Visualizing Baby

I am fortunate enough to work for two amazing chiropractors, Dr. Dawn Cadwallader and Dr. Rob Cadwallader.  They came into my life by way of a friend, Jess.  Jess and I went to high school together.  Jess and I didn’t like each other very much…well, at all… in high school.  There was a boy involved, and it’s really not a very interesting story looking back on it 15 years later.  Jess and I reconnected about 4 years ago.  She knew I was looking for a job and let me know that a new chiropractic office she was working for was hiring for front desk.

I applied, interviewed, and waited…. and waited…. and called…. and called… and waited.

In January 2008, my husband and I were on a trip to San Francisco when I got the call.  They wanted to interview me again.  Two weeks later, I was working for Pro Health Chiropractic.

It is the hardest job I have ever had – the hardest but the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.  I was introduced to concepts that I had never been introduced to before.  Words like “Universe,” ”Enneagram,” “Visualize,” and “Manifest.”  I’m still hesitant to talk to a lot of friends and family about these concepts, because they are not the mainstream and I’ve always been a peacemaker.  I don’t make waves.

I have had personal training and life coaching from both of these doctors that not everyone may understand, but it’s the best thing that could have happened to me.  I’ve come to realize what my role is in this thing we call “Life.”  I create whatever I want out of my life.  It can’t come from someone else.  I am the only one who can concentrate and put all I have into who I BE.

Last weekend, Pro Health gave a seminar for a healthy lifestyle challenge we are doing for our patients.  My boss, life coach, and dearest friend Dr.Dawn gave a talk on Visualization.  Concurrently, we are reading a book as a part of training at the office called, “Manifesting Change: It Couldn’t Be Easier.”  Both the seminar and the book shed more light on visualizing the end result – focusing on your end result and not focusing on all of the steps and the hows of how you are going to get there, but knowing what you want in the end.

I realized while listening to this incredible woman speak that I had failed to carry over the training I had gotten from work into my personal life.  Going through all of the paperwork and books and steps of how to get from point A to point B in the adoption game, I forgot what the real focus should be on: my end result… my baby.

I had been fearful in the past of preparing our home too early for baby.  There was a fear of having a constant reminder of what we didn’t have if we had a room dedicated as a nursery.  I was always afraid of walking through the baby section in stores and imagining what it would be like to pick some of those precious things out.

Why?  Why would I be so afraid of that?  I have to admit, walking through Babies R Us with Tony showing him the ideas I had of getting a pack and play so we could have something in the house… just in case… was difficult, yet somewhat comical.  I felt a little awkward having a flat tummy picking out baby stuff.  All your life, I think you picture it quite differently… I think if one of those ladies in the store who were so beautifully pregnant would have complained about something, Tony thought I would have decked her and given her a piece of my mind.  (Though I may talk about doing that, I never would.  In all honesty, I’m insanely jealous of all of you beautiful round ladies complaining of swollen feet and back pain. You don’t know how envious I am of you and how much I wish I could feel your pain. As wrong as that may sound… it’s true.)

I decided a few days later that, in order for me to fully visualize my end result, I needed something tactile.  I went to Target in search of something small that would just be a reminder to me of what the end result of all of this paperwork and planning was.  I hadn’t talked to Tony about the purchase of anything baby related, so I wanted to keep it small and practical.  I walked from blankets to sleepers to bibs back to blankets.  For anyone wondering, “gender neutral” doesn’t exist.  There are yellow and green things, but do you think if you have a boy or a girl you’re going to dress them in anything neutral?  Probably not.  ANYWAYS… I picked out a pack of four receiving blankets that were as neutral as I could find.  I had walked the aisles several times.  Just when I thought the blankets were all I’d find,  I looked up and saw the perfect bibs.  They were blue, green, and yellow.  The first one I picked up said, “Star of Mommy’s Blog.”  The second one said, “Input” (with an arrow pointing up) and “Output” (with an arrow pointing down).

I have the “Mommy’s Blog” bib hanging on the small light above my computer.  The blankets are in my bedroom so I can look at them every night and remember that my end result in this game is baby.  I can’t wait to swaddle my new son or daughter in those thought blankets.

I can just see it…….

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