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March 28th, 2009, 05:50 PM
17sparkles 17sparkles is offline
Mommy to a Princess!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 483
Hi there, I am a FIM.

I think that sometimes, if someone is quick to offer to do things, people can just think that the person doesn't mind if they aren't told otherwise.

Failed cycles can be extremely frustrating for SM's and IP's and I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. It sucks and there are just so many emotions that are associated with them. For you and then from your IP's. They have probably had a long journey to get to where you guys are and it's really easy to loose hope and stay positive. I am not saying that what is going on is all their fault or yours, it's just the nature of the situation that you guys are all in. Surrogacy is not always easy and sometimes IP's look at surrogacy as their saving grace.

I think that you and your IM are incredibly brave to do the home insems the way that you are doing. As you said, she is not a Dr. and I can be honest and say that I wouldn't have been able to do that if I were doing TS. But in a way, you are helping her to be more a part of the process and no matter how hard and awkward it is, try not to forget that and how important it is that you are including your IM.

I really do think that you should start to talk about some of your feelings. I know that a cancelled cycle is so disappointing but at the same time, you don't know what's really going on with your IP's from the lack of communication. Maybe they are sad or discouraged and are losing hope. That's why as a team it is so important to support one another. They probably don't realize what is going on and I know that's disappointing but they are only human. There are going to be bumps in this journey - sometimes big ones, sometimes small ones but it's how you all handle it as a team that's important. If you keep the little things in and you hit a big bump, your whole relationship is in jeopordy.

Hang in there and I hope that things will get better. That BFP will make all of these bumps worth it.

Thank you Amy (dizneenut) for my gorgeous siggy!!!!
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