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hope71012 July 2nd, 2012 06:07 AM

How many times... (vent)
How many times do I need to remind my mom that her "job" during labor is to take care of DD, not assist me or hang out in birth room unless DD is there.

I really don't think its not difficult! She keeps discounting DD wanting to be involved. She's 6. She's old enough to give us her thoughts and feelings. Not only that, but why. I respect that. DH respects that. My mom keeps saying, "oh you can watch your movie with your uncle while I'm helping mommy and daddy." Grrrr! NO! Its really pissing me off! I only want my hubby supporting me during L&D.

THEN, we are delivering at the birth center. END OF ******* STORY! I'm not delivering at a ****** hospital. She's irked. She doesn't think they monitor you enough post-baby (6-12 hours depending on the time the baby is born). She has an opinion about using the birth pool. She's shocked they asked me to buy a "birth kit" with a pool liner. Oh, its non of it is sterile enough for her. Really?! Oh and they use a cord ring instead of a clamp so its not right! The worst part is that she keeps saying, "hospital" instead of "birth center" when I specifically correct her she ignores it.

She still thinks she's catching the baby. NO! If anyone catches the baby besides the midwife, it will be me or my husband (IE: if we are in the water).

I will NOT be induced, checked, etc unless my midwife suggests doing so for valid medical reason. She's insistant that I just take some castor oil and go into labor NOW. ***? NO! I haven't even taken the evening primrose oil suggested by the midwife yet. I'm not even overdue! I'm not opposed to castor oil, but wont consider it until I'm overdue! I've also said from DAY FREAKING ONE that baby will come when ready. 42 weeks is 8/1 and I will not set foot in a hospital to be hooked up to pitocin and bedridden until that date unless the baby is in danger. Being in danger has to be proven through NST, u/s, etc.

At this point I just feel like my birth plan is falling apart. I need to talk to DH and type it all out so that he knows how to advocate for me also. Because ya know...in labor its hard to do. I just feel like at this point we will have to just kick everyone out including DD. I hate it. Why can't she just be the mom to shut her dang mouth. Stop talking about the ****** doctor appt on 8/3 and wanting to spend time with the baby.

At this point, I'm just thanking GOD that I've changed practices to a very natural birth friendly environment and I know that they will help stick to the plan, etc.

Bookish July 2nd, 2012 08:46 AM

Re: How many times... (vent)
Ugh! that sounds so frustrating! I would have lost it by now. Hugs sweetie.
Good luck!

OatmealKisses July 2nd, 2012 11:13 AM

Re: How many times... (vent)
dropping by from sept ddg,

If she is already posing that much of a problem I'd ask for her not to come and get someone else to watch your daughter.

kemper2.0 July 2nd, 2012 12:01 PM

Re: How many times... (vent)

That would drive me crazy.

txmumx4 July 2nd, 2012 01:06 PM

Re: How many times... (vent)
Definetely keep her out of the room sounds like she is going to ruin a special moment and just add more stress.

hope71012 July 2nd, 2012 04:49 PM

Re: How many times... (vent)
It is honestly a catch 22. She is already here, and will be here until after the baby's birth. I can't change my mind now, KWIM? Plus, aside from the actual "birth plan" issues...she is a HUGE help with DD1 and keeping up with the house in general. The only way I'm able to work and feel functional. So I'm grateful she is here.

On the other hand, I've got numerous friends that have offered to keep DD1 with them. That is great, but I know my daughter and she needs to be nearby (in the same building) as DH and I at the very least. It is frustrating because as much as I love my friends, I don't think any of them would really know how to comfort her the way she needs to be comforted. They are great people, I know she would have a blast with them. That isn't the question. Plus, DD specifically requested that her grandma take care of her while I have the baby. :/ Which is why we asked her grandma to come down. I have 1-2 friends who would gladly stay with DD in the delivery room, but there is no way I would be comfortable with that. So yeah, its a catch 22.

I know it will all be ok in the end. I know that it will be a huge learning experience for my mom. She tends to talk a big talk. I've warned my midwife that my mom was an OB/GYN nurse many years, but she isn't to have a say in medical care. She talks a big talk about a lot of medical things, but in the moment she does respect our decisions. I just hope that she will understand the importance to DD to have her grandma taking care of her and not there to support me. On top of that DH will not be comfortable doing the things he should be doing to support me with my mom watching over. I know I will kick both of them out during a bulk of my labor.

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