To try again, or not to try again?

As I always do after a loss, I’ve been questioning whether or not I want to risk going through another miscarriage. A good friend and I were talking about it last night, and I think I’ve decided.

I probably will risk it again. Chris really wants a living (biological) child, and it wouldn’t be very fair of me to flat out refuse that option. I couldn’t ask him to get snipped knowing how badly he wants a child, and I’m never doing hormonal birth control again.

The losses are hard on me, yes, but they’re hard on him too. After all he’s done for me, I can’t not take his feelings into consideration. Are his feelings more important? No. But, likewise, mine don’t outweigh his either. I have no right to take away his chance at a biological child.

That being said, I will continue to try (or at least not prevent) for a while still. Since I lost my left fallopian tube with this pregnancy, the risk of another ectopic is just the same as everyone else’s risk. At this point, the risk is the same as it was before we conceived the twins.

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  • I say go for it. I have had 7 miscarriages. Believe me, I know how stressful and trying it can be to either not get pregnant and have it consume your world, or even worse, to get pregnant and then spend your every waking moment analyzing your symptoms, running to the bathroom to check for blood, or trying not to be excited at any milestones you are reaching successfully. I know this is hard for both of you. But success only comes with perseverance. Oh and so you know, I have a beautiful son and daughter because I refused to take no for an answer and kept trying. I hope I can bring you some hope. Best of luck!

  • I just had a miscarriage on Friday. It was my first one. I am so heartbroken over it. All I want to do is cry. I thought about trying again right away, and would like to, but I’m having problems with my S.O. He actually told me he was happy that I miscarried and has been making it a point to bring up a vesectomy every chance that he can get. He plans on going in for one soon. Does anybody have any ideas as to how to get him to understand how upset I am and that his constant reminders of what he wants to do is hurting me even more.