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jmills1129 November 9th, 2012 09:26 AM

so me and dh were supposed to start ttc in september, which i put off due to a workout program i was doing, now that it is over we were supposed to start ttx. Well now he says he wants to wait even longer, i dont want to wait, we might not be so lucky and just end up pregnant like last time. And i dont want a huge age gap between my children, plus i want to be done by 30, and im about to be 28.... I know i know, i have time still, but i just dont understand his reasoning. We can find every reason why we shouldnt have another child, but if we do then we will never have another. Its not like we cannot afford it, or dont have the room. He has a great job, and i work too. I wish he would get over his wishy washy ways and just say lets do it. Maybe it was good that madison was a surprise, because i am sure she wouldnt have been born if not for the surprise because he has to over analyze everything. I am so frustrated that he would agree to start trying when i was done with the program, and then when i am done change his mind..... Grrr.

Rant over.

sareymac November 9th, 2012 10:59 AM

Re: frustrated

swild19 November 9th, 2012 11:12 AM

Re: frustrated
Sorry. Thats very frustrating!

emsketch November 9th, 2012 02:51 PM

Re: frustrated
That stinks. Has he given you any inkling of why he changed his mind?

Julka November 9th, 2012 03:13 PM

Re: frustrated
Have you tried sitting down and having a heart-to-heart with him? Explain why you would rather not wait, but also try and have him explain his reasons for wanting to wait... Maybe he's scared of going thru the whole "newborness" again?

herdestiny November 9th, 2012 03:50 PM

Re: frustrated
I know exactly how you feel. Michael was a surprise although we always talked about having lots of children, now that Michael is here SO all of a sudden doesnt want any more children. And I want loads more. We get into a fight about it about once a month but more often now that Michael is going to be one and I want to try by the time he is a year and a half. I really have nothing constructive to tell you because I'm in the same boat. And it sucks because sometimes he'll say he can't wait for another and then when we actually talk about it he says that one is enough. Men are good for changing their minds at the last minute and acting like its not a big deal and you need to just handle it without getting mad. :(

jmills1129 November 9th, 2012 04:37 PM

Re: frustrated
Yes, i have talked to him, and told him my reasons, and all he will tell me is because nest november he will be testing out of his training, so if i were due in nov or dec he wouldnt be able to get time off work, so i said, we can try now for 2 months, and if nothing we will wait so i will be due after december. And then he gets mad at me? I thought that was a good compromise, and he says he doesnt want to give me an answer, as to when we will try again. I mean do we really have to plan a child around a work schedule? I am ok with putting it off so i will not be due during that time, because of course i want him there, and its not like if i were due before he would take a big amount of timeoff, with madison he took a week off, and it was before she was born lol...grr. I understand why he doesnt want to try if i were to be due in dec or nov, but if i got pregnant this month i would be due in august, whats so bad about that?

I have serious baby fever, its not like we are preventing, maybe the pull out method will work again lol! Thats how we got madison<3 sorry for the rant, i am happy for what i have, and i love my husband dearly, i just wish he would tell me what he wants, instead of putting it off, like ill forget about it.

sugarloafbaby November 9th, 2012 06:33 PM

Re: frustrated
I'm sorry you don't agree on the timing - that has got to be frustrating. Maybe as Madison gets out of her babyness he will change his mind?

Meg1227 November 9th, 2012 06:59 PM

Re: frustrated
Hopefully he will change his mind soon.

Snookums November 9th, 2012 07:13 PM

Re: frustrated
I'm sorry :( that would be frustrating to expect one thing to happen and then it changes. I kind of know how you feel because I don't know when we would have had a second if Nathan hadn't been a surprise. My husband kept finding reasons why it wasn't a good time yet. Hopefully you guys can agree on timing soon!

jmills1129 November 20th, 2012 09:18 AM

Re: frustrated
Finally got through to him!! I just had to use simpke, "man" thinking, i tokd him that if he didnt want me to be due in the months he was in class he would have to wear a condom, unless i was pregnant, and then it wouldnt matter.....he said "well lets get yoy pregnant then" .. If only i would have known how to get him to that point sooner lol, so we are ttc!

sareymac November 20th, 2012 11:49 AM

Re: frustrated
YAY!! thats great news!

rancherandcitygal November 20th, 2012 01:41 PM

Re: frustrated
YEAH!!!! My man is the same way, gotta put it in "man terms" somehow.

swild19 November 20th, 2012 07:36 PM

Re: frustrated
Yay!! Have fun TTC! Hope it happens quick!

mBABYe November 28th, 2012 08:46 PM

Re: frustrated
LOL!! Glad he changed his mind. :)

jmills1129 November 29th, 2012 10:23 AM

Re: frustrated
Well AF showed up yesterday... So not this month :(

mBABYe November 29th, 2012 12:33 PM

Re: frustrated
BOOOOO. Well... gives plenty of time to plan for next month! :D

Are you temping or anything? FertilityFriend is a great site (& has a mobile app). You can share your chart link too if you want everyone to get excited & follow along with you :) Haha

jmills1129 November 30th, 2012 11:33 AM

Re: frustrated
I bought the basal thermometer, but have yet to start temping, i think its because im up at all hours of the night with madison, so i dont know when i should temp... But maybe ill start lol

sugarloafbaby November 30th, 2012 05:26 PM

Re: frustrated
I'm up a lot at night too, but I just try and temp at the same time every morning (7am), and rarely have I had an issue. I set my alarm so I always do it at the same time - once I started doing that it really helped.

jmills1129 December 6th, 2012 09:35 AM

Re: frustrated
Ok i will try, but im upat 5 on work days, and up at 7 on days off....we will start with that lol and i know its late to start this month, but i will start anyways!

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