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May 28th, 2009, 08:02 PM
grlpisces's Avatar
grlpisces grlpisces is offline
Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
I found it very, very difficult to concentrate fully on Noah when I finally did hold him. I had a C-section just two hours prior so that both Noah and Julia could be delivered. I was recovering back in the very delivery room they had checked me into when the perinatologist told me he couldn't find Noah's heartbeat. I was in a horrible frame of mind because I didn't expect to deliver two months early let alone hear that my son was dead.

* I wish I had known about NILMDTS.
* I wish I had more time to hold Noah (there was a limit because we had elected to have an autopsy performed on him).
* I wish I had taken pictures of ALL of him and not just his blanket-wrapped body.
* I wish I had his handprints; his hands and fingers were perfect.
* I wish I got to bathe him, to dress him, to kiss him more than I did
* I wish I didn't have to hear my OB tell the Anesthesiologist "call it" followed by the Anesthesiologists announcement of "10:41 a.m." I vividly remember that detail in the OR; it was when my OB delivered Noah.

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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