I haven’t blogged on JustMommies in quite some time. My kids and I have been through a lot together and over the years. I have learned more and more how important it is to be a positive parent. The world is filled with negativity and mommy sets the example. One of my 2019 New Year’s Resolutions is to be a better influence on my kids and set the tone for self-love and positivity. It makes a difference. For fun, I call my positive energy “blue energy“. All my kids know about it.
Positively Praise them!
When my daugther comes home with her honor roll report card she looks to mom for praise. I am so proud of my daughter Lyndsey Lou Lou and how much she has grown and matured. She started out as a shy homeschooled child and has totally blossomed in public school. She makes excellent grades and I couldn’t be more proud of her. The problem is… She doesn’t hear it enough. Mission one for me: praise my kids more!
Positively listen to them!
Some of this is common sense mom stuff, but being an active listener means not just hearing what they say but making them feel listened to. Shutting off my phone, tuning it to their feelings, and making time to just listen. When my kids get home from school they don’t want to hear about my day, they want me to listen to theirs. So this little tiny thing I am doing more of.
Positively spend time with them!
I am always working on one thing another, whether it is fitness, or JustMommies, or PTO, or my hobbies, but sitting down and watching a movie is hard for me. I have a smidge of ADHD and my kids get frustrated when I don’t pay attention to a movie that they want me to watch. It might seem like a no-brainer but my new goal is to turn off the phone, turn off work, and actively spend time with them. Watching a movie is easy-peasy. We are definitely going to have more of that in 2019.
Positively set the tone for self love
I am into fitness and nutrition. My kids have watched me “diet” in one way shape or form over the years. While they always compliment my appearance, I have set a terrible example with loving your body. When my kids ask me “Am I fat“. The answer should always be no, you are beautiful and you have a beautiful body. What my kids hear and what my kids see are two different things. One of my goals for this year is to eat more meals together as a family and set a better example for eating healthy and self love. Kids learn from their parents. I want my children to always love their body and feel beautiful. I want my children to know that beauty from the inside and not the outside. I want my kids to love themselves, and be themselves, and be happy just the way they are.
Positively parent them
One thing I know is that my kids, and probably most kids, respond better to positivity than negativity. While I do believe that kids need consequences, what my kids need most is positive rewards and mom’s praise for good behavior. Jan Roberts explains this very well in her article about leading by example. It is something I am actively working on. Mom sets the tone. When mom is positive, the kids are happier.