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-   -   Need advice fast. (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f47-venting-room/1763511-need-advice-fast.html)

amandabee November 6th, 2009 09:10 AM

Need advice fast.
 
I almost exactly 4 months pregnant with my first child. I am 22 years old.
The babys father and me have been together for 4 years coming up in January.

Well, ever since I found out I was pregnant there has been a lot of lying.
He is constantly lying to me about something and they aren't "little" things
They are too inappropriate to post on here I think, but its things i'm against.

I think everyday I find out something he has lied to me about. I just don't know what to do.
I am EXTREMELY stressed out. Not only with him, but with this pregnancy I have had some complications. Well, he knows this and its like he is just purposely doing all this.

When I confront him about something, he gets SUPER mad. Shouldn't I be the one that is mad?

I just don't know what to do. I am to the point that leaving is better than staying here with him.
The stress isn't good for the baby, nor do I want to put the baby in a environment or not.

I don't have a job. But, I have thought about going to our SRS and applying for some kind of assistance for low income housing or something like that.

What do you all think? Any feedback would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks.

saucerms November 13th, 2009 09:21 PM

Re: Need advice fast.
 
I had been under stress like that during my pregnancy. Now, I can't really compare because I don't know what your man is lying about, but I've decided (maybe different for you) that leaving your partner while pregnant (unless you're suffering abuse) is not the best idea. Not only just financially, but hormonally, preggo's are a mess! Now, there may be things that you would really be angry about hormonal or not, but sometimes there are things that even though they'd get us angry, we could think of better ways to handle it. About him getting angry, that's just immaturity on his part. Did he want a child? If not maybe he's got some resentment or some dumb male excuse. If he's as young as you are maybe he's not mature enough to handle this situation yet. There is no excuse for him lying to you, you're carrying his child and you deserve way more respect than that. Maybe suggest couples therapy? You'll probably get a few suggestions, but every situation is different and your S.O. may not handle things as you'd hope he would. Try telling him that he's being selfish by lying and stressing you out the way he is, and that you need a better environment to be pregnant and raise a child in. I hope everything works out for you.

in_mommy November 16th, 2009 07:26 PM

Re: Need advice fast.
 
Wow, I had posted to you, but it seems like the post monster must have ate my post :(

How are things now? They still the same? Do you think he could be cheating and that is why he is acting the way he is? I think you really need to sit him down and have a heart to heart with him. Is there any place that you can go to stay, maybe family or friends just to give you a bit of a break and to help think things through clearly??
I don't know what kind of things he is lying about, but if it is something that is really serious, then you need to get to the bottom of it. You can not have a healthy relationship when your lacking trust. If you feel that you can not repair things, then by all means go, as your right, stress is not good for either one of you and if he is lying about serious issues that is not a good environment to bring a baby into. (((HUGS))) Update when you can!!

Marlz. November 17th, 2009 09:56 PM

Re: Need advice fast.
 
I'm sorry to hear your going through this. Personally I hate people lying.. I hate when my dh tells even a small lie. Still he does it. I dont know your dh.. but I know my dh gets very loud and angry even when he is in the wrong.. I think he feels like he has extra power and trys to be in control.. I dont know whether they think if they yell or scream it will make you scared and you'll be quiet or what it is.

I know if your dh starts getting really abusive I'd leave.. I have no idea what he's lying about but I hope he stops & gets out of the habit of lying to you.. He need to break that bad habit of lying before it gets worst. Sometimes when people lie so much they cant stop and it just because like a addiction.. and they even start believing their own lies.


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