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December 6th, 2008, 02:50 PM
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justjaQ justjaQ is offline
Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
aw, michelle... i followed your link from AP, and i feel awful, reading your story here. i had some similar problems in my hospital births, and it's just so disgusting. i don't want anything to do with OBs and hospitals anymore.

my first child, i arrived in horrible pain, and was forced to sit in the hallway while the nurse effed around, and finally i had to ask for a room, so that people weren't staring at me as i moaned and sweated all over myself, etc. i asked for an epidural, but was told no~ without checking me, i was told that i wasn't far enough. then my water broke, and they discovered that i was 6-7 cm, and FINALLY they put me in my room. i told them that i had to push, and was told, "no, not yet, hon." i WAS complete, and my son was born just minutes later. i said no to an episiotomy, and was given one anyway. they cut the cord themselves, whisked the baby away before i could even LOOK at him, and kept him separate from me in the corner of my room for 45 minutes, until my huge, intimidating step-dad went and ######ed the nurses out, and told them they would be sorry if i didn't get my son immediately.

with my daughter, i was stuck in my bed, not allowed to to even sit up straight, because of the !#@$*^%*@#& heart moniter and it's oh-so-important reading. they paid no attention to it anyway. they knew i had delivered my firstborn in unde 2.5 hours, yet ordered pitocin and broke my water, so that my doctor could fit in my delivery before his lunch!!!! my girl was born after 30 minutes of active labour. i was denied an epidural again, because they didn't get off their butts and order it in time (i'll be having home births in the future, so no epidurals for me anyway~ at least i know i am strong enough to go without, right?). i was forced to stay two nights in the hospital, because they didn't get my my GBS antibiotics in time. morons. i was not allowed to so-cleep with her~ they caught us sleeping together, and they took her and stuck her in her bassinet thingie. they also criticied my breastfeeding, and referred to me as a "firsttime breastfeeding mom". someone didn't do their homework.
they would not let me in the tub at all, and refused to give me a catheter, even though i was swollen shut, and had to pee so badly i was nearly in tears.

so, i can absolutely relate to:

I don't know what rape feels like but I now know what it's like to be forced to spread your legs to people who don't care how you feel. You object about something you don't want done to you but you don't matter as you're just the woman with her legs open, in the most vulerable position you've ever been in being mocked and ridiculed for speaking up. Is it really any wonder why some people can't move on? I truly understand why some women have unassisted homebirths. I don't want to be raped like that again.[/b]
giving birth isn't the most dignifying moment of a woman's life, but we do it for our children, and then we get this kind of treatment, from people who just want to get their jobs done. it's repulsive, revolting. it's north american in the new millenium, but you sure wouldn't know it!

i was LAUGHED at by a nurse, when i begged for an epidural at 10 cm. i knew that it was too late to get one, but i was in the most pain i'd ever been in, and she had the nerve to laugh at me. was a simple, "just push, it's almost over, honey," REALLY so difficult?

i could go on and on, if i really thought about it, but it's painful for me, and irritating, to bring back these memories. it's really sad, and i HATE that i have such a hard time thinking about what could have been such beautiful days. they WERE beautiful, they were the first times i met my sweet babies... but my hospital experiences, they ruined these irreplacable moments, and i hate thinking about them, to be honest. unfortunately... you are not alone, and i don't look down on you for a moment, for having a hard time getting past your treatment, because i feel the same way.

midwife attended home water births for our future babies!!!!
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child

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