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-   -   I need some help/advice (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/687374-i-need-some-help-advice.html)

got2lines August 13th, 2007 08:44 AM

I recently found out that I am pregnant. I need help. I had sex with two people around the time frame that I would have become pregnant. The first guy, never finished inside me, but the condom broke. I know that guys can have precum that you can get pregnant from. The second guy did finish inside and was unprotected. I know. I wasn't very smart. I feel horrible, I am still with the second guy, he is very excited to be a dad, I have informed him of the other guy. I feel awful every single day, I just can't forgive myself for being so stupid. He says that he has forgiven me and will love the baby no matter what. But I still just feel so awful. I plan to do a paternity test to put my mind at ease once the baby is born (I am praying that it is the second guys baby, not the first), but that is still far away and I just need some other opinions of who is most likely the father. PLEASE HELP ME. I greatly appreciate any thoughts/advice you have. I know I was wrong. Thank you for any help you are able to give, and I am sorry this is so long.

HighwayDaisy August 13th, 2007 07:44 PM

Hey! Welcome to the unplanned board (and JM)! I'm not sure if I really have a good guess about who the father is, but you already sound like you're in a really good position! The guy you're with is excited and promising to be supportive no matter what, most women aren't that lucky!

Try not to be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes. When I was younger, I had a pregnancy scare and there were two boys involved. I was lucky enough not to be pregnant at the time, but it's something so many of us face. BUT it sounds like you have a wonderful BF, so that's something to be very thankful for!

Hang in there, enjoy the pregnancy, and stick around if you can, there is so much support here!

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Zarina0831 August 13th, 2007 10:30 PM

Quote:

I recently found out that I am pregnant. I need help. I had sex with two people around the time frame that I would have become pregnant. The first guy, never finished inside me, but the condom broke. I know that guys can have precum that you can get pregnant from. The second guy did finish inside and was unprotected. I know. I wasn't very smart. I feel horrible, I am still with the second guy, he is very excited to be a dad, I have informed him of the other guy. I feel awful every single day, I just can't forgive myself for being so stupid. He says that he has forgiven me and will love the baby no matter what. But I still just feel so awful. I plan to do a paternity test to put my mind at ease once the baby is born (I am praying that it is the second guys baby, not the first), but that is still far away and I just need some other opinions of who is most likely the father. PLEASE HELP ME. I greatly appreciate any thoughts/advice you have. I know I was wrong. Thank you for any help you are able to give, and I am sorry this is so long.[/b]

Well if you know anything about your cycle and when you were the most fertile you could narrow it down that way (assuming you didnt have sex with them both within the same couple of days). Even if you dont know that much about your cycle....if your cycle is regular than you could also perhaps do some narrowing down that way. My cycle is 28 days, like clockwork...14 days after I ovulate I get my period. Usually I've found that when I'm the most fertile is when I'm the most in the mood. Also cervical mucus is lotion like when you're fertile....then after you've ovulated I believe its clear and stretchy....lol someone correct me if I'm wrong...I havent had a period in 9 months. Hope this helps you out some. And dont beat yourself up too much about it, it seems as though the man you're with now loves this child already. He's going to be there no matter what the outcome is, he's going to be a father to your baby.

Kalia20 August 15th, 2007 07:59 AM

Real hard to say who the father could be....I have heard of some women getting pregnant with two forms of birth control. I completely agree that you are lucky to have a man thats willing to be there no matter what. Any man can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad. Congratulations on your pregnancy :)

LadyCoconut August 15th, 2007 06:57 PM

Popping in from WTTC... if you don't know when your LMP was, then I think (although I've never been pg so idk) that they will do an ultrasound and measure the baby and can narrow it down and say sometihng like, you're 4 weeks 5 days pregnant, or whatever... so then you'll know what day you concieved, but sperm can live in you for up to 5 days or something, so that may not help too much unless there was like a week in between sleeping with these guys.

And your'e most fertile when you have egg white looking slippery/stretchy cervical mucous.

Either way, congrats on your pregnancy!

Grateful~Gentle~Mama August 16th, 2007 07:47 PM

Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to JM! Please stick around and join a Due Date Club.

I agree with the previous posters, if you didn't have sex with them both within a couple of days, an early ultrasound- as early as possible is best- can determine when you got pregnant, even down to the day if you go early enough! So, hopefully that will ease your mind, as I would hate for you to go through this entire pregnancy unsure of whats to come!

Either way, it sounds like you have a definate KEEPER there in your man mama! Lucky you! I am alone in this and usually I'm OK with that, but I've been feeling really sad lately about it, so I just wanted to tell you how blessed you are in that! :inlove:

Jax August 17th, 2007 09:23 PM

I agree to ask for an ultrasound asap.. and when you do, leave no margin of error.. ask the doctor point blank to tell you what the day of conception most likely was. He should be able to do that. I can all be confusing if you don't because some docs go by you weeks starting at your LMP, some start at conception.. and there's a BIG difference there. So just ask him what the exact day of conception was based upon the EDD.

And just a helpful word.. most likely it would be the second. I know I can't say for sure.. but those are the odds. Good luck.

MLBelle August 18th, 2007 08:25 AM

I would think that the chances of the guy who was unprotected are a bit higher of him being the father.
But congratulations on your pregnancy!


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