Category Grief & Loss

Miss Layla Grace

I’m not one to blog about other people or other people’s kids but today I am. My heart hurts today for the Marsh family. They lost their precious 2 year old little girl, Layla Grace, to Stage 4 Neuroblastoma. I don’t know that the parents can truly understand the extent in which Miss Layla Grace…
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The comfort of community

I realized yesterday just how incredibly blessed I am.  I am surrounded by women who understand my pain and with whom I feel an incredible bond of sisterhood and community.  I am devastated for each one of them that they know what it is like to be a bereaved mother, but I am so glad…
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March

March has always been a fun month for my family.  There’s a lot of Irish heritage on my mother’s side, and she has red hair, so she’s always been proud of it.  The green takes over the house in March. My oldest brother has auburn hair, and when he was in 6th grade he was…
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Happy 90th Birthday

Today my Grandmother would have been 90 years old.  She wanted to live to see this birthday.  She talked about it all the time, until she couldn’t talk any longer.  She always talked about her brother Paul, who lived to be 92.  I often wonder if she still thought about it after she had her…
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Disappointment

There are times when I find it difficult to talk to “normal” women.  When you get a group of mothers together the talk invariably turns to childbirth and everyone starts comparing birth stories.  I have delivered 3 babies so I have more than enough material to participate…until they start talking about what disappointed them about…
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First birthdays

I just finished writing a post on my other blog for my son since it is his first birthday today.  And I have to take a moment to reflect on Cora’s first birthday.  Part of me thought that I wouldn’t have this little sadness today, since I’ve already done a living child’s first birthday and…
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What not to say

Just wanted to add a list of things not to say to someone going through a loss, and reasons why. ~ “Maybe there was something wrong with the baby.”  ((In the end, they would gladly take a baby with disabilities over no baby at all.)) ~”God has a plan.” ((DO NOT say anything about God…
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A loss is a loss

I must admit, it sort of always bothers me to have women who have miscarriages to talk about Cora’s stillbirth and say “Oh, I can’t imagine what that was like,” or “I thought this was hard, it must be worse for you.”  If it truly makes them feel better, well, fine.  But in the end,…
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Brodie – 6 years on

February 22 2004, we got the tragic news that my nephew – Brodie, had passed away – from SIDS.  At the time my sister was living 3 hours away, and the hardest thing in my life – besides learning of Brodie’s death, and my Grandfather’s death – was not being able to run to my…
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The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

((I found this in a newsletter for The Compassionate Friends that I was given shortly after Cora died.  I’ve read it many times since, just to remind myself that things are “okay” for me to feel. I just wanted to share it.)) The Mourner’s Bill of Rights By Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD 1. You have…
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