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-   -   I hate being pregnant and I feel angry (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2663289-i-hate-being-pregnant-and-i-feel-angry.html)

tamaramarie July 3rd, 2013 11:07 AM

I hate being pregnant and I feel angry
 
I can't wait to have my baby and get over this crap. I'm 8 1/2 months along now and have hated every moment of it. I want to scream and hit people when they tell me "congratulations" or when they try to feel the baby kick. I miss being thin and I hate not being able to do anything fun :( Aside from being unplanned and the fact I don't make enough money to support a kid I'm also pregnant as a result of crime and sometimes I feel absolutely disgusting for that reason. It's not fair that I have to have a baby just to give him to other people just because some jerk couldn't control himself. :mad:

Yet despite it all I already love my unborn son deeply and I'm really sad that I have to give him up to another family. I'm angry at the person who hurt me and I'm angry at fate for putting me in this situation but I'm not mad at my son at all. I hope I can be friends with him and keep seeing him when he grows up. He was unplanned but he's definitely not unwanted. I would keep him in a heartbeat if I could afford to give him a decent life but I can't.

Does anyone else feel really angry about their unplanned pregnancy?

mamatomany July 3rd, 2013 02:25 PM

Re: I hate being pregnant and I feel angry
 
I'm so sorry you're in this painful situation! I just wanted to say that you are doing a wonderful, selfless thing by giving this sweet baby his first home inside you and then giving another family the most priceless gift of a child. Jesus said that there is no greater love than giving up one's life for a friend. In a way you are doing just that -- you are sacrificing your body and your lifestyle to give this little boy life, and you are sacrificing even more to then give him to a family. I am amazed at what a strong person you are, even if you don't feel like it right now! Remember too that even though you're giving him up, you have a special bond. You're the only one to have these moments with him in his perfect, safe home. He knows your voice, you've given him his first experiences of palate and sounds. Know too that you'll be in a better place someday and you'll get to do this again in a way that makes it possible to raise your baby.

I can't even imagine the pain in your heart right now. I just want you to know you are doing something so incredible and I really admire you. Big hugs, you're almost there!!

MerinSun July 3rd, 2013 08:44 PM

Re: I hate being pregnant and I feel angry
 
I don't know all the details of your situation, obviously, but what all you have said so far I feel very strongly that you go seek a counselor. First, you got pregnant because of a crime committed against you; second, your pregnancy is difficult; third, you have financial issues; and fourth (the biggest one), you don't seem to be comfortable about the impending adoption.

There are so many resources out there that you can take advantage of. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe you've already explored these options and this is the best thing for your situation. I still think you need to see a counselor so that as your pregnancy ends and your son is adopted you are in the best possible head and heart space.

I think anger is a natural and correct emotion to be feeling right now. You have every right to be angry.

tamaramarie July 3rd, 2013 10:53 PM

Re: I hate being pregnant and I feel angry
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MerinSun (Post 27496517)
I don't know all the details of your situation, obviously, but what all you have said so far I feel very strongly that you go seek a counselor. First, you got pregnant because of a crime committed against you; second, your pregnancy is difficult; third, you have financial issues; and fourth (the biggest one), you don't seem to be comfortable about the impending adoption.

There are so many resources out there that you can take advantage of. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe you've already explored these options and this is the best thing for your situation. I still think you need to see a counselor so that as your pregnancy ends and your son is adopted you are in the best possible head and heart space.

I think anger is a natural and correct emotion to be feeling right now. You have every right to be angry.

I have been seeing a counselor and she is the one who suggested an open adoption and she's also been helping me with my anger issues. I think I'm close to not hating the man who attacked me but I will never forgive him. It turned out he is 30 and has been a criminal since his teens and unfortunately I don't think he will ever change and that's part of why I chose adoption because that way my son will have a father who isn't absent and a mean person.

I do forgive my friends now though and my counselor helped me realize that they had no idea that thug was planning to drug me and use me and thanks to them he's in jail where he belongs. And my friends have emotionally supported me so much as have my parents.

As far as money goes I'm not having financial difficulties, I'm just young. I was nineteen when I found out I was pregnant and now I'm 20. I am good with money and make enough to support myself but not enough to support a kid too. I was in my sophomore year of college but I've quit for the time being.

Anyways thank you both for your support :) Can't wait to see my sweet baby boy :heart:

tamaramarie July 3rd, 2013 11:24 PM

Re: I hate being pregnant and I feel angry
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mamatomany (Post 27495843)
I'm so sorry you're in this painful situation! I just wanted to say that you are doing a wonderful, selfless thing by giving this sweet baby his first home inside you and then giving another family the most priceless gift of a child. Jesus said that there is no greater love than giving up one's life for a friend. In a way you are doing just that -- you are sacrificing your body and your lifestyle to give this little boy life, and you are sacrificing even more to then give him to a family. I am amazed at what a strong person you are, even if you don't feel like it right now! Remember too that even though you're giving him up, you have a special bond. You're the only one to have these moments with him in his perfect, safe home. He knows your voice, you've given him his first experiences of palate and sounds. Know too that you'll be in a better place someday and you'll get to do this again in a way that makes it possible to raise your baby.

I can't even imagine the pain in your heart right now. I just want you to know you are doing something so incredible and I really admire you. Big hugs, you're almost there!!

That's so sweet and made me cry (in a good way!!!) Thank you so much! :)

kit.kat.81 July 17th, 2013 01:20 PM

Re: I hate being pregnant and I feel angry
 
Just wanted to say that I am sorry for what you're going through - I was sexually assaulted when I was 19 as well, and I was also in college and had to leave school because of the rape. Unfortunately my attacker was not convicted and stayed on to graduate with honors. I didn't get pregnant, so obviously there are things about your situation that are much different, but I get the anger. Boy, do I get it. I was furious for a long time. It's good that you're able to identify that you're angry, though. I internalized it for a long time and turned it against myself in really destructive ways until I learned to put the blame where it belonged and to express my anger.

Don't be surprised if you have a lot of ups and downs for awhile. Personally I would feel better, then have a setback and feel hopeless for a bit, but eventually things would feel better again and each time they felt just a little bit better. It WILL get easier, I promise. I won't lie and say it'll be easy or that it won't continue to effect you, but it WILL get easier and you can still go on to finish school and do all the things you dream of doing.

I also highly recommend a support group if you can find one. Therapy is wonderful and important, but there's something you can get from talking to people who've been there that is very helpful.

Good luck hun. PM me if you need.


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