Involving Gaby in my pregnancy…

Gaby has had me (basically) all to herself, since the moment she was born – and I know that with the new baby arriving, for the first time in her life, she is going to have to ‘share’ me…  And I want to make sure that I can make the transition as easy as possible for her… I  worry that the baby is going to arrive and she is going to feel second best, or as though the baby is more important than her.  That of course would NOT be the truth – if anything it is going to make her even more important to me, and is going to make me love her all the more…..

I’m trying to involve her in my pregnancy, as much as I can… she’s been to my ultrasounds with me, though the first two she didn’t really ‘understand’ what was happening, because the baby didn’t look like a baby, but this last one she got visibly excited when she saw the baby – looking very much like a baby!  Every now and then I try to explain to her how big the baby is, and what new things it is doing – being that she’s 3,  I don’t go into a lot of detail, but I feel as though if I tell her, it’s another way for her to feel involved – like it’s not some ‘secret big person business’….  When we look at baby clothes & equipment, I always involve her – asking what she thinks the baby will need, and what baby clothes she thinks are the cutest – she gets very animated when we do this, ripping things off the stands, and “oooo-ing” and “ahhh-ing” at how cute various outfits are.  When it came to deciding on the names, I asked her if she liked each of the names – and then let her choose one of the girl’s middle names – so when she’s older, she knows that she was part of naming her…  I also refer to the baby as OUR baby – not Mummy’s baby, not MY baby, but OUR baby…

But then I have to ask myself if there needs to be balance – is talking so much about the baby, making her feel as though the baby is the most important thing going on in our lives at the moment?  She always seems happy to talk about the baby, and generally I take her lead as far as talking about the baby goes.. but perhaps I do need to create some special no-baby-talk-time, take Gaby out for special outtings, do special things with her, where there is NO talk about the baby, NO mention that I’m pregnant – where it is all about her

I guess I need to just follow my instincts, and follow her lead as well… pay attention to how she is when we do talk about the baby.. if she seems grumpy, or not happy, perhaps that would be an indicator to tone things down a bit… but if she is excited and talking about the baby a lot – perhaps that’d be an indicator that I’m doing okay & she feels happy with the way things are……

This isn’t really something I had thought about before I got pregnant… I presumed it’d be a natural progression, and I guess in some ways it IS… but I’m really worried about doing this the right (or wrong) way, and any lasting effect it could have on Gaby…..

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