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April 13th, 2010, 11:07 AM
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MsSilverSpec MsSilverSpec is offline
Mama of 2 <3
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: California
Posts: 3,901
I came across this forum because I feel like i may have PPD and really need some support.

I gave birth to my first child a little over 2 weeks ago. It was a complicated delivery, where I was in a lot of pain both during and after the birth. The whole pregnancy itself was very stressful as well because it was unplanned and had only come into my husbands and I relationship just 5 months in.

In the hospital emotionally I felt great. They gave me the screening quiz and said I was at no risk for PPD. I came home and within the first week I started to feel bad. I figured it's the baby blues but what's scaring me is I am not feeling better now. I've went outdoors, I even went to a family get together with my husband but I don't feel different.

I am crying a lot, feeling guilty for having this baby so early in our relationship, scared it'll never be the same, extremely scared I will lose my husband, hopeless that it'll never change and that my husband and I will never get to spend time alone together, I can't sleep when the baby does sleep, and last night in bed I just felt like I was going to go crazy and lose it. My newborn isn't the easiest, he fusses a lot during the day which when my husband gets home frustrates him, and he doesn't sleep too great at night. I feel very little moments of elation.

I feel so bad for saying this, but I dont feel the bond with my newborn yet. I just want to be alone with my husband and have our time together again. It's scary to say but it's almost as if I don't want my newborn anymore.

I am even afraid to bring up these feelings to him because I don't want him to think I am crazy. I barely have any family to talk to, or even to watch my newborn which triggers my feelings even more.

I really don't even know who to call! My 6 week PP check is still ways away, but i don't know if I should call my OB ahead of time and let him know whats happening.

I hope I can find the support I need here, thanks for reading
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