Tis’ The Season!

To be completely honest, the last thing I thought I would be doing for the holidays this year was praying to get through them.  After last year’s struggle, I thought for sure that it was the last year that Tony and I would spend the holidays as just the two of us.   I thought we would have a little family this year.

Secretly throughout the year, I planned the family photo for the Christmas card and the “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament, stocking and outfit.

But, here we are, three weeks away from Christmas, and I’m sad to report that we have no news.

We’ve had a year filled with ups and downs.  We’ve cried over the what-ifs, almost’s and one situation we thought was a sure thing.  We have come to learn that in the world of adoption, there really are not almost’s and there are certainly no sure things.  It is filled with what-ifs and unknowns that Tony and I never thought we would have to face 10 years ago when we met, or 5 years ago when we got married.  No one plans for infertility.

We have gutted and remodeled what used to be a spare bedroom in our home.  It is now a nursery complete with furniture and themed bedding.  We’ve stocked up on baby books, diapers, and our car seat is ready to go!  This year has brought a lot of preparation for baby.

But, right now, the crib is a slightly large cat bed that Murphy loves spending time in and the diapers are tucked away in a drawer so I don’t have to see them every time I walk through the room.

In a season where we remind ourselves what we are thankful for and count our blessings, it has been easier for me to think of what I don’t have.  But when I stop and correct my thoughts, I think of all we have been blessed with and I get overwhelmed with emotion.

We want to thank our family and friends.  Without your prayers, thoughts, and love, we would not be where we are today.  We love you all so much, thank you!  We wish all of you and your families a happy and healthy holiday season!

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  • I know just what you are saying, because I could have written this word for word… except it does get better and you WILL have a baby. I know this because as I write to you my son is sleeping (finally!) in his crib next to me, and the journey has been harrowing and depressing, and totally miraculous. Thank you for sharing.