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-   -   THese Cynical Thoughts: Pregnanacy is Suppose to be a Happy Occassion, Right? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2664528-these-cynical-thoughts-pregnanacy-suppose-to-happy-occassion-right.html)

SCARlet14 July 9th, 2013 09:52 AM

THese Cynical Thoughts: Pregnanacy is Suppose to be a Happy Occassion, Right?
 
Hello Everyone. Im writing this post because it seems as you ladies can be more supportive than some of my family and friends. i am currently a senior in college, plans were to graduate December 13.

i recently found out that i was pregnant. yes we all ake mistakes but we truly dont weigh the consequences in the moment of action. i had been celebate for a long time before this summer and he walks into my job searching for an iPhone charger... smh

We had a great conversation, great first time connection, and we talke for a week and next the sex came along. I told him I was pregnant. He didnt give me the reaction I was looking for. Since we have barely known each other for six weeks, I thought he would be angry and just say get rid of it. Instaed we talked it out and my reliigious views trumped all.

I cant live with knowing i aborted a child. I dont give life so i feel like i cant take it away. I am very cyncial now when it comes to my future. i dont want to be stuck at Walgreens , living pay check to pay check, and struggling to make ends meet. i dont want my two degrees to go to waste either. I wanted to go back to school, Law School to be exact. Another thing is athough he said h would man up and do what needs to be done, Imm afraid he will just walk out.

I feel like a major disappointment to family. I almost made it out of college... I find myself very down. I just want to know that my life isnt over and that i can still complete law school and provide a great living for e and my child.

mamatomany July 9th, 2013 09:40 PM

Re: THese Cynical Thoughts: Pregnanacy is Suppose to be a Happy Occassion, Right?
 
First off, congratulations! It sounds like your baby's father is very supportive and caring, and that's wonderful. What's really amazing is that even his first reactions were positive and supportive. You're very blessed!

I think you'll find that as your pregnancy progresses your family will become more and more supportive and even excited about this little one, as will you. Now to the practical side of things. While having a child will make law school a little more complicatd, it's definitely possible. Many schools have on-campus childcare that is affordable. You also may qualify for assistance programs that will help you while you're in school. Your little one's father wants to be involved, so he will be able to help make your law school dreams a reality. He has told you he wants to man up, so let him! Don't worry about whether or not he'll stay -- he's here now and doing his best.

As an aside, you might also benefit from some career counseling. I say this only because my husband's job puts him in possession of vast amounts of employment and workforce data, and the law profession is overflowing with unemployed lawyers at the moment. You may be able to find a career path that uses the skills required that attract you about the law field, yet will provide more and better means of employment. Just a thought!

Anyhow, all this to say, your life is just beginning, you're not going to regret at all that you're bringing along with you this sweet treasure. Your son or daughter will give you more purpose and drive, more enjoyment, and more joy in life. Motherhood is not easy, but it is a high and delightful calling. Take a step back, relish the support you're getting from the baby's father, enjoy these special moments with your tiny baby inside of you, explore your options because there are many, and do your best to not stress. It's a tall order but I know you're up to it! I encourage you to join a due date board here on justmommies. It can be a lot of fun to get to know some mamas due the same month as you are. Best wishes and keep us posted!

Loving6 July 12th, 2013 01:12 PM

Re: THese Cynical Thoughts: Pregnanacy is Suppose to be a Happy Occassion, Right?
 
^ Couldn't of said it better ^ Congrats on your pregnancy!

ElliotsMommy13 July 13th, 2013 08:03 AM

Re: THese Cynical Thoughts: Pregnanacy is Suppose to be a Happy Occassion, Right?
 
Honestly, you might be surprised at all the opportunity now.. For me, I have a bachelors degree and couldn't afford my masters yet.. The job market is horrible so since I had no non-retail experience, I got a seasonal job at best buy. I found out I was pregnant after an incident that happened once so I don't have support from the baby's other genetic half. So, December 4th (when I found out) I spent the whole day crying feeling doomed to retail struggling to give this child a good life. Well, I did what I had to do.. Got state pregnancy medical, got prenatal care and started baby shopping.

About half way through my pregnancy I struggled with dehydration and low blood pressure so I was getting dizzy at work and still expected to run around like crazy, climb ladders, and go the whole shift usually not even allowed to have the state mandated breaks. At that point I put in my notice and left at about 25weeks pregnant and I had already bought the baby necessities. I was so stressed out but things actually turned around with leaving. I sucked up my pride and asked the state for food and cash benefits. They ended up giving me $200/month food and $300/month cash.. It's not enough to really live but definitely can get by. They also have housing programs as needed. Well, with the cash program, (at least here) they'll insist you try to look for work or do some job training or school but you're exempt third trimester and baby's first year. For me, there is no way I can think of not getting right back on my feet.

I feel like its a great opportunity for me to let the state pay for some education that will help me into a better job since my degree did nothing for me. They also will help finding jobs and with childcare. Also, I didn't sign up until I was 7months pregnant.. But WIC is also available while pregnant for food.. All that together can really be a life saver when everything looks kind of tough.. By the end of the pregnancy you'll have a new outlook on everything. I do. :) my little man will be here within the next 20 days. Things will be alright and if you have any questions or want to talk more you can always private message me. I hope my story helps you see some light at the end of the tunnel.

MerinSun July 14th, 2013 02:56 PM

Re: THese Cynical Thoughts: Pregnanacy is Suppose to be a Happy Occassion, Right?
 
There's no reason why you can't still graduate from college in December. You're still in your first trimester which means you're due in February/March? Pregnancy will not interfere with going to school. You'll be tired but that can be worked around.

So, you graduate in December and apply for Law school (if you haven't already). You can choose to attend starting the Fall semester instead of the Spring. Or you can even start in the Summer sessions. Many colleges have accelerated courses in the summer (6 weeks for one traditional semester's worth of classes). Graduate school is much more focused on a career path than undergraduate. But the trade-off is that your professors are used to seeing older people with families and/or careers already in place.

When I went to get my Masters in education the vast majority of people in my courses were people who were already holding down full-time jobs. One of my classmates was pregnant and due to pop mid-semester. She already had it arranged with all the professors on how to handle that. I don't know the specific arrangements but she didn't seem concerned about it affecting her graduation date.

What you will want to do is figure out how to get a graduate assistantship at your college. At my college I got around $1,200 a month for a 20 hour work week. And my tuition was paid for and I got a discount on my books. So, if you take 12 credit hours, work 20 hours, that is only 32 hours a week. Spend 8-10 hours studying/researching/writing/etc that's about the same time as a full-time job. Very baby friendly.


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