a breath and look around.
Women these days are capable of so much and the thought of single parenting is the "norm"
many women decide to have their child due to the idea that "theres life groeing inside of you"

Im a college student, currently taking my last 3 classes for my degree, a full time worker and I am 24 weeks pregnant. Due in May.
Its an intense feeling to realize you are carrying a child. I can relate. I didnt accept my pregnancy till I was 3 months along. By then the babys father had gone and I was alone. Its a scary feeling at first but with a support network all these are possible. Its okay to be scared. Cry if it helps, but remember, you dont want to give badvibes to your baby.
As for the guy, let him decide his choice. He doesnt want to grow up or own up. His loss. You just be a wonderful mommy.

Good luck :)

onemoremakesfour January 28th, 2013 10:49 AM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant and scared of being a bad mom. I remember crying a lot and feeling I couldn't do it. That was 15 years ago and I can't imagine my life without my son. If you want to do this you can! Do not let him pressure you into something if it's not what you want.

debs86 March 21st, 2013 10:01 AM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
Be strong! Being a mom is a lot of work and can be hard but the love is so worth it. You are stronger than you can possibly imagine. Woman were made that way! The love in your heart for your baby is something that is natural and circumstances don't change that. That baby is there for a reason...to love..
Best for you and that little one...

debs86 March 21st, 2013 10:01 AM

Re: 21 College Student Unplanned Pregnancy
 
Be strong! Being a mom is a lot of work and can be hard but the love is so worth it. You are stronger than you can possibly imagine. Woman were made that way! The love in your heart for your baby is something that is natural and circumstances don't change that. That baby is there for a reason...to love..
Best for you and that little one...


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