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March 24th, 2010, 10:15 PM
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beckii beckii is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NS Canada
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Thought I'd share my story.

Well, I met my daughter's father when I was 16, right around my birthday actually. He worked with my sister at the local grocery store, and honestly, she's the one who had the crush on him. He was the "bad guy" type, and we started off as friends. After about a month, we started becoming friends with benefits, then after another month, we were dating.

Six months later, I found out I was pregnant. I'll never forget that day. I went back to his apartment (I was living with him, his mother, her girlfriend, and his grandmother) and told him. He was SHOCKED. The first half of my pregnancy was really, really rough. No one wanted me to keep her. Not her dad, my parents, no one.. Except me. I considered abortion, adoption, all my options and I even went to see a consellour (sp?) about it. In the end, obviously, I made the choice to keep her. I LOVED going to work, because everyone there was genuinely happy for me and a few of them had kids at my age (they were older), so they understood. I got away from all the negative drama and just got to enjoy being pregnant and having my baby.

It hasn't been an easy ride, I'm not gonna lie. A lot of times I've felt like just lying down and giving up.. thinking I can't do this, I can't be a good mom.. There were a lot of times that I just wanted it all to go away. But, then I'd cool down, think about it and realize all I wanted was my daughter.

4 years later, and she IS my life. She's my motivation for everything I do. I don't know where I would be without Mikayla. I wasn't a bad kid, I had a great mother who raised me better than I could ever ask. But at the same time, I was a teenager and I did have a real jerk for a boyfriend. Who knows.. Now, at 21, I'm a single mom (and consider I have been most of her life), full time student and will be for the next 4 years. It's not easy doing it on your own, but it's not impossible. And it's well worth it when you get to see your child smile, or when they give you a kiss and tell you how much they love you.

It's still hard, I struggle every day. I've made mistakes, I haven't done everything right and I know that. I look back at the 4 years and think "I should've enjoyed that day more", "I should've done this with her..". But I know I'm a good mom and I can't change the past, and I can only change the future. I definitely am not perfect, but I do my best.

I love my daughter will my whole heart and I just want to give her everything I had and more. That's why I'm in school, hoping to become a nurse and get a house, car, save money for her education. I just want her to have it all.

beckii ... momma to my beautiful princess Mikayla Lynn 01.18.06
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