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-   -   I'm getting so sick of this arrrggggg (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f47-venting-room/1271-i-m-getting-so-sick-arrrggggg.html)

pinkpercolator August 8th, 2004 04:07 AM

It was on the idea. When I work our son cooks dinner for him and dad. And does the dishes. Ha. I got home last night. Son did not make no dinner. I said oh well. Then you starve tonight. I'm not cooking. I cooked all day at work. I go in our room to sit down and relax in front of the tv there. Our son says no fair I get to eat and he don't. Cook me something. I said S.OL. It's your job on days I work. He was mad I came home with a croissant sandwich with egg salad in it from work. I did not cook him nothing. Then I asked dh what did son do all day. Nothing. Did he even go out back and wack the weeds or do any of the yard work. Nope. I yelled at son about that. He says why don't I shut up about it. That having a job does not get you out of your work at home. I said well how about when Uncle Tim comes over I tell him to take your computer. You heard me tell him he's got my permission to take it for a while if you don't do your work around the house. Our son is 15yrs old. Then a little while after I was home. Son says can I go stay at Daves house over night. Dh says whatever. Well you gotta drive me there. Dh says I don't feel like driving you. So son goes off pouting. I said well ride your bike there. Oh that's 5 miles. I said well you and another friend were going to do it last week. So do it now. He just wanted dad to drive him. Dh said he might of if son did the work I asked of him. It's going to be the same thing today. I'll get home and none of his chores will be done. Then last week one day. I came home from work. I see son doing dishes sort of. He says oh good your home. You can do them now. I let them sit. He finally did them. I told dh if nothing gets done at home while I work. I might as well quit working. Why should I go to work. Work my butt off for 8 hours then come home to do house work on top of it. I'll do work on my off days at home. But work days our son must cook supper and do dishes.

zonapellucida August 8th, 2004 08:11 AM

LOL Welcome to being a woman! We are expected to do EVERYTHING!!

1Bow&2Bowties Mama August 8th, 2004 10:27 AM

I would sit your son down and tell him these are the things you are expected to do and if you don't then no computer or take something away that he enjoys doing. Why the heck should you go work your butt off while he is at home doing nothing all day. My mom used to give us a list of stuff to do while she was at work to help her out. Seriously tell your son to get off his ***** and help out if you don't put your foot down he is going to keep treating you this way. While your at work get your dh to enforce the chores don't give your son the option of not doing the chores its either you do them or you get stuff taken away. He needs to be treating you with respect.

Carol August 8th, 2004 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkpercolator@Aug 8 2004, 08:07 AM
I yelled at son about that. He says why don't I shut up about it. That having a job does not get you out of your work at home.
And he still has teeth? Your son needs to learn that you are his mom, therefore you make the rules, not he. Life doesn't always work the way we want it to so we need to suck it up and get over it. And when he's an adult, life isn't going to be any more fair. (((((Hugs))))). I know this has to be hard on you. Hang in there!

Alice August 8th, 2004 05:42 PM

Why not lay it out on the table?? I make $xx per week. If I'm forced to quit my job to take care of the house, then here are the things YOU can no longer afford:
sneakers, movies, etc. Teenagers are notoriously self centered: let him see the consequences for him if he forces you to quit. It may not force the respect issue, but I bet it gets the dishes done.

mom2one August 9th, 2004 09:34 AM

Sounds like it's time for him to get a partime summer job, he needs his own money so he can see how far it DOESN'T go. He is a big boy, he can start making his own dinner. And if he doesn't, his problem. I doubt he'll do much that his parents ask of him, so to cure the boredom and attitude, he may need to get out of the house and start working for someone else. Give him the experience of a boss telling him what to do and he may have more respect for what you do. Then he may be more likely to listen to you since it proves to him that is the way the world works...someone will always being telling him what to do in the real world...might as well give him a taste now.

JMHO
Nicole

pinkpercolator August 9th, 2004 11:21 AM

We discussed the part time job issue. That's work. He keeps making excuses why he don't want this kind or that kind of job. So I don't give him any spending money unless he does some work. Dh got on his butt really bad. Says my parents gave us chores to do. And we did not get paid for them. It was our duties as part of the household. So now he's asking for stuff. I said well you did nothing. So you get nothing. If mom has to quit working because you won't help out around the house. That means no good food from the grocery store that you like. No internet. And on and on. That we won't have money for those things.

tamw402004 August 9th, 2004 02:51 PM

My kids are older.....my youngest is 14 years old. I have never made any of them do chores. But, I think it is a good ideal to ask them for help when you need it. It has always been easier for me to just get the things done. I do them the way I like them done. I have always pretty much been a stay at home Mom too! The only jobs I have had outside of our home where part time.
But, I think you are right.....If you need him to help out at his age...He should!
I hope things get better around your house...So it will not be so stressful for you! GOD BLESS YOU! :)

threeboyznme70 August 9th, 2004 07:34 PM

oh, oh.... you'll love this idea! (you're son will hate it).....

When I was in CA a couple of weeks ago, the wacko woman that my sister roommates with told me something that one of her previous bosses did. They were quite wealthy, but always made sure that their kids knew the value of their money. They paid them for their chores (significant money in my book, but when you see the rest, you'll know why), but they had to use the money wisely. One time, the daughter (14) blew all of her money and a week later told her dad taht she needed new shoes. He asked her, how much do you have left, she told him NOTHING. He took her to Goodwill to buy shoes. She had to pay him back for those shoes as well as save if she wanted something other than Goodwill shoes.

When it comes to food, school supplies and fees, those are our duty as parents. We however, are not obligated to buy something just because they want it or because it's a certain brand. He wanted to go to his friend's house ... fine... wack the weeds & we'll figure out how much gas money it will take to get you there. I am not obligated to be the taxi.

He really does give you a hard way to go. I personally think that the computer would have been the first thing to go. My 11 year old has about 4 toys in his room. The rest are int he basement and he earns them back on a weekly basis. I imagine by the time taht he earns all of them back, he'll be too old for some of them! (woooooooooh oooooooooooooo I can throw some crap out! lol)

Best Wishes!!!

in_mommy August 10th, 2004 04:21 PM

I like your idea Tracy. I will have to remember that one when my kids get older!!


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