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-   -   Just Need To Vent (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f47-venting-room/2631444-just-need-to-vent.html)

MommytoZoeAlyssa March 4th, 2013 06:53 AM

Just Need To Vent
 
I just need to vent for a moment as I have no one to turn to or talk to.
My bf and I had a bit of a fight this morning based ona coversation my mother and I had on the way to work. Just a little back story. I am in the midst of a divorce and living with my parents and my bf is also in the midst of a divorce and living with his grandmother and is inbetween jobs right now. Anyway he used to do pills and stuff and that is what wrecked his marriage he has since stopped this and although I have suspected it a couple times esp yesterday the way he was acting I have tried not to get in a huge fight over it. Anyway my dad has pain pills that he got from a surgery and some of them went missing they asked me if i took them and i didnt. well dad put 4 in a bottle down stairs to see if one would go missing sure enough last week it did and mom/dad myself and my 7 y/o and my bf have been the only ones at the house. My mom asked me if i took them and I didnt. Well nothing more was really said about it until this morning and she straight up accused him. Well i called him and asked him about it told him I didnt want to fight and he flew off the handle saying he was going to give my parents an ear full and what not i told him to just let it go and not say anything. Anyway he is pissed at me now and I just feel lost and uncertain of what to say or do. I just dont want to make my parents mad at me because they have been good enough to let my daughter and I stay there and stuff. Anyway like I said i just needed to vent and get this off my chest in hopes it would make me feel better. I really just feel like crying but i got to hold it together since I am at work... ugh hope this day gets better...

*Jennifer* March 4th, 2013 10:11 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
Chances are if you suspect him of taking the pills he probably did take them. There is a reason you suspect he did it. Do you know how long he was addicted to pills? What type of help did he get to stop them?

MommytoZoeAlyssa March 4th, 2013 10:17 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
Several years. it was mostly pain pills and xanex. He didnt actually get any real help. He wrecked a couple years ago and got a ticket and went to court messed up and ended up in jail for 5 days. I guess I have been in denial about it but there have been a few times where im postive he was messed up on something but he slept it off and everything was fine and we could go a month or two and everything was great. Last night he was slurring his words and falling asleep eating and my daughter was there and i just made him leave because I didnt want her seeing that she has become very close to him. And what scares me even more is the fact we have been NTNP and im terried i will end up pregnant now. I am just a mess today :(

*Jennifer* March 4th, 2013 10:30 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
I hope you don't mind me giving you some advice you may not want to hear. You are a mother. Your priority is your daughter and a man addicted to pills is not someone you should have in your daughter's life. Hopefully you are not pregnant and you can move on from this relationship with no strings attached. Take care of yourself and your daughter. Show her that she is the most important person in the world to you by making a better life for the two of you.

MommytoZoeAlyssa March 4th, 2013 10:34 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
No what you are saying is the truth. My daughter is my number 1 and I would do anything for her. Thank you for giving some input. I just feel pretty down with the situation and all the other things in my life that have been going on the past year. Seems like just as I get myself picked up and dusted off from one thing another knocks me down. Some days it gets hard to stay postive and believe everything will work out I know it will eventually but man when it rains it pours.

*Jennifer* March 4th, 2013 11:23 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
(((HUGS))) I hope better days are ahead for you.

MommytoZoeAlyssa March 4th, 2013 01:12 PM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
Thank you! Just having someone to listen on here has helped so i really appreicate it!

MommytoZoeAlyssa March 6th, 2013 07:14 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
Just wanted to post a little update I am not pregnant AF showed up this morning a week early I was pretty thankful. The bf and I are talking but I am not sure whats going on. I want to break up with him I just dread the big mess and he is not wanting to break up so I know its going to be ugly

AnnaBonana April 17th, 2013 06:44 PM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
Oh hugs to you! Wow I wish I could sit down with a warm cup of tea and tell you my story.

I fell madly in love with a man several years ago, we worked together. There were signs here and there but it took me a while to understand the full truth. He was an AMAZING person. Good through and through and so kind to me! I'd never had that before. At first I told myself that his drug use would not interfere with our relationship. Then when it inevitably did, I told myself he would clean up. Then when that inevitably didn't happen, I told myself I could help him clean up.

I loved him so, so much. I tried to steal some prescription drugs myself to help him detox (mostly Valium type stuff). He tried to do a three day detox and I seriously thought he was going to die in front of me but we had both stolen drugs to do this detox. How stupid could I have possibly been?

But I wasn't stupid, I was crazy in love with a wonderful man who just happened to be addicted to painkillers.

He lived through the detox, I'll spare you the horrifying details.

Eventually I realized that I couldn't help him and marching him to doctors couldn't help him either. Eventually I found out that he was stealing money, credit cards, and random prescription drugs from my family as well.

We had to break up and it was so painful. I'll spare you the nasty details of that, as well.

Drug addicts are really good at hiding their addiction, making excuses, covering their tracks, and making themselves appear normal. They have to or else they'd have to accept that they are the ones with the problem. It is a problem that you can not take away.

I had an enormously hard time with the breakup then. He would call me crying and how do you react? Life with an addict is hard, not only because of the addiction itself, but what if you get back together, have a few kids, buy a house and life is peachy? Sounds great, doesn't it? But then one day there's a relapse and suddenly all your credit is maxed out and your kids have a zombie on their couch.

You're going to do what you feel is best but dealing with all the behaviour and personality glitches that come from being an addict makes for a difficult life for both you and your children.

((Hugs)) and good luck to you, whatever you decide.

MommytoZoeAlyssa April 18th, 2013 06:14 AM

Re: Just Need To Vent
 
Well we have since made up and things have been good.
I hate to hear of your story I know how rough that is my first husband done alot of drugs and stayed drunk all the time and was very abusive. My bf is doing well and seems to be trying to stay postive and find a job I guess only time will tell. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with me!!


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