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January 2nd, 2010, 10:12 PM
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EricsMom EricsMom is offline
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 585
I've avoided JM for a year now, except a periodic peak here and there. I just re-read my blog from a year ago and so many emotions come flooding back. After the failed injections cycle my RE told me to lost 40lbs before proceeding with the next round. I expected it, but the cycle itself had taken it's toll on me. I never did lose that 40 lbs although I've half-heartedly attempted it many times.

I desperately want to be pregnant again, my soul aches for it. At the same time I get too wrapped up in depression to do what I need to get healthy.

Our journey has taken a new turn. DH and I have decided to adopt a child in foster care. We met with the social worker in Oct. and have since started researching and reading up on the special challenges child in foster care face. Our education classes start this week and continue through April. Although I struggled with the decision to adopt at first (because I don't want to give up on the idea of another biological child) I'm definitely excited now and looking forward to this new chapter in our journey to expand our family. I hope that by the time we have a child placed with us, my health will be where it needs to be and then maybe we can look at TTC'ing #3 biologically. I hope that by focusing on the adoption I will take the pressure off myself to "have to lose weight in order to get pregnant" and I'll be able to concentrate on creating a new healthy lifestyle. Our homestudy will be in the summer and then we'll be put in the data base to look for a child. I pray that maybe by the end of the year God will help match us up with a child who needs us. It could be a matter of weeks or years, there are never any guarantees.

It seems weird to continue this blog, but at the same time I called it "Candie's Family Journey" and not our "Trying to Conceive Journey" . . . guess somehow I left this blog open to be used for whatever method we used to expand our family.

I'm excited to start our course this week. Being on JM again is great but it does renew the twinges of desire for pregnancy. I'm sure no matter what, that's a longing that never quite goes away. I continually remind myself that I must feel blessed for the gift I have. He is my world and I cherish every day with my DS. If I never again am able to get pregnant, at least I was able to do it once and that's a precious gift I'll never take for granted.
~~~ Candie ~~~

Actively TTCMA #2 Again (10 yrs total TTC'ing #2 in various stages of MA and NTNP)

Me (40) Annovulatory, PCOS, IR and Type 2 Diabetes, DH (47), DS (11)

"Learning to have faith, think positively, believe in myself and trust in God."
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