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December 5th, 2008, 05:49 AM
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CaseyM CaseyM is offline
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So the cyst has gone down to about 5cm and that's great news. But that also means that I still have a couple of weeks to deal with, if that's the rate of decline..I guess that I will just deal with it as it goes. We will do another u/s after AF comes and goes to check on it. But no more clomid for me.....

DH can be a real ahole sometimes. So I wasn't going to say anything about this so that it didn't come out wrong, but I have to explain that....I found out yesterday that my littlest sister (the one with an almost 2yo) is expecting another. She got prego this cycle and is due at the begininng of August next year. She didn't want to tell me because it was another "whoops" type situation, but I'm happy for her. But not for myself. So last night after the doc called and told me BFN, I lost it. I was really upset and crying and everything. (PMS, I guess). DH asked what was wrong and I told him that it wasn't fair. That people that want to have babies can't and people that are not trying can. He told me not to wrory, maybe I wouldn't see AF this time and I told him that was why the doc was calling to tell me the blood test came back negative. He said oh and sorry but don't worry about it. Then he proceeded to tell me "What did you expect? You only have half and I only have 1 working, so did you really think that it would work?" and "Well, God made us this way and we have to deal with it." ANd then the fighting ensued....I asked him how he could say that after just saying that maybe I wouldn't have AF and he just said nothing. Then he tried telling me that I should use a donor or have my sister carry for me. I told him that the carrying isn't the issue. It's just getting to that point. That's why the IUI was a good idea. Then he started about how that was just more money that the doc could get out of us, etc etc etcI stopped talking to him for a while. Then he asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. And that made him upset again because he knew something was wrong. This went on for a while. Then I went to bed. He came in and started talking to me again, asking what was wrong, etc etc etc...I tried talking to him and all I got out of him was "Well, maybe it's just not meant to be." I asked him what had changed his mind, because a few months ago he was all gungho about the IVF....Then he made the mistake of telling me that I obssess about it too much. That that's all I think about. 90% TTC and 10% work. never about him. So I told him that that's how I feel about him, that he's not thinking of me either, so what's the difference. (I know that wasn't right, but I was so mad by now). So now I'm not supposed to talk about it at all. No mention of babies or conceiving or anything. I go to the doc to get my cyst checked and my physical and that's all. So now I am under the assumption that all he wants to do now is adopt. We talked about that as our last option, only if the IVF failed. But no I don't think he even wants to do that....Says it'll be April before he will be able to get to the lab for testing, etc etc etc.....I'm sorry this is so long. I just needed to get it out before I start crying again when I see a commercial about babies or testing or anything.....I'm glad I have you guys here to ya!

Love to share pics on my facebook....

casey cochran melanson
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