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Lisadear May 8th, 2006 01:45 PM

:( :( :( :( :(

so its said that before anything moves up things hit rock bottom first right????

or have I been misinformed?

of late my health has NOT been the best ... other than my bipolar crap acting up, my sugar level is out of whack and doctors dont know why.

I've been called names by BOTH my parents when I try to do the usual stuff for myself cause I don't want to fully depend on anyone and I don't want anyone cutting style on me either :(
Now one parent wont talk to me because HE called me names cause the kids were going out yesterday morning instead of church this ONE time ... oh please .... I can't afford to take them anywhere or do anything for them and someone offered to treat us as a lil family outing cause they knew I was having it so rough.

I let the kids go but I stayed home.

My poor chicks were then b*****ed at .... where I wash down the cage that is ... and you wouldnt believe how ridiculous it was ... water was just collecting ... I mean oh gosh give me a break.

My ex husband whom we've not seen for four years has finally called asking to speak to me first before having contact with the kids ... why?????????????????????? .... its up to the kids if they want to see him or not ... I have never said a word against him but he's surely NOT getting to take them anywhere cause he's a slacker and my kids might get murdered (literally) in the line of fire.

Whom I considered the love of my life decided last week to end our FIVE year relationship to try again with his ex wife .... its like a complete slap in my face .... he had turned out to be my best friend and well .... now I have no one and it hurts like nothing else I can imagine.

I missed two weeks of work and I've been given a warning today .... there are others that slack EVERYday but not told a word but I've been the one warned.

I don't want to be here ... I don't want to go home ... I dont want to be anywhere.

I have no options ... I can't afford to live on my own yet but I am working on it .... I'm fedup of people thinking they can just say what they want just because I'm under their roof.

Sabrina acts up at times and even my son hugs me and tells me "mom dont take her on" ..... she apologises after though.

I am near brokes already cause of all medical and hospital bills .... I dont know what to do cause the money will not last into next week ... Mom was kind of b****ing about the hospital fees so I gave her EVERY cent upfront ...

I now have to turn around and literally beg the insurance company to PLEASE process my claim so I can get a couple of $$ to tide me over.

Its been so hard that sometimes I'm crying and have no idea why but then a depressed person needs no reason right?

I overhear (cause she purposely does it) my mom ######ing about my health to my sisters and that I'm a burden and she has to tote the kids everywhere .... this is soooooooooooo not true .... she takes them nowhere .... I have a driver who I pay to do that for me.

I even went and let's just say reached out a hand first to a friendship gone a bit awry ... yeah I got great replies but only to find out AFTER that there were nasty comments before the replies were put for me :(

Now why do I bother? ... I got two kids ... I love being a mom but I wish I could give them anything they wanted or needed including a clear head.

xxx Lisa xxx

mrobinson May 8th, 2006 02:23 PM

:dothug:

:( Aww hon, I'm at work so I know I'm not giving you all I want..

This sucks. I am mad at your family right now... but I don't want you to feel guilty about not giving your children everything.. I think it's just another example of the wonderful person you are, but it's not for you to bear completely.

I'm going to come back to this tonight... In the meantime, I want you to know I've been worried about you feeling isolated. I totally love you girl and never want you to feel bad about these things because I know your heart is so generous and you're nothing short of a fablous person and mother.

:dothug:

Cheers, Michelle

Lisadear May 9th, 2006 05:11 AM

I just spoke to my step MIL and begged her to help me out ....

Missy goes to school and complains that she hates me and really as far as I'm concerned there's nothing wrong with us :blink:

She has parents' day later in May and I begged my inlaws to please go for me since I've been warned about taking more timeoff from work and I know I still have to do that cause of health problems.

I want someone else to hear what missy tells her guidance counsellor ... that the world is against her and that I dont let her do anything and that she hates me even though she cant give specifics.

Its not only that .... my entire family on my side thinks I'm an embarrassment ... I've been told that to my face ... :( :( :( :(

I try to go on but I really dunno how much more I can or cannot take at this particular moment

Is anything really worth it?

I have one kid who would spit on me and everyone else and another who tells me he loves me every minute he gets .... if not for the loving kid I would think it would be all my fault and I did something wrong :(

I had to make sandwiches today cause I have no money .... :( :( :( I don't like having to be like this at all.

I just want it to end .... not bad ... just get better at least ... is that too much to ask?

xxx Lisa xxx

carolinagirl May 9th, 2006 07:22 AM

First :dothug:

You're right the saying goes, "sometimes things have to hit rock bottom before they get better". I know it seems like "when it rains, it pours" too. I've been there and I totally sympathize with you!! Things will get better. I wish I could offer more insight than that, but I've never personally battled bipolar disease. However my step-son does - so I do live with someone who is bipolar. It's rough on all parties involved. It's tough on you, the kids, your parents, your friends - everyone that matters to you suffers b/c you're suffering.

I wish I knew what to tell you to do about your work issues. Personally, I just don't think they know how to handle the situation. I mean it's legit reasons for missing work but it's not like a visable disease that they can "see".. this is something you carry internally that can't be seen. I got crap from an ex-employer one time. I worked ALL the dern time and I wore a girdle for back support as well as looking nice is my dress clothes. Well as a result of that I caused gastrointestinal problems for myself. For two weeks I vomited and had a severe case of diahrea. I couldn't keep anything down and was very dehydrated. My mom took me to the Doctor's after a week of not being able to keep anything in my system. They diagnosed me with gastrointeritis (effects your lower intestines). I took my doctor's note to my employer and she thought it said that I had "gas" and that it wasn't an appropriate work excuse and that I better be to work the next day or I wouldn't have a job. Guess what? I didn't go back and I lost my job over her not being able to understand my diagnosis. Sometimes people are just stupid and there isn't anything you can do or say.

I wish you much luck with resolving your problems and I'm always here to listen!!

in_mommy May 9th, 2006 12:52 PM

:dothug: :dothug: :dothug:

I wish I could do more for you. I can say that eventually it will get better. I know the feeling of having no money and wondering how in the world you are going to get by. I know that when you are having rough times it is a little easier to get by with help from your family, but these guys sound like a bunch of selfish jerks that dont want to help and find it easier to put you down and call you names instead of being kind. I hope things start to turn around soon for you!!!

:dothug: :dothug: :dothug:

Lisadear May 9th, 2006 04:18 PM

Quote:

:dothug: :dothug: :dothug:

I wish I could do more for you. I can say that eventually it will get better. I know the feeling of having no money and wondering how in the world you are going to get by. I know that when you are having rough times it is a little easier to get by with help from your family, but these guys sound like a bunch of selfish jerks that dont want to help and find it easier to put you down and call you names instead of being kind. I hope things start to turn around soon for you!!!

:dothug: :dothug: :dothug:[/b]
I'm an embarrassment to their perfect Brady Bunch scenario ... when we have visitors now they hustle me off to the bedroom and pull in the door to keep me there .... not that I mind ... I lay down and watch movies without anyone harrassing me

I got another problem to check out guys ... Shawn and I broke it off but there is a great possibility that I could be pregnant right now ... didnt plan it and I dont know if to say a word or not cause I dont want it to seem like I'm using some cheap scheme to get him back .... I'd rather have this kid myself ... only once just ONCE can I have a HAPPY pregnancy if I am??????????????? :(

xxx Lisa xxx

in_mommy May 9th, 2006 05:14 PM

Hold off until you know for sure if you are or not, you dont need the extra crap from anyone right now. I cant believe that they do that to you. I think just for kicks, I wouldnt let them do that, stay out, and if they want to make you out like a crazy person, then give them something to talk about!! Have fun with it, stand up and just start yelling at the wall or a plant or something :devil: :lol: ! I just cant believe they treat you like that, that is just so wrong. When you get back on your feet and one of them is down on their luck, and they come to you for help, you know darn well that they want to be treated better than that!!

Lisadear May 10th, 2006 05:10 AM

Quote:

Hold off until you know for sure if you are or not, you dont need the extra crap from anyone right now. I cant believe that they do that to you. I think just for kicks, I wouldnt let them do that, stay out, and if they want to make you out like a crazy person, then give them something to talk about!! Have fun with it, stand up and just start yelling at the wall or a plant or something :devil: :lol: ! I just cant believe they treat you like that, that is just so wrong. When you get back on your feet and one of them is down on their luck, and they come to you for help, you know darn well that they want to be treated better than that!![/b]
well I need to find out as soon as possible because I'm on tons of meds for my bipolar illness and I'm afraid they will harm the baby.

I know if I am that this will not go down too well with my family but I dont care really .... its a baby and a person and I'm the one to deal with it as best as I can.

I just want to find out asap to be able to stop my meds and have a healthy kiddo. I don't want to endanger his/her life

xxx Lisa xxx

cherii May 10th, 2006 05:28 AM

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j3...GGIEWUGGIE.gif

You poor soul. As if the world isnt tuff enuff to live in without the people you need the most not supporting you. If you ever need a 'virtual shoulder' to cry on, please feel free to PM me and vent all you want. There is nothing worse than having no one to open up to. Just remember to sort out one thing at a time and don't overwhelme yourself more than you need to.

Take care buddy!

Lisadear May 10th, 2006 05:43 AM

Quote:

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j3...GGIEWUGGIE.gif

You poor soul. As if the world isnt tuff enuff to live in without the people you need the most not supporting you. If you ever need a 'virtual shoulder' to cry on, please feel free to PM me and vent all you want. There is nothing worse than having no one to open up to. Just remember to sort out one thing at a time and don't overwhelme yourself more than you need to.

Take care buddy![/b]
ty everyone ... I just did the test and ................... I'm ................... NOT!

one less thing to worry about .... they can continue to call me the usual names now lol

xxx Lisa xxx

mrobinson May 10th, 2006 08:55 PM

Quote:

Quote:

http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j3...GGIEWUGGIE.gif

You poor soul. As if the world isnt tuff enuff to live in without the people you need the most not supporting you. If you ever need a 'virtual shoulder' to cry on, please feel free to PM me and vent all you want. There is nothing worse than having no one to open up to. Just remember to sort out one thing at a time and don't overwhelme yourself more than you need to.

Take care buddy![/b]
ty everyone ... I just did the test and ................... I'm ................... NOT!

one less thing to worry about .... they can continue to call me the usual names now lol

xxx Lisa xxx
[/b]
:dothug:

I completely agree with all the girls responses... Aww Lisa!?!?! I wish I could do more but please feel free to pm me anytime.
(Cherii ~ I love that blinkie!!)


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