(Apparently this guy has never been in my kitchen!)
In our case, it seems that the greatest trash is actually found BEHIND our greatest treasures. For example:
- Behind all of our bottles of fancy, good-quality wine, we found not one, not two, but THREE unopened bottles of premixed cocktails a la TGI Fridays circa 2007. Maybe we were anticipating that we wouldn’t be able to handle family life without 750 ml of ready-to-drink Long Island Iced Tea? I guess the good news is that we never had to even crack open the twist-off lid. Although, come to think of it, I can cite more than a dozen occasions that may have been made less painful had I but known that these spirits were lurking in my cabinet.
- I’ve spent a good amount of money on quality kitchen utensils, but I am not above saving every single plastic spoon, knife, or spork I can get my hands on.
- Behind my grandmother’s recipes, my binder of clean eating staples, and “The Joy of Cooking?” A cookbook devoted entirely to recipes requiring Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk. Plus a “Best of Paula Deen” magazine. Tomorrow’s dinner? Eight layer bars and deep fried butter.
- My mom gifted us with new every-day drinking glasses at Christmas, but behind those we kept all the odd-numbered survivors of our old set in all their chipped and cloudy glory. Hey! These will be the perfect receptacles for serving those 3-year-old pre-blended White Russians!
- I discovered that I owned a Butter Boy! Sadly, we had to send him off to a foster family. We have enough kids as it is.
- What’s this behind the blender? Ooooh! Candy! …From the 4th of July parade. Of 2009. Or maybe it was the birthday pinata of 2008? Or the 2nd grade Valentine’s Day party of 2010? One of those.
We ended up relieving ourselves of 3 bags and one box of “discoveries.”
I’m kind of enjoying this journey of discovery. Every time I delve into a cabinet, it’s like opening King Tut’s vault….
or Al Capone’s.