Category Grief & Loss

Cora’s stocking

We put up Christmas yesterday.  I’ve posted about Cora’s stocking before, but this time was a little different.  Erin was helping me, and she’s a lot more aware about things this year.  She asked me what Santa would put in Cora’s stocking, and why there were envelopes in it.  So I told her that Santa…
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Breaks my heart

I just made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies with Erin.  After everything was all mixed up, she got out a book and stuff and started to pretend to make her own cookies.  Gingerbread men. With her cousins…and Cora. I hate that to play with her sister she has to pretend.  I LOVE that she knows her…
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Holidays

I find holidays hard.  And I don’t think I’m ever going to get over it.  I became pregnant with Erin in October of 2006, about 5 months after Cora died, so I was pregnant through Cora’s would-be first holiday season.  But honestly, I found no comfort in it because I knew from experience that pregnancy…
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Three-Pronged Update

Twin Grief The last month and a half have been hard grief-wise.  The twins were due August 19th.  When you consider my family history of premature births and the fact that twins are often early anyway, it’s pretty safe to say I’d have two babies that were more than a month old already. Reminders seem…
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First birthdays

I don’t know why first birthdays are so hard.  This is the 4th time I’ve done a first birthday, the 3rd with a living child. We did cupcakes & presents with friends today for Allison.  Her birthday isn’t actually until Monday, but today worked best.  Anyway, I was totally in the moment while IN the…
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Cooking with Cora

Both Erin and Patrick love to cook with me, and I have often wondered if Cora would have too.  It’s made me sad, on occasions, that I spend so much time in the kitchen and there’s nothing in there of her.  Well, I found a way.  I decided a while back that since I have…
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The hole she left

I’ve been watching the show Doctor Who on Netflix.  A couple days ago, I was watching the episode, “The Doctor’s Daughter.”  The Doctor and company had ended up on a planet where they were immediately taken captive, and the Doctor’s hand was shoved into a machine where a tissue sample was taken, his DNA was…
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Mothering Through Loss and Heartache

Featured Writer: Sandy Bruce Welcome to our second mom story in our series beYOUtiful Mom! I lay in bed with tears flowing down my cheeks as my 2 year old sobbed and asked again where daddy was and when he was coming home.   It had only been a week since an accident took his life suddenly,…
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If Only I’d Known.

I have often regretted not going to the hospital Cora’s last night, when I was at work and a coworker offered to take my place so I could go in because I told her I felt “off” – especially after looking at the ultrasound from 23 weeks and it becoming painfully obvious that her cord…
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The other Cora

There’s another angel Cora that is special to me. Her name is Cora McCormick. Cora died at 5 days old due to an undetected congenital heart defect.  Sadly, a very simple test could have detected it and saved Cora’s life.  It’s called a pulse oximetry test (the little white plastic thing put on the tip…
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