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-   -   Never going to happen (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f94-waiting-to-try-to-conceive/2653814-never-going-to-happen.html)

HippieLove May 27th, 2013 04:33 PM

Never going to happen
 
Do you ever feel like it's never going to happen? Some days I'm content with waiting but other's I feel like if we wait too long it just won't happen and I want it... so much. We were talking last night and we originally sort of planned for May 2014 to be our TTC date, Maybe Feb at the earliest. But he was saying he thinks with the renovating and what not, we will be super busy for 12 months at least that it won't be the right timing. But in the next breath, he doesn't want to be 45 or older, and thinks if it doesn't happen before he is 45 then he doesn't want to continue trying. He turns 45 in 2017. I guess I'm just worried with my PCOS and everything, the TTC journey might be a long one and it worries me a little bit that it might not happen, then we will run out of time? Do you guys feel that way (not exactly this way) but somewhat this way at all? It's kind of consumed my brain a little bit and I think about it daily. I wish there was a way to get the idea out of my head for at least 12 months because I feel like its slowly turning me crazy :lol:

Jessimaaka May 27th, 2013 07:37 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Yes! With Cam, he was first shot...so a few months earlier than we anticipated. Now, I don't want another August baby since summer in Southern Ontario sucked the big one (I'll take it if its what we're given but its not my ideal!). So we need to balance starting trying again, me being back at work long enough, and not a July/August baby. I think about it every day as well!

irishblessing May 27th, 2013 08:39 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Yes, it does cross my mind. I wouldn't really say I spend any time worrying about it, because I feel what's meant to happen will. But our son took 15 months of TTC to get and I'm a little concerned that if we keep waiting, then try when we actually want to get pregnant right away that it will take a long time again. Which would be frustrating as we have already planned it so the kids are a ways apart but I don't want them too far apart either.

HippieLove May 27th, 2013 09:04 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
exactly... but if we started ntnp in the next few months, I just know it would happen right away and be rotten timing, making life harder for everyone :lol:

Urchin May 28th, 2013 05:59 AM

Re: Never going to happen
 
I think about it a lot. DH and I are pretty sure we want a second child, but we both go back and forth about just having one as well.

Sometimes we both want to start TTC right away, and other times we want to wait years. DH is definitely worse though. I am much easier to sway in either direction.

I do feel like if I want a second, I am going to need to take advantage of one of DH's few "lets have another" moments, or we may just stay at one.. lol

..and although I have no history of fertility issues, I do often feel concerned that we may have a harder time TTC #2 if we wait too long..and that if it takes too long to conceive, we may not peruse having a second child very far.

HippieLove May 28th, 2013 03:47 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
I'm glad I'm not the only one with these feelings. I guess because I've never... really TTCed, or it been a real joyous moment. I know my next pregnancy will be so wanted and it'll be a very happy thing for our whole family. I just assume that it won't happen :lol: It's stupid but it's just my fear... We talked about it last night, if we can get the two extra bedrooms built on and everything, by June 2014, we will start TTC. My best friend is getting married October and I'm her bridesmaid so.. I'm a little iffy on whether I should wait, but if I keep the thinking that we will reevaluate mid next year, I'm at peace with it and not so anxious :lol:

Jessimaaka May 28th, 2013 06:26 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Don't base it on your friend's wedding. My friend decided to wait since she was in my wedding, and she is finally due this coming August. I'm not saying that to scare you, but work on your schedule no one else's - everything will fall into place with the other stuff. If she hadn't waited, they would have found out like 6 months earlier their issues and could have started treatments earlier. Do what is best for your family...besides, preggo bridesmaids are super cute!

HippieLove May 28th, 2013 07:26 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
That's true... Thanks for the input hun :)

Sawyers_Mommy June 1st, 2013 04:52 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Yes sometimes I feel like it's not going to happen. DH informed me yesterday he thinks 4yrs is a good time frame to wait for anymore, maybe 3yrs :eek: Uhhh I don't think so buddy!!!! He said he didn't see why we would want 4 kids back to back. :( I wish we were on the same page, we used to be but he's changed some about it since having our 2nd.

Social Halfwit June 3rd, 2013 03:21 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
I get really anxious that December 1st will get here and DF will say "Oh, no.. never mind". I try to prep him for how life will be next year, when I am pregnant, and he handles it well. Like when we discussed how poopy our St. Paddy's day was this year, and he starts going on and on about how drunk we'll get next year.. I have to go "Well, you might. I'll be the DD and eat some Irish food." and he goes "Oh yeah, huh?"

It's so hard to see so many friends and family announcing pregnancies and knowing it will be another 181 days before we will even be trying. I'm not a patient person, and when I get upset I just want to throw my hands in the air and yell "If we're not doing it now then we might as well NEVER DO IT" and throw a fit. :\

HippieLove June 3rd, 2013 04:25 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Yeah I am worried that his mind might change by the time we get there, or something will happen in between now and then that will put a halt to it...

Urchin June 3rd, 2013 04:50 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
I totally understand the worry about getting close to your TTC date and having DH change his mind! That's why my ticker says "x amount of days until we *might* TTC" ...lol

I hate that. I am a planner. BIG TIME. So feeling like I May be waiting only to have DH change his mind, can be a pain!

Sawyers_Mommy June 4th, 2013 08:36 AM

Re: Never going to happen
 
I like to plan when we would TTC/NTNP too! I hate not knowing if it'll be 4mths from now or 4yrs from now! Even if it was next fall or something That is fine, I just want a month and time frame to look forward too!

AtomicMama June 4th, 2013 01:01 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Definitely don't worry about the wedding, Emma :) I would LOVE if any of my bridesmaids were pregnant at my wedding! And June to October would be just enough time to have a cute little bump, but not be overly uncomfortable pregnant :lol:

I don't know that I worry it won't happen. We are both very sure we want more kids. I sort of worry he will change his mind about being ready next year when next year gets here, though, if that makes any sense? He originally wanted to wait until Spring 2015, but I guess I talked him into Spring 2014? He says he is happy with that, though, so I hope he isn't just trying to make me happy and then will end up backing out next year. I'd rather he tell me now and agree on a time that worked for us both.

HippieLove June 4th, 2013 03:29 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
I asked my friend and she said she didn't mind but her soon to be husband might. I guess we will see. But yeah I'm worried that we will get there and he won't be up for it anymore. He will be another year older and maybe decide he's too old :lol: IDK

tigergumby June 20th, 2013 01:39 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
We have to get a vasectomy reversal first, and can't even begin to afford it, so it looks like it will either be a long time/never before we can have a kid. I'm kind of depressed.

steampunk June 24th, 2013 06:59 AM

Re: Never going to happen
 
It feels like it a lot some days, but only the quiet ones. We have so much to do before we can have a baby it feels like it is going to take forever.

LUSHaye July 7th, 2013 11:46 AM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Over the past month or month and a half, I've been pretty content with waiting. The wait isn't too terribly long, just until the end of the year.
But SO is getting excited and I'm just kind of cruising along. When it gets down to the wire, I'm wondering if I'll be excited or just anxious.
I had told him that they would probably do a paternity test before he could sign the birth certificate since we're not married, and his response was that we need to get married. :rolleyes: Sure.
I'm sure it'll change later, but as of now, I'm content with waiting.

THE angry uterus July 7th, 2013 09:38 PM

Re: Never going to happen
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LUSHaye (Post 27502596)
Over the past month or month and a half, I've been pretty content with waiting. The wait isn't too terribly long, just until the end of the year.
But SO is getting excited and I'm just kind of cruising along. When it gets down to the wire, I'm wondering if I'll be excited or just anxious.
I had told him that they would probably do a paternity test before he could sign the birth certificate since we're not married, and his response was that we need to get married. :rolleyes: Sure.
I'm sure it'll change later, but as of now, I'm content with waiting.

They don't require paternity testing unless paternity is challenged.


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