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May 20th, 2009, 10:15 AM
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TanyaM TanyaM is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,304
As Trace's 4th birthday approaches, I find myself drawn here to see the little angels. I was looking at our angel pictures and started to break down. WHY? WHY ME? WHY US? We did everything right. We loved our babies. I took care of myself. Why can't they be here today? I am missing my son so much right now. I look at my youngest dd and wonder, where have the last 4 yrs gone? It has all gone by so quickly, yet that moment is still so fresh on my mind. I went to the Dr. last week for a physical and realized that I was never going to go there pregnant again. All I could think of while I was there was of all the times I went there with all three of my pregnancies and listened to my babies heart beats. The absolute greatest sound in the world. Then my mind wandered to when that doppler heard nothing. Silence. And the u/s that showed a heart that was no longer beating. Trace, my son, I love you and miss you so. I look forward to the day we meet again and I can hold you in my arms.

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