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January 18th, 2006, 05:51 PM
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Rina42308 Rina42308 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Norina I do not know you very well, but here is my 2 cents. It sounds to me like your BF has a lot of excuses. When ever you have something you need, it comes to an excuse. I hope you will take care of yourself. You don't need him to be sucessful in therapy. You can only change your own behavior not his. I think that with a therapist you will be able to focus on you and gain some of your power back. I hope you will not give up on you. You have been though so much and focusing on you and healing is not a selfish thing. B [/b]
Thanks B...I am in therapy individually...have been for over 2 years now. I wanted us to attend couples therapy in an effort to become a really strong couple and be good parents for our baby. He is so full of excuses, you are right. the problem with him is that he cries wolf so much I don't know when to believe him. That's part of something I was hoping to work through in therapy. I stuggle between being understanding and desiring that my own needs be least sometimes ya know? I know the sicknes thing isn't a farce but today it's the illness and before the illness it was what? him being a plain committment phobe. I frustrate myself I swear. I am planning on letting him know I don't want to have a "family mtg" with his dumb ***** (oops did I say that??) family until we can sit down and discuss it with a therapist first...honestly I don't trust he will entirely protect me because he is so strangely immeshed with them. he says he will but he isn't always a man of his word. We went to church last week and that was the theme...keeping your word. he took it to heart then but today...guess it's power wore off? He seems to feel that work, coaching basketball, and his family all come before me...if I'm gonna have his baby and this relationship is going to work am I being realistic to be the #1 priority in his life...that OUR family be that? maybe I'm asking too much too soon and he needs an adjustment period? We're suppose to go looking for a place to live together this weekend...*sigh* I feel a bit discouraged again.
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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