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May 5th, 2010, 12:04 AM
St3f St3f is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: IL
Posts: 48
No one understands. We recently celebrated DS's first birthday and people were remembering the day he was born. When DH was talking about it with me I told him that I have bad memories, and he told me not to think that way and that I should just be thankful DS is here now and healthy. Because of that I bite my tongue when anyone else mentions DS's day of birth. I wish I had someone who knew where I was coming from. Maybe then I wouldn't be so worried about going through another birth. I even had a doula at the first birth, but she helped DH more so than me. She did help me avoid a c-section by suggesting I try the vaccum. But then she went through a lot of guilt when DS had shoulder dystocia, so the first few days postpartum I remember trying to make her feel better and telling her that I don't blame her and that no one could have known the outcome. But back to the topic, the only time that I feel like I might be somewhat normal for having these feelings is when I stumble across a place like this.
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