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January 8th, 2006, 10:10 AM
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Rina42308 Rina42308 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Hi sweetie...i am sorry asbout your m/c...i saw your post and replied on the other board. I just found out I am pg. I am only like 3 weeks along. Anyway I've had 2 m/c's but lost 3 babies because my second m/c were twins. After the second m/c my b/f and I went through testing to find out if there was anything wrong. my dr found that I had a uterine septum and performed surgery to remove it in Sept. It's a condition where there is tissue dividing the cavity of the uterus not allowing enough blood flow for the babies to survive. After the surgery was completed and he declared it a success he said it was the largest septum he had ever seen and that I would no way have been able to carry a baby to term with it. My dr then told me not to get pg for 3 has been exactly 3 months Dec. 21...i conceived you can see I wasted no time ...what I wanted to say to you is that I know m/c is a confusing heartbreaking time...i have had 10 months to deal with all of this...I have been at the bottom of the barrell in regards to my feelings about myself...I have wondered if I am even destined to ever have a child. Like you I want a family so badly. After my first m/c I thought getting pg right away would fill the pain that I was made the second m/c so much harder. I just want to encourage you to give yourself some time to mourn...even if just a day...maybe write your baby a letter or do something to commemorate her/his exisitence. i recommend this because it will help you ahve some bit of closure to all that has happened...I'm not saying the worry or pain will ever go away but it lessens in time and I found the best way to deal with it was to do just that DEAL with it. In some ways I thank God I had to wait all these months before ttc gave me the much needed time to grieve. Everyone is different so i'm not saying you have to wait as long as I did but I do highly suggest dealing with your loss and not "repalcing" it (for lack of a better word) with another pg. this way when you do get pg again you will not have anything too major creeping up in the back of your head regarding the last loss.
After 2 m/c you better believe I am on pins and needles. i don't know that I will ever relax. Every twinge scares me. I am hoping that my pg is successful...and praying. that's all I can do i guess. I'm not yet ready to give up on my dream of my own child.
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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