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September 24th, 2008, 01:50 PM
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EricsMom EricsMom is offline
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 585
Well today is CD14, day 12 of injections. Had my b/w and u/s this morning. The Dr. who did the u/s said not much had changed - I still have 4 small follies on the right and 12 small follies on the left (up from 6 on Tues) but no dominant ones. She said my lining also isn't as thick as it should be. She didn't see how we could keep going much longer but she wanted to speak with my Dr. and see what my estrogen was before making a decision. She didn't think my estrogen would be much higher than it was on Tues. based on the u/s. Needless to say I was really upset coming in to work. I was just starting to feel positive about all this (something I try not to do because I'm a pessimist) and now it sounds like this cycles a bust (and my clinic only does a max of 6 injectible cycles).

I just got off the phone with the nurse and my estrogen was 955 - almost double the 527 it was on Tues. I should be elated. I have to take the same dose of Gonal-F tonight and go back for b/w only tomorrow. All that being said, I'm just physically and mentally exhausted. If I closed my eyes for 2 minutes I'd be sleeping at my desk. I have a headache and just feel completely blah today. On top of that, my car is in the shop and will probably cost $900 by the end of the day (and I have no idea yet how I'm paying for that) and my healthcare plan seems to have lost the last claim form I sent in and I should have had that $1000 back this week so if I do need more injectibles I'll probably have to borrow from my inlaws.

I just feel rotten today. I'm trying to change my pessimistic attitude but I'm starting to realize that the reason I never let myself get too excited about things is because it hurts that much more when the letdown comes. I know that's no way to live life, I guess it's just the way I'm dealing with stuff now. Besides, this is my blog and I can write what I want.

Some days I feel like such a failure in life in general and I know this journey is not helping that. I can't help focusing on my age. DH will be 40 in Nov. Financially we are not where we want to be, I can't say I really like my job, my weight is a huge issue, the list goes on and on. I think I'm rambling just to vent a little now. Every day my DS wants to know if there's a baby in my tummy.

Again, I think I'm just really tired now. Oh well, that's what this blog is for, right? To vent the successes and failures of this horrifically wonderful journey that no one should have to go through.

Back to work now . . . .
~~~ Candie ~~~

Actively TTCMA #2 Again (10 yrs total TTC'ing #2 in various stages of MA and NTNP)

Me (40) Annovulatory, PCOS, IR and Type 2 Diabetes, DH (47), DS (11)

"Learning to have faith, think positively, believe in myself and trust in God."
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