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Mommy to 3 boys February 8th, 2013 06:05 AM

Come on ladies....
I noticed for the 3 for Thursday that we all have cleaning and chores that we need to do... I want to know what are you doing for fun... for YOU?

I know this is a foreign idea for moms, especially with babies so little lol but we all need to do at least one thing for ourselves... even if it's just something small like reading a book.

What have you done for YOU recently?

MrsTiffy February 8th, 2013 06:23 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Last weekend I went and got some boudoir photos taken. I got my hair and makeup done, and just got to chill for a bit. I got to buy a bunch of new bras, panties, and stuff for that. I went to bed at 7:30 last night because I am feeling like crap. I hope that tonight dh and I get to celebrate something, but I wont know for sure for a few more hours. We are also going to have a romantic date on Saturday after all the kids are in bed. I am going to go buy some strawberries, chocolate, and wine. We will break out the fondu pot to make chocolate covered strawberries. We might watch a movie if I can find something good. I have also been dying to play a board game, so we are going to make time for that this weekend. I have read 5 books this week, and I always make time to read. Lately I have been pretty good about taking care of myself. Once I am over this cold that I have I am going to start the couch to 5K program, and dh is buying me a double jogging stroller to help make that happen. I hope to be able to sign up for the next 5K that the base here puts on, but we will see if I can get over my anxiety of running in front of other people. Lol.

Starstrydergrrl February 8th, 2013 07:06 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Loads and loads of reading :D I read and write a lot and if I can figure out how to effectively knit and read I will. For the first time in a while I am knitting something just for myself, feels strange lol.

3Sapphires February 8th, 2013 07:18 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
I've started knitting and I really like it, I usually do it at night in front of the tv, or when the kids are napping, I also read an entire book on sunday - love my kindle! lol

I desperately need a hair cut, I'm hoping to get one for my birthday

Blessed Mommy Of 5 February 8th, 2013 07:46 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
I have been sitting here racking my brain for a few minutes thinking about your question, Kim. The answer is absolutely nothing. I haven't done anything for myself for fun in a very long time. My life is so exhausting. I have Kyah 24-7, and when the kids or DH hold her it doesn't last long. Not long enough for me to do anything for myself. When she does nap (which lately seem to be 20 min cat naps), I have tons if things I have to get done. Cleaning up the house, doing laundry for 5 kids and a husband. Preparing meals, drinks, snacks for everyone. Rushing just to quickly use the bathroom. The list goes on and on. I am sure it is a never ending list. It feels like an accomplishment if I manage to so much as wash and condition my hair and then brush it and put mousse in it. It makes me feel like "yay, I did my hair", lol. And that is so basic I don't even think it counts as "doing" my hair. The more I think about this, the more it is really getting to me. I want to blame DH for not helping out more. Yes, he works 3rd shift; so he has to sleep during the day. But he has days off and he has evenings free. He uses his free time to enjoy his self. He even expects me to get everything for him. Drinks, snacks, food, you name it. I had like an hour of free time yesterday while Kyah slept and he insisted that I use it emailing pics to his Aunt who hasnt seen Kyah yet. He has been pretty much harassing me to burn a stupid movie for his coworker. Finally I made time to get that done. There aretimes he will actually sit there playing his 360 just waiting for me to finish feeding and/or getting Kyah to sleep just to go get him something. Lol, I am now completely irritated. I am sitting here typing this in my phone while holding a sleeping baby and he is on the couch snoring away. His work boots are still in the middle of the floor where he kicked them off, his coat and lunchbag thrown over a chair where they don't belong, his uniform in a messy pile across the room....ugh. geesh, he could at least pick up after his self. Even the dishes from the breakfast of ham egg and cheese biscuits (that I fixed him) are still beside him and the glass from the milk still sitting there too. Because apparently it is my job to clean all that up. And it bothers me so much to see the mess thatvi just clean it up and don't even argue about it.

Anyway, I havent done anything for me. And I am pretty sure no one in this house really cares. **sigh**

Sorry for the rant! I'm feeling irritated at the moment toward DH.

Mommy to 3 boys February 8th, 2013 08:16 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Michelle- I know every marriage is different so what I do may not work for you but when I need a break or want to do something for myself, I don't give DH a choice. DH is on days at the moment but every 3 months he goes on nights and so I would make him help me get Kara to sleep (if she was fighting sleep) on his nights off so I could go to sleep at a decent time. DH used to be bad about expecting me to do things and not helping so one day, I didn't. I didn't do ANYTHING... not one thing for anyone but myself. Obviously Kyah still needs you but one day, you could do nothing but take care of her and yourself. Leave the house dirty, don't cook... your kids are old enough to fend for themselves and your DH needs to realize and appreciate what all you do for him. Blake who is almost 7 was being mouthy with me so guess what, I didn't get him breakfast until he said sorry and stopped being a brat. My DH no longer expects things from me and helps me as much as possible. Last night, he was going to hold Kara and wait to eat so I could actually eat but since I needed to feed her and it was something easy to eat while holding her, I told him it wasn't necessary. He still has his moments and there are things that I do for him as long as he appreciates it... he doesn't do laundry and he ALWAYS leaves his socks around the house so I go around and pick up socks and I do the laundry that he does things I ask but if he starts to forget all I do, I stop until he remembers lol. I hope he starts helping you soon.

Mommy to 3 boys February 8th, 2013 08:23 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
I have not been good about doing things for myself for awhile. My mom took me shopping and bought something for my birthday because she knows if she would have given me money, I would have used it on the kids, like I did at Christmas lol. The only thing I can say I do is workout and although I enjoy it, it's not really something just for myself. I hope to get my hair done soon... it's been 4+ months and the brown roots aren't looking so hot lol. I am also going to start creating things. I used to own a home business but couldn't continue when we moved to Japan so I'll be starting back up making girl stuff like hair bows, ballet skirts etc. It's technically something for me because I enjoy creating and now that I have a little girl, I can create things for her too. I haven't even read a book, gotten a pedicure or went anywhere without any kids since I was pregnant.

HazelMom February 8th, 2013 09:44 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Michelle - I really hope things get better for you! That sounds so rough. :(

I always manage to not do stuff for myself by saying, "I'm way too busy." However, that said, I am taking a snow day today and I did have a nice hot bath this morning. So maybe things are looking up! My goals for myself are to get a haircut, start exercising, and buy a few new work clothes at some point. If I do all those things I bet I'll feel a little better.

RunningMommyTo5 February 8th, 2013 09:52 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Michelle, I 100% agree with everything Kim said! You need to take some time for you. You're going to wear yourself so thin. I hope you can find a solution soon!!

I got my hair cut and colored about a month-ish ago, and it desperately needed it. My roots had gotten so bad and it was so thin at the ends from all the shedding. I really wanted to keep my long hair, but it just looked so badly, that I decided to cut it to about shoulder length and it looks much better.

Other than that one instance, I really only have running and working out. I enjoy it and it's sometimes the only time I have without a kiddo following me around or needing me. I also don't really consider it for "me" persay, maybe for my sanity, though, LOL. I do it for my health, to be able to keep up with my kids; it's a part of my lifestyle now. And, running I actually do before everyone else is up. I'm out the door at 5am, or some morning like today, 4:30am. I need it, but it's also sacrificing sleep to get it in. It's so hard to find a balance sometimes!

curlygirl77 February 8th, 2013 10:05 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Ditto what michelle said :( my dh works all the time and when he does have free time it's his to do as he wants. I can't leave micah with him even long enough to get a bath because he just lets her scream and i can't relax. My dd is great with her but it's not fair to keep asking her to help. With five kids i am constantly cleaning and cooking. If i let it go even for a day the house would be a pigsty.

aquariussweety21 February 8th, 2013 10:06 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
I have not been great about this either. Justins parens sent me a giftcard for my birthday to Maurices so I could ordee new clothes because they mnew if they sent a check again it would ot be spent on me. It was so nice of them. So i ordered like 5 new tops last night online. I also plan to get my hair done as soon as we have the money

GeekLover11 February 8th, 2013 10:40 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
Hugs Michelle :(

Well, last weekend, after Declan got to bed, I went out with a few friends for someone's birthday, had a few drinks, but was still up with Declan at 7am.

However, tonight, we are dropping the little guy off for a night over Dh's parent's house for her first overnight with him. This is the first time we will be without him since our one year anniversary in November and only the 2nd time he will be away from us since we had him. We are going to drop him off tonight about an hour before his normal bed time and we are picking him up at 11 tomorrow morning so we can still have all of Saturday with him.

We are super excited!! I think we are going to go out to dinner and have a few drinks. Then tomorrow I will actually be able to sleep passed 8 on a Saturday!!!! :)

jojo2bee February 8th, 2013 03:21 PM

Re: Come on ladies....
Im sorry Michelle! *hugs* and I completely agree with Kim as well! You need time for yourself or your going to run yourself ragged!

I know that much because I've done it to myself plenty. DH also works full time plus goes to school full time so he expects his time off to be for him. It was really bad for awhile and I was doing everything on my own for the longest time and DHs response was always isint that what a SAHM is suposed to do or a house wife. I work ok so im not a full SAHM (even though I would love to be but we can use the extra money) part time work thougj so I am home mostly. The only time I dont have Matthew attached to my hip is when I work and thats not really a break. I try to take time for myself but it usually ends up being to clean and shower. Thats my only real time for me spoil myself is taking a shower. Sad right!

But I have done some shopping the past week so thats great for me. Online mostly. I got my 6th season of army wives (my favorite show) and ordered a diaper sprayer. Then we went to kohls (where I work lol) and I got myself some leggings and clothes for Matthew and shirts for DH and we finally ordered a new bedding set! I got 60 kohls cash total yay which I will try to use on myself but will probably get things for Matthew lol. Then I ordered some more bibs for Matthew and 4 nursing tops for myself from babies r us, the tops were all 50% off so I payed like 10-14 bucks for each (greatdeal in my oopinion) so I had to take advantage of that besides I need more clothes that actually fit me. I would also love to get a pair of work pants that fit me and a haircut and pedicure. But well see. Ive also started doing my craft stuff again. Right now im doing plastic canvas snd making some kitchen things ive been wanting to make for awhile now.

Anyway after writing a book lol im just trying to do things for myself but its hard to. I never want to be gone to much so I dont have to pump and who ever is watching Matthew wont have to warm up some milk for him. So I end up limitingmyself to 2 hours max usually. But I need to make a day for myself and get my haircut and a pedicure and go shopping with my kohls cash next week. A day out not having to worrie about everyone and running errands but just do what I want. I could use it for sure.

Thanks for letting me rant lol

smashley8 February 8th, 2013 04:52 PM

Re: Come on ladies....
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through Michelle! My husband and I went through a rough patch for a little while but after enough crying and conversations about it he realized what his duties are. I think he understands now that sometimes I just need to know I have his support, even if I don't need his help. In the middle of the night, I do a lot of the feedings, and he takes over once in a while. But on nights when he doesn't feed him he will still wake up and ask if I need anything, or if he can get me anything. I find that I stay totally relaxed and at peace with what I'm doing when he offers me that support. If he rolls over, doesn't say anything to me and snores while I feed him, I find myself wanting to poke him in the eye, haha. I think one thing that has helped is that I work 3 days a week, and every week he has Remy for one of the days (his schedule rotates). He takes care of him all day. He also takes care of him when I need to go grocery shopping, or out to some other stores for a while. I LOVE that time to myself. I would suggest that you and your husband come to an agreement that you get some time to yourself out of the house each week. It is totally refreshing and makes me feel much better about the time I spend at home.

Anyway back to the original question, part of my response is above - I go out shopping once in a while, and just bought myself a couple pairs of colored jeans that I love! I love going grocery shopping by myself. My husband and I also go out once in a while and have his parents watch Remy. We went and saw Warm Bodies last week... before Remy was born, we went to movies all the time, so I'm glad we are still doing that once in a while!

RunningMommyTo5 February 8th, 2013 07:01 PM

Re: Come on ladies....

Originally Posted by smashley8 (Post 27072100)
We went and saw Warm Bodies last week... before Remy was born, we went to movies all the time, so I'm glad we are still doing that once in a while!

Total side question, but how did you like Warm Bodies???? I really want to see it but am wondering if it's one of those that's worth spending the $$$ to see it in the theater or wait for the DVD.

smashley8 February 8th, 2013 07:10 PM

Re: Come on ladies....
I loved it!!! I thought it was really good! Definitely a good one to see in the theater!

Blessed Mommy Of 5 February 8th, 2013 07:33 PM

Re: Come on ladies....
Thank you for all of the support and ideas ladies! You all always make me feel better just listening and responding, I really do appreciate it!

jojo2bee February 8th, 2013 10:56 PM

Re: Come on ladies....
Of course Michelle!

Starstrydergrrl February 9th, 2013 06:05 AM

Re: Come on ladies....
*hugs* Michelle

I love my Kindle too! I don't think I could go a day without it lol, Kenny loves that all the books he likes is on there too. :D

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