Friday Five: The Opposite of Charlie Sheen

I have been a soldier this week, because despite the fact that I’ve been battling illnesses, exhaustion, and ennui, I still managed to uphold my commitment to my 40 Bags in 40 Days project.  Doing a deep clean is no joke – and I mean that.

Every day, I’ll look around our house and think, “We have too much stuff,” yet when it comes to actually throwing things out or stopping myself from bringing things in, I’m the worst.  While my house is fairly tidy and definitely *clean*, I still get an overwhelming sense of empathy when I watch a show like “Hoarders,” because I think almost everyone can relate to at least one of these rationalizations for being a keeper of stuff:

“I’ll figure out a way to use this one day.”
“I just haven’t had time to get around to this project.”
“I’m saving that for_______________.”
“I know these will fit when I lose those last few pounds.”
“I paid $$$ for this, so I hate to just throw it away.”

In general, this looong, dreary winter of being stuck in our “stuff-y” house has given me the incentive to finally get rid of a lot of things.  So unlike “winner” Charlie Sheen – I have vowed to become a……. “LOSER!!”

1)  Earlier in the week I started in my bathroom, because it seemed easiest.  I don’t have any “befores,” but here are the “afters”:

As you can see, it takes very little for me to achieve the level of beauty I currently maintain.
Baby powder and a couple of pairs of scissors, folks.  Instant gorgeous!

What?  You want a better view of my plumbing? Done!

This new arrangement really shows off my U-joints, no?
There’s a strange mix of liberation and embarrassment when you are disposing of hotel toiletries from a trip you took back in 2004, I tell ya.

2)  After all of this effort, I really wanted to flee the master bedroom and tackle something on the list that was a little less daunting, but remembering my 2011 word – ENDURANCE – I gritted my teeth and entered my nemesis: THE CLOSET.  Here’s the before in all it’s undisturbed glory.

Gosh, why is it so hard to find something to wear in the morning?

Celebrities the world over are currently calling their decorators to achieve this level of quality with their own closets.

Tackling this mess was like walking through a house of horrors.  Uncomfortable fabrics!  Unflattering patterns!  A terrifying array of sizes!  I didn’t let myself get distracted, and I didn’t allow myself to have any irrational conversations in my head.  If it was even a little bit tight or a little bit loose, I showed no mercy: into the bag it went.  I closed my eyes to the shameful amount of unworn items with the tags still on them and shoved them into bags.  Once the bags were filled, I double knotted the tops and took them straight to the garage.  No losers remorse here!
The remains of the day:

Six bags of bad decisions.  Not to mention the three other bags that went straight to the trash!

Drumroll please…..


3) Just a tip:  If you are tackling a stressful project, it’s probably best not to watch “127 Hours” while you are doing it.  Yuck!  “Judge Judy,” however, is the perfect accompaniment.  It’s like fish and white wine.

4)  Wanna know a secret?  I did the whole project in my underwear!  I ended up trying on a LOT of clothes to see what fit and what didn’t, and after changing in and out of what I was wearing a few times, I realized it was easier to just stay unclothed to facilitate the weeding out process.

5) Another plus to purging?  Found money!!!  Here’s my haul for the day after checking pockets and purses:

Fitty dollas, yo!  I’m going to use it to buy more stuff!

I’ll tell you what I AM going to spend it on…another no-chip manicure!  See my nail?   It’s been over a week, and my manicure is still flawless!  My friend Kristi knows of what she speaks!

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  • OK, first off, your “opposite of Charlie Sheen” made me laugh by behind off! Aside from that, I’ve been doing a bit of, um, spot-deep-cleaning, and you have totally inspired me to keep it up! My closet looks a LOT like yours started out looking. I think you just gave me an intervention, LOL.