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February 16th, 2010, 06:56 PM
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Starr Starr is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 835
My name is El, I am happily married to the love of my life, DH is named Sherent. We have been married since 1997- a week after my 18th birthday, so we have literally grown together. Now, we have a beautiful family and I work as a high school teacher and DH is a police officer; however, he is currently student teaching and will graduate this May as a PE teacher- so that we can have the same schedule as our children. We are currently is the start of our journey to baby number 5...


Well, here I sit at CD 6 of what I hope will be a 30 day cycle, and I am realizing that I forgot how very depressed I was last time when I did not conceive right out the gate. What I must continuously remind myself is that a) I am so very blessed to have a wonderful step-daughter and 3 amazingly wonderful sons and b) I have experienced 4 pregnancies, 3 that were a very Happy and Healthy 9 months. With my last TTC attempt, I had just come out of a loss with a double ectopic. It is no secret with my friends and family that I have always wanted twins- and, I had 2 little ones that I lost with that PG. After emergency surgery that was eventually followed by methotrexate to flush my tubes of any remaining PG- I had to wait 3 cycles before TTC again- very difficult time in my life, followed by 7 cycles of BFNs after BFNs- finally, I was blessed with my BFP and it was NOT an ectopic- and 9 months later I received the incredibly gift of my third son.

Which brings me back to today- CD 6 of my 2nd cycle trying to conceive baby number 5 for our family- wishing for a girl, loving the idea of twins, but more than anything hoping for a happy and healthy baby. Last cycle we were "swaying" for a girl- which basically means that everything we did reduced our overall fertility- very silly! I will not be doing that anymore! I can handle a BFN if I know we did everything we could- but, receiving one knowing that we did a lot of foolish things made it even worse, not to mention the almost $100.00 I spent on HPTs...I won't go there again!

This is cycle 2 and we plan to BD every day from the stop of AF to her next due arrival, I will lay in bed with my hips on a pillow afterwards, I will be healthy with my pre-natal vitamins, and continue to eat right (thankfully, neither DH or I smoke / drink alcohol / drink caffeine, so that is not an issue), and I will be charting. I charted with my last son after the ectopic, and now am kicking myself for not charting last month. So, begins my journey of TTC another wonderful addition to our ever-growing family.

I realize I am blessed, and I am so very thankful for every single one of my beautiful babies. I am also so very appreciative for JM- and having a place to share this experience with and more importantly having the support of other mamas / mamas in waiting who are in the same boat as me and understand exactly how I am feeling and what I am going through.

Here is hoping for a BFP this cylce, a short visit with the TTC board, sticky bean vibes, and so much baby dust that all I see is sparkles!


Thank You Helen for my beautiful Siggy!

Last edited by Starr; February 16th, 2010 at 07:44 PM. Reason: Adding more information
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