The Last Time…

Breastfeeding can be hard…but working and breastfeeding is e.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g.

It requires that I get up earlier to start my day, scramble to find time to pump twice while at work, wash and prepare pumping supplies, and constantly worry about trying…desperately…to keep up with Squishy Baby.

It is easy to get frustrated and tired and irritated and negative and complain-y about it. I was thinking about all this when I ran across a blog post about The Ache.

The perspective of remembering that this is the last time in my life that I will have such a noble and meaningful role for my body, that this is the last time that I will have squishy little hands playing with my hoodie strings while chugging away, that this the last time that I will be needed so much by a little person, that this is the last time that a gummy little smile will peek up at me in the middle of a meal and let milk run down my sides…that perspective has helped me feel a bit better about all this. B and I are 99.99% sure that Spark is our last rugrat, and remembering that this is the last time in my life that I will breastfeed definitely makes it more doable…even though it is bittersweet.

My bare minimum goal was 6 months…that is this Saturday (!). My real goal is to get to 1 year. I think if I can make it to the end of the school year that I can easily make it to August for Spark’s 1 year birthday. I have no idea what RAGBRAI will look like — if we are still going strong in the nursing department, I don’t want RAGBRAI to be the end of it. So, it might mean pumping on RAGBRAI, which could be interesting.


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