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-   -   New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?" (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f282-widely-spaced-siblings/2614276-new-here-how-many-times-have-you-heard-planned.html)

appletree January 13th, 2013 02:07 AM

New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
Hi there, New here!
I am 33, I have 2 girls aged 10 and 12.
Now pg with #3 (boy due july 15th)<-planned

Yes, I have had people approach me who have heard that I am pg and actually say "Oh, is it good or bad news?"
I reply "Oh yes this was planned"

I can understand peoples curiosity...but where did peoples manners disappear to? "Was it planned"
What difference does it make, would they send commiserations if so?

My story is, I always wanted another child but dh and I were not in a position to, both with work etc. Finally 10 years later, we were good to go :)

My 12 year old dd is happy but my 10 year old dd isnt impressed with sibling rivalry already.
I have tried to involve her in everything, shes getting there but still semi resistant

I need to read some books on this "how to settle in" period with them :)

anyway nice to meet you :) xxx
Lou

SSGMama January 13th, 2013 02:56 AM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
Try looking into "birth order" too. Your 10 year old is the baby, and now she will be the middle child. Understanding birth order is a big deal. You can tell a lot about a person from where they fall in the family's pecking order.

cheerfulsunrise January 15th, 2013 10:57 AM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
we are in a similiar situation: ds is 14, dd is 12, and new baby is due in June! I also wanted a baby for a long time, but had to wait for a "better" time. Just about everyone we have told has asked us if it was planned. We are all pretty excited !

brymommy March 26th, 2013 01:03 PM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
I'm scared of this happening to us! I've never been quiet in my desire to have a large family (if you call 4 large) but our families are the type to never really be happy when a new child is announced...

sandel07 May 21st, 2013 12:51 PM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
I have been asked this by friends and strangers. My sons are 12 and 14 and my daughter is 8 weeks. They seem a bit embarrassed when I say she was planned, but a surpise after 6 miscarriages.

Spider123 August 11th, 2013 05:57 PM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
My littlest was very much planned. After sticking a thermometer in my mouth at 6 AM every morning for two years, facing the possibility of liquidating my life savings for procedures that might not even have worked, and then trying "one last time" after essentially giving up my dream of having another child, it definitely puts me on the defensive when people assume that he is the result of laziness, ignorance, and promiscuity and scold me for "forgetting" to use birth control.

My ex-baby was 16 when ds was conceived but he had the same issues your 10 year old is dealing with. Being the youngest in the family was part of his identity. He was also overly concerned about my health during the pregnancy.

Once ds was born, things changed; he adores his little brother and my only worry is that he sometimes tries to take on too much of a parental role and needs to be reminded that he has the rest of his life to be a daddy to as many children as he can take care of, but he only has this one chance to be a big brother.

ryleighmom October 9th, 2013 09:47 AM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
I got this question all the time while I was pregnant with my son. My daughter was 15 when he was born. I really thought it was rude when someone phrased it as "was this pregnancy a mistake?" People are so rude!

Boos Moo November 2nd, 2013 09:15 PM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
New here. I'm glad I haven't gotten that question (yet). The closest was 'are you excited'. I think a lot of people just don't think before they speak sometimes.

amberbanegas January 25th, 2014 05:30 AM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
I have NEVER been asked that… I think I would give them a crazy look…

Sweetpgrl8 September 14th, 2014 10:46 AM

Re: New here HOW many times have you heard "Was it planned?"
 
I am pretty sure it will happen to us if we decide to go ahead and have another. I was dead set against any more kids after my ex and I split up, and basically told everyone (quite adamantly) there will be no more children in the future. Now being married to someone else I am open to the possibility. I have two kids who are now 8 and 6. It will be interesting if it happens and when we announce to family and friends. I still think it's rude for others to ask "was it planned". Nobody's business but our own.


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