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Ms.Michelle July 23rd, 2007 02:24 PM

This is Michelle's husband as she is sleeping right now. She wanted me to let you know that Samantha Jade was born on Saturday July 21 at 9:20pm. She was 9lbs 1oz and 21 1/4 inches long.

Mom and baby are doing great and mom is trying to sleep as much as she can.

Friday, 20th, at 5am started to get contractions. I actually thought it was gas! :blush: I had a bath to see if it was false but it was still going so I told DH to stay home. I ate, drank and laboured at home because it seemed mild. At 8pm things started to feel worse so I called my doula. (This was the actual start of my active back labour.) I had my doula come to the house around 11pm. We stayed at the house until 1am and then went to the hospital. At the hospital we had, there were two bath tubs.. My doula, who is a retired nurse who used to be in the l & d rooms, got us one of them.. I was so pumped. I thought for sure we would have a gentle, water birth for her.. I knew that would be the best, least painful way for her to enter this world.. I checked in at 5 cm and thought the tub would help. It did, and I progressed to 7cm within 2 hours. The hypnobirthing and water helped me make it that far with all the contractions. Then I stalled out at 7cm.. The staff told me this was lasting too long. I did flights of stairs, nipple stimulation.. nothing would change. I didn't want my membrane stripped because I knew they wouldn't let me back into the tub. It was my coping tool to deal with the contractions and it was be the best way for her to enter the world. At 1pm (Sat, July 21) they stripped my membranes. I cried.. I had to mourn the way she would be here.. I didn't want that for her. They found poop so we all started to worry. They also told me that my contractions weren't steady enough and should be stabilized. They gave me synthoesonal. (sp?) an epidural, and a catheter at 3pm since I couldn't get the contractions to stabilize and they felt she was in trouble.. I was so upset. I didn't want to have these drugs. Not on this little infant. :cry: (Now, I know it was for the best, the right thing to do and ok.. We've dealt with the after effects of that crap, which I'll get to telling.) So, they gave this crap and I don't know why women think epi's are the god's sent because it maybe worked for an hour. We tryed different positions and swatting. Finally they told me if I don't push out this baby, they are going to vacuum or forcept her out. (My family has a long history of this.. I couldn't let them do it. They have enlonged heads, and bruises after.) So when I heard them getting the equipment out at 9, I pushed and pushed.. She came out at 9:20pm. They immediately took her and suctioned her out. They didn't even let DH cut the cord or hold her. They wouldn't let me have her either..

In the end she was healthy.. But I'll tell the story about the jaundice/hospital later.. speaking of floppy babies. :devil:

3 Month update:
I still can't really talk about my birth. Everytime I do, I start to cry. I feel like I wasn't strong enough for my daughter.

I still feel so betrayed by my ob/gyn, the Calgary Health Region, my MLA and the hospital.. I also haven't vaxed my daughter. At my delivery I felt forced at step of the way. When we went in for her jaundice, that was horrible too. For the first time last week, I tried to talk to my family doctor about it and started to cry. She defended everyone else. Why is all of this so hard? Why can't I find, from my doctor and health system, the cons from vaxing? The ingredients? Why can't that be public information? Why does the hospital treat moms so bad when their babies are being readmitted? Why can I get an abortion or schedule a c-section but I can't have a simple unmedicated water birth with the best trained professionals at a hospital where all of this was readily available? Why couldn't they just let me eat supper? Another thing, I feel like so many people trivilize the birth by saying "oh well, at least she is here and healthy.." To me, after being traumitized like that, it's like saying to a veteran, "well, at least you didn't die in the war" with no acknowledgement to what I went through... I feel like no one understands.

I feel like a failure as a mom for so many reasons and all the choices I've been making are looked down upon. I don't think anyone IRL understands and only a handful of women online seem too. I've never felt so vulerable because all of these decisions are for someone else ~ who is the most perfect being I've ever met.

I don't know what rape feels like but I now know what it's like to be forced to spread your legs to people who don't care how you feel. You object about something you don't want done to you but you don't matter as you're just the woman with her legs open, in the most vulerable position you've ever been in being mocked and ridiculed for speaking up. Is it really any wonder why some people can't move on? I truly understand why some women have unassisted homebirths. I don't want to be raped like that again.

I still don't understand. God made a mistake ~ an angel was sent to me instead of a baby. I'm so glad he makes mistakes.
Dh wrote a letter to our members of government and few others.. here's the letter:

My wife and I had our first child this past July and I would like to make a few comments on the healthcare that we received through our obstetrician, the hospital staff, and general procedures.

First in meeting our obstetrician we informed him of our intent to have a natural birth which was met with a “Famous last words” comment. We also asked about having a water birth and he said the hospitals don’t have the facilities, so we suggested that we would rent a water birthing tub and bring it in to which he responded “the floor can’t support the weight of the water”. If a hospital floor can’t support around 300 lbs or less of weight from a birthing tub then I think we have bigger issues. He also was very negative towards a water birth asking us “why would you want one?” and that “it is hard for the doctor to see things in a tub”. With all of the information about the benefits of water births, to be faced with an obstetrician asking “why would you even want one” seems awfully ignorant and uninformed. Now as for his nurse, well lets just say she needs to learn how to actually be nice to people and not get annoyed if they ask questions or are informed about procedures. She was horribly condescending towards my wife who was around 8 months pregnant and didn’t need that sort of stress. She even was threatening about emergency procedures they would do.

Now let’s move onto the hospital. We showed up around 1:00am and asked at emergency where to go and we were told to go to the third floor so “get lost”, “leave me alone”. Then we were treated like an annoyance at the labor and delivery triage. Once we got a birthing room the staff were annoyed that my wife preferred to be in the tub. They forced her to stay in the most uncomfortable positions in order to get a better heart rate reading. They did this repeatedly and didn’t care about the pain or anything other than a good tape reading of the baby’s heart beat, even though most of the nurses couldn’t even place the monitor on properly and our doula had to re-place the monitor almost every time. Throughout her labor she was constantly treated like she was an idiot for not wanting pain medication. After several hours the doctor said they had to strip her membranes and then she couldn’t get in the tub. That makes no sense to me because it isn’t like water is going to flow up into her body! When she finally did take the epidural due to about 13 hours of back labor she wasn’t given enough and the anesthesiologist didn’t program the self medication button like he said he would. He came back “topped her up” then programmed the button, he still didn’t give enough and after a third time it still wore off hours before the actual delivery. Once the pushing phase started on the orders of the doctor they constantly threatened to suction or use forceps to get our baby out. They then wanted to place the monitor in the skull of the baby even though just hours before they said it was too risky for our particular situation.

Once the baby actually was out they had cut the cord and she was on a table getting suctioned out and medication put on her eyes. I never got to cut the cord which was our plan, we wanted delayed cord clamping which didn’t happen, we wanted the baby placed on mom’s chest immediately and that wasn’t allowed either, we also didn’t want suctioning yet they did.

So basically the hospital staff didn’t care about our plan or wishes, they were there to deliver a baby and do a job, not actually respect our wishes.

Off to our return to the hospital for a slightly high bilirubin count. This is probably the worst treatment I have ever seen from medical staff in my life. We hadn’t even got to the room and the nurse was telling us that they were putting our baby on formula, mom was breast feeding wrong, and to get her out of the cloth diaper now! Our baby threw up all of the formula and no one cleaned her until mom noticed and had to clean her. She then developed a rash from laying in her own vomit and being under the lights. In the morning the pediatrician blamed the rash on us not washing her clothes properly and gave us a lecture about proper cleaning methods to avoid such rashes. She also got a diaper rash from the disposable, the only one she has ever had to date. The nurses were completely rude and once we finally refused to allow formula they gave us a breast pump and my wife was expected to prepare it, pump it, dispose of the used bottles, clean the pump, ect. She wasn’t given a meal because as was pointed out “she isn’t the patient, the baby is”. All of this and mom had stitches from some mild tearing, and had just delivered less than 48 hours prior and she clearly couldn’t sleep because she had to do everything to take care of the baby. She was in relative good health thankfully because the staff was of absolutely no help. This treatment of post partum women was absolutely disgusting to receive here in Canada.

Now we are being condescended to because we want more information about vaccinations and the side effects and doctors simply tell us that they need to be done. We can’t find a doctor that will actually discuss this with us.

Canada health care is supposed to be one of the best in the world, we brag about our universal health care at every opportunity yet the treatment we received was that of a health care industry that doesn’t care about the patients wishes, doesn’t want to discuss anything, but rather wants you to just do as they say and shut up. I can’t believe that in 2007 this is the type of health care that the city of Calgary provides. It is disgusting and sad that you put women through this kind of thing. Birth is natural despite what the doctors and staff at the hospitals feel, and to treat low-risk women the way they did is no where near acceptable. I was robbed of cutting the cord and valuable bonding moments were stripped from us because they refused to allow us to even touch the baby until they were done their job, god knows we wouldn’t want to inconvenience the staff at all. When I see birthing rooms in hospitals in the UK and the way birth is treated in other countries it makes me ashamed to even live in this country. Why are midwives not covered in Alberta? They are in every other province and there have been many studies to show the benefits of midwives, yet not here. Why? Because here the health care industry doesn’t care about the patient or the patients needs, it is a get in get out fast food mentality and patients are seen as annoyances rather than people. Or is it perhaps due to some sort of power struggle between the government and the health region, or perhaps doctors are just being territorial. In any case the patient is the one that suffers.

If we do have a second child you can be assured though that we won’t be a burden to your healthcare system because we plan on going into debt if need be in order to hire a midwife and having a home water birth, or even an unassisted home birth because that is a much more attractive option than another hospital birth. Or perhaps I can find a job in another province that actually covers midwives, we all know Alberta just doesn’t have the money.

I blame the Calgary Health Region and the Province of Alberta for the absolutely terrible treatment we received and it is pathetic that the head of the CHRA makes millions per year so that the patients can get treated like absolute garbage. I think the Health Region needs to re-evaluate their priorities and perhaps start thinking of how to make the patients the number one responsibility, not just get them in and out as fast as possible. Perhaps it is time for the health region and the province to look at the archaic mentality towards birth and pay attention to the studies out there showing the benefits of water births, mid wives, things like hypno-birthing, and natural child birth.

I am angry and sad to have to even write this letter as it has made me ashamed of the state of Canadian Health care, ashamed of the Province of Alberta, and ashamed to live in the city of Calgary. And those are words I thought I would never, in my lifetime, say.

~I'll edit it as I can.

Sunshine_Kenya July 23rd, 2007 02:57 PM

Please tell her Summer says Congrats and I am so proud of her! Can't wait to see your princess!!!!

Mom2MacyandDru July 23rd, 2007 03:05 PM

That is wonderful!! Congratulations!

Mommy2n1 July 23rd, 2007 03:08 PM


CBMS July 23rd, 2007 03:53 PM

WOOHOO! Congrats, Michelle! I've been coming in here checking for updates about hourly since I found out you'd gone into labor!! :cheer: :cheer:

I can hardly wait to hear your birth story!!!

Momma*of*Four July 23rd, 2007 04:05 PM

Awwwwwww CONGRATS momma!

quietsong July 23rd, 2007 04:49 PM


meant2bemommie July 23rd, 2007 04:57 PM

YAY!! Congratulations Michelle! I hope that you had a great delivery! Can't wait to here the details. Congratulations!!!

pattyandthemoos July 23rd, 2007 05:03 PM

Holy Cow! That is one big baby girl! I wasn't expecting that. Can't wait to hear from you. And a huge CONGRATS!!!!!

Hydi'sMom July 23rd, 2007 05:03 PM

Congrats!!! Hope everything is going well!

rose198172 July 23rd, 2007 05:16 PM

Congrats, Michelle!! :smile:

Rachel July 23rd, 2007 05:44 PM

Congrats Michelle!!

2bluesandapink July 23rd, 2007 06:06 PM

Yay! And on Camden's birthday too! Congrats!

Linz July 23rd, 2007 07:33 PM


*Cassie* July 23rd, 2007 07:38 PM

Congrats Michelle!! That is one chunker of a little girl!!

LeeG July 23rd, 2007 07:49 PM

YAY!!! :cheer: Welcome to the world Samantha! :D Can't wait to hear details and see pics! Congrats!!! :cheer:

MountainMomma July 23rd, 2007 08:35 PM

Congrats Michelle!

rdhdtrue July 23rd, 2007 09:46 PM

Hugs to you all !!! Can not wait to have Michelle back!!!

Olathe July 23rd, 2007 10:06 PM

congrats Michelle , I cant wait to see pics of Samantha and to hear your birth story!

Get some rest!

CherryBerry July 24th, 2007 03:14 AM

Just popping in to say Congrats Hunni!

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