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-   -   First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2703430-first-post-unplanned-freaking-out.html)

pinstripedbabe January 14th, 2014 09:20 PM

First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
Hello everyone I'm so happy to have found a place with people who can give me advice on what I'm going through. I'm 22 years old and my boyfriend is 25. We have been dating for almost 2 years and we love each other very much. We always talk about marriage and kids, however this one came as a surprise. We were planning on waiting longer, like until after I finished college. I'm not worried so much about finances because he has a great job with benefits and everything so I know everything will be covered and we'll be somewhat comfortable. I am completely freaking out for myself though...

I'm so anxious and scared about just being pregnant/delivery.
I wish I waited till I finished school.

The worst part that makes me feel guilty is that I just want to go out and party. All my friends go out drinking every weekend and I usually do to. I love being 22 and going out to bars and staying out late at night. I like smoking a drunk cigarette and drunkenly socializing and then waking up the next day to eat crappy hangover food. I want to do that right now. I can't believe that I can't do those things for AT LEAST 9 months (probably much longer). It sounds so childish and I feel embarrassed but I just wish this never happened and I feel guilty for saying that.

Is there anyone out there who went through this? :confused::(

also, i just found out today that I am pregnant so I am very overwhelmed right now. My first doctor appointment is on Monday.

mamatomany January 14th, 2014 10:11 PM

Re: First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
Congrats! It sounds like overall you're in a great place to start a family with a supportive boyfriend and financial stability! I can totally understand how it's depressing to think about giving up partying right now when you're having such a good time. The difficulty right now is thwt it's easy to see the downsides of being pregnant because they're tangible and effecting you in ways that aren't fun. What's so much harder to see right now are the amazing upsides, because those aren't here yet and can't even be imagined. Becoming a mom will seriously blow your mind. It's impossible to quantify the joy you're going to feel when you first are handed the little baby that came from you and your boyfriend's love for each other. Motherhood is amazing and the joy and delight you'll find in it will definitely make up for missing partying this year, I promise!

Don't stress, you've got lots of time to get used to this new phase of life, and with a few adjustments should have no trouble finishing school. Very best wishes and let us know how your appointment goes Monday!

pinstripedbabe January 15th, 2014 07:22 AM

Re: First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
Thank you for the kind response. I will keep you updated! :)

Rainbow Momma January 15th, 2014 09:56 AM

Re: First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
Congrats! I definately understand where you are coming from. When i got pregnant when i was 19 i was just like you were, i had moved across the state from my parents was begining to party and having loads of fun. When i found out i was preggo it kinda crushed me that i wasnt going to be able do those things anymore so thats totally normal what you are feeling. youre young! pregnancy is a roller coaster of emotions. but i know shortly have the time when i was sad i was pregnant i got super excited and knew i was ready to be a mom.

MerinSun January 16th, 2014 06:45 PM

Re: First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
I miss the partying and drunkeness :( But my problem is that all my friends are far away from me and I have no excuse to go out and have fun late at night. I'd just be going by myself and that's boring.

Once you have the baby and get a schedule nailed down (it may take a few months, be warned) EVENTUALLY you will be able to carve time out for yourself. Just do it more responsibly. My husband and I have a rule that we both can't be intoxicated at the same time. We can both have drinks but only one of us can drink enough to impair judgement or be unsafe to drive. Also, once you're comfortable, you can let the grandparents hold onto the baby for a night and that will allow you both to go out and party and enjoy yourselves :)

It's just going to take more planning and there will be times where your baby will trump the partying. It's a balance.

pinstripedbabe January 20th, 2014 02:28 PM

Re: First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
Doctor went well today although it's super early. I'm only 5 weeks. I'm feeling a little better about everything but still having bouts of nervousness and crying. I just want a bottle of wine! lol!

Thank you for the kind response...I need to focus more on the pregnancy right instead of partying. Alcohol will be around forever. This will only be 9 months. hmmm

Rainbow Momma January 21st, 2014 12:38 PM

Re: First Post/Unplanned/Freaking out
 
Glad the appointment went well! Very true!


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