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-   -   Lots running through my head (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2631166-lots-running-through-my-head.html)

LucieBear March 3rd, 2013 04:33 AM

Lots running through my head
 
Really unsure what to do and trying to be realistic...
Have just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant and not sure what to do. I'd like to make a decision sooner rather than later and don't want to be completely selfish about it all.
I've been seeing this guy for a while now and he is supportive that its my choice to have the baby or not. We are not open about our relationship with family or many friends as he is my ex's best friend - his ex best friend I would say. We wanted to see where and what was happening before too many people knew we are together.
But now I have fallen pregnant whilst we were using contraception and I am two minds about what to do. If I have an abortion life goes back to normal... but does it really? I wouldn't be honest with myself if I said that I didn't care and could make such a life changing decision either way fleetingly. I care enough to try to eat the right foods and don't drink now. But not going ahead still runs through my mind.
I have friends who have been married for years who can't fall pregnant, friends who are in therapy from miscarriages. And I feel like I am lucky I have the choice but feel selfish to make the choice... Either way really.
Realistically I'm 30 and financially able to do this. I am totally scared to tell my family who will not support me at first if at all (they took a long time to come round when my ex husband and I split). And scared to tell my friends who have been trying for years with no luck.
Lots of questions. Lots of things running through my head :(

left_field March 3rd, 2013 08:00 AM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Sounds like you have a tough situation but please don't abort your baby. Give your baby a chance at life. Your questioning doing it so remember it is permanent and you should not do this with any questions at all... This is your baby and while you may be scared what your parent may think or friends remember you are now a mother to an unborn child....what would you say to this this little baby about your decision?

Thoughts and prayer are with you. hugs to you.

MerinSun March 3rd, 2013 09:58 AM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Because your first instinct was to immediately make those lifestyle changes to support the growth of your child that tells me you already know what you want to do. Right now you're struggling with how to make it public and how to deal with your close connections. Don't confuse how the world will perceive your pregnancy with what you want to do for yourself. That's not a reason to have an abortion, it's an excuse to avoid being uncomfortable.

My advice is to go see your doctor to talk about your health and the baby's health. Ask to have a low level ultrasound (many offices have them right there and you don't have to make an appointment and at 8 weeks you'll see a lot :)). Once you know the facts about how YOUR body is handling it and you see that medically there is no reason to end the pregnancy you will feel stronger in your decision to continue the pregnancy. Your baby is already here. You're already pregnant. Damage done. People can and WILL accept that.

ElliotsMommy13 March 3rd, 2013 01:44 PM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
I agree with the above responses. If you are already protecting your baby.. you would be going very far against your instincts to kill it. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and there was already a little head on a blob and a heartbeat flickering away. I did not plan my pregnancy and now doing it alone.. I am 24 and already divorced (cheating ex) and pregnant.. my parents are accepting of it and they are excited about their grand child. I would never consider abortion for fear of what others will say a valid reason.. I can understand extreme cases.. but for this case, I would say.. its your life.. don't do it for fear of what others say.

LucieBear March 3rd, 2013 02:34 PM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Thanks for your responses, i think i just needed to hear that it would be ok or that i would be ok. You have made me feel a lot better

MerinSun March 3rd, 2013 09:48 PM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
You're going to be fine :) Congratulations!

outtheblue March 4th, 2013 06:04 AM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Congrats! :)

icandothis March 4th, 2013 06:53 AM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
So much was running thru my head too when I found out I was pregnant a couple weeks ago. I went from "I cant do this" to "am I ready for this" to "what will my parents think". I had scheduled an abortion for Feb 28th this past Friday and my heart just saying "dont kill your baby" to "you can do this" to "am I financial capable" to "now you playing with god" to "where is your faith". So I decided to keep it and I wont tell my parents until Im ready because my mom will just fill my head with negative thoughts like "you can have a baby anytime" to "your man not even working right now" to "Im not helping" to "here you go messing up your life".


I wish you the best in what ever you choose and to real about, aint nobody ready to have a baby financially unless you wealthy and even if you wealthy you might have the money but probably dont have the time to put in.

ElliotsMommy13 March 4th, 2013 09:00 AM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icandothis (Post 27158821)
So much was running thru my head too when I found out I was pregnant a couple weeks ago. I went from "I cant do this" to "am I ready for this" to "what will my parents think". I had scheduled an abortion for Feb 28th this past Friday and my heart just saying "dont kill your baby" to "you can do this" to "am I financial capable" to "now you playing with god" to "where is your faith". So I decided to keep it and I wont tell my parents until Im ready because my mom will just fill my head with negative thoughts like "you can have a baby anytime" to "your man not even working right now" to "Im not helping" to "here you go messing up your life".


I wish you the best in what ever you choose and to real about, aint nobody ready to have a baby financially unless you wealthy and even if you wealthy you might have the money but probably dont have the time to put in.

I always will recommend craigslist and online baby sale places for clothes.. I spent $150 so far and have my baby's clothes all lined up til 9 months.. Plus another $30 for storage bins.. Babies go through clothes sooo fast so its great to get them used.. You're going to be spending a lot on diapers.. but you have time to prepare. Im 18 weeks along (19 on Friday) and I am starting to relax now that I have a bassinet (I got for $30 used), a crib ($120 new on Amazon), and a whole bunch of stuff I have been getting little by little. A baby does cost a lot but Im thinking by the half way point I will be all set and ready for him to come and can relax some.. you can do it.. and I didn't even start shopping until I hit 12 weeks and it became real.. just my whole paycheck (I dont make much) went to it for a couple weeks.

Hundreds of dollars in clothes for $150.. from craigslist and thrift shops
http://i343.photobucket.com/albums/o...psd34a7740.jpg

Everything adds up.. but little by little isnt so bad.
http://i343.photobucket.com/albums/o...pse0d68284.jpg

yvee80 March 4th, 2013 02:43 PM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
I agree with the above posters do not allow others or their opinions to make this decision or you. You have already started making the necessary changes so that you are not harming your unborn baby, so I really think you have already made up your mind that this is your baby and you are going to be a new mommy...CONGRATS :smile:

MerinSun March 4th, 2013 06:40 PM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Icandothis:

I absolutely agree with melissamarie about buying used. I used to think that was kind of only a supplemental thing to what my DH and i could provide but VERY quickly I realized that paying $15 for an outfit when I could be spending $3 was insane. That first year a baby outgrows things so fast and people buy so much clothing for baby showers that the vast majority of new clothing a baby gets goes unworn or worn only once or twice. Summer is coming up fast which means garage/yard sales. THEY ARE YOUR FRIEND!

And to further save money (if you have regular access laundry machines) consider cloth diapering.

HolaBebe March 5th, 2013 11:57 AM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
Quote:

Don't confuse how the world will perceive your pregnancy with what you want to do for yourself. That's not a reason to have an abortion, it's an excuse to avoid being uncomfortable.
^This.
I am Pro-choice, but for the right reasons. You sound like you are on the fence (albeit, leaning one way a bit more): Unfortunately, you have very little time to emotionally prepare for an abortion, but you do have 8-9 months to prepare for a baby.

jennica06 April 4th, 2013 09:51 PM

Re: Lots running through my head
 
well no matter how scared you are u have to face the fct there is a life the is depending on u now so for me if u are able to support for the child keep him or give him/her up for adoption i never thought abortion was a choice for no one has the right to take away the life of a person for everyone deserves to live no matter wat long or short


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