Topic: Can I ask?
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August 24th, 2008, 08:42 AM
Blondzilla Blondzilla is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
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First of all, I went through the same thing with my bio father. His response to my mother's announcement that she was pregnant was to tell her "I know a doctor that can take care of that!". He never wanted me nor has he expressed interest in me or his grandchildren. I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO WARRANT THAT NOR DID YOU!!!!! I can't stress that enough! I spent 5 years in therapy dealing with that and a history of sexual abuse (my grandfather) and the one thing that I finally learned is that I was a child and did nothing to cause what these men did to me therefor I am not the one to blame....THEY ARE! You have to believe that! I met my father when I was 20 and although to my face he seemed to want a relationship with me, once I was gone, he lost interest. I lived about 200 miles from him at the time and drove up to meet him...would gladly have driven up again and again to develop a relationship with him but he didn't want it. HIS loss, not mine! I have no idea if he is alive still or what he is doing nor do I have any interest in finding out. I just don't care about him. He is not my adopted father is! I may be related to Donald by genetics but that is all. He's no more a father than a sperm donor would be and I am not his daughter--I am JIM'S daughter! I can't tell you how freeing it is when you finally accept that the rejection has nothing whatsoever to do with you as a person but everything to do with the flawed personality of the bio-father who rejects you. I am so thankful that I did not inherit that particular flaw from him and that I am capable of loving someone completely. You should be thankful as well! To me, it's a defect on their part, much the way sociopathy is and closely related. Those of us who are rejected by these creatures as well as our children who are rejected by their fathers, are so much better off without them. I truly wish sometimes that my ex would completely reject my daughter so that I would not have to watch her repeatedly try to win his love and make him proud, only to be shot down once again. I'd love for my new husband to have been able to adopt her and make her his own...but the ex won't allow that. It's much more rewarding for him to simply torture her every few months.
And you are absolutely right. He IS less of a man becaue he rejected you!
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