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January 16th, 2006, 09:48 AM
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iamkc iamkc is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Montana
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I have a very hard time understanding what must go through people's heads when they feel the urge to tell someone that their pain is for the better. If they've ever been through any iota of pain in their lives, you can bet those same people would all but punch you to the ground if you said the same to them. I'm sorry for the insensitivity you've dealt with after your losses. Old, young, far along, just pregnant--a loss is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. It means that the next time you get pregnant, you cheat yourself out of the excitement of one of the most thrilling events in one's life. Ugh...people make me sick.

I got pregnant when I was 25...a "surprise." It lasted for 21 1/2 weeks (or so), but the baby was struggling, as was I. Still no idea what happened. I was told that it was just a fluke. Immediately afterward, we started trying and have had at least 2 more miscarriages and one chemical pregnancy, but we and our doc are guessing that it's more. I found out in December that I was pregnant again, after 25 months TTC. I'm 28 now. If this little one makes it (7w1d today, u/s tomorrow), I'll be 29 when it's born.

We didn't tell anyone that we were TTC because we didn't want to deal with what you've had to and others' undoubtedly well-intentioned advice that would make us want to dig a nice, deep, comfy hole for them. We've not told anyone that we have been pregnant, and we won't tell anyone about this one for quite a while. Still, we'll surely have someone tell us that we're too young, too poor, not at the right time in our lives, etc. Those will be the people we don't spend much time around while we're getting through this.

Again, I'm so sorry that you've dealt with the ignorance of others in a most painful time. I hope that this pregnancy is going much better for you and that you're nothing but over-the-moon. You deserve that.

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