Happy Birthday Daddy

My dad would have been 61 today. He passed away 5 years ago on April 14th, 2004. He had a massive heart attack while walking our dog that morning. He wasn’t sick, he was just taken from us too soon.

I dreamt about my dad for the first time last night, the first time in just about 3 years. I don’t really dream much, or have dreams I remember I guess I should say, but this dream was so clear. I could Feel my dad there, I woke up feeling like I literally just saw him. I didn’t just dream of his image, I felt like I was actually dealing with him, interacting with him.

The dream was that my dad had hurt his foot, and it was bleeding. I told him he had to go to the hospital. He was a stubborn man and never went to the doctor for anything. I kept saying “DAD! We are going to the hospital, let’s go, we are going”. He didn’t say anything to me, he didn’t speak, but I just kept yelling about the hospital. I could feel his stubborness.

I woke up this morning and my sister called me. She ended up in the hospital last night, a severe panic attack. Her heart rate would jump from 110 to 180 and she couldn’t control it. She told her husband that he needed to call me, that she needed me. He told her that I had worked late and was sleeping, that it would be okay. She told him he had to try to reach me. So he sent me text message around 2:30am. My phone was on vibrate and I didn’t wake up.

I have dreamt about my dad only a handful of times in the 5 years he has been gone. I woke up this morning feeling in shock, I couldn’t figure out why I would dream about him now, I thought maybe because it was his birthday. But after my sister called me, I can’t help but feel it is connected. Why would I dream it was so urgent about going to the hospital, why would I feel like he was truely with me?

I really feel like he was trying to get me to go to the hospital, or give me an idea of what was going on. I have always been the stronger one, emotionally, between my sister and I, and my dad knows that I am the one my sister needs if she has a problem or breaks down.

I told my mom about this and she said she totally understand. She told me that a few months ago when she was really sick, she had a dream she was driving and had to stop because of people just wandering around in the street. She got out of the car and my dad was standing there. She asked him if she could walk with him, and he said okay. They walked for a while and then my dad told her she couldn’t walk with him anymore. My mom told him she wanted to stay with him, to keep walking with him, and he told her no, that he will keep going but that she needed to stay here. When my mom woke up she was running a 105 fever and was rushed to the doctor. She believes that it was Dad’s way of telling her she was very sick, but it wasn’t time for her to go with him yet. I just about lost it when she told me that.

Anyway, this is long, and I am so emotional about all this. My dad is the type of person that wouldn’t show up unless it was needed. For the first time in my life I truely feel he is out there, waiting for us, and that I will see him again one day.

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