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-   -   Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :( (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1944-2012-playroom/2649444-guidance-help-suggestions-anything.html)

newmommy206 May 9th, 2013 05:45 PM

Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(
Hey ladies.. so I'm in quite the predicament and don't know what to do.

My bf of 5 years and I have a 6 month old child. I am originally from Hawaii and all my friends/family are back home. Recently I was offered a job in Hawaii and I don't know if I should take it. Everyone tells me I am dumb for turning it down... I need help!

The job is good, especially for Hawaii. I would be making 10K less a year, but would not have to pay rent. Just daycare and my student loan. Here I make good money but majority of it goes to the cost of living (rent, utilities, daycare, etc). I am the primary breadwinner, so I pay for the practically everything. I love my job here, but there isn't much room for growth. In Hawaii, there is.

My relationship with my bf is rough right now. Originally, we planned on moving to Hawaii (I would move first and he would follow later)... then the fighting began. We were just about to break up when I received the job offer. And he received a job offer at the same time, to start in a couple of months. Although we were about to break up, we decided to give it one last shot... and if another fight happens, we call it quits.

Here I have no family support, no friends.... Hawaii I would have the help. My head says take the job, but my heart isn't ready to let go of him..

Now I am completely unsure what to do... start a new life in Hawaii with my son (with my son's dad visiting every 2-3 months) or give our relationship another shot, losing that good job offer??

Zukin May 9th, 2013 06:43 PM

Re: Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(
Honestly, I would give the job offer a shot, I realize that a relationship and having a father in his life 24/7, but giving a shot for better benefits, income and help back at home is better. If he can't understand that, then you have your answer. Didn't he say he was going to move before the fighting began? If he was true to his word, he wouldn't have a issue with you moving to HI, to better your family.

firstxmommy May 10th, 2013 08:29 PM

Re: Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(
^^ I agree... Good advice. Good luck!

MommyofAngels1985 May 10th, 2013 11:25 PM

Re: Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(
I agree with the others. If you decide to not take the job offer and your relationship does take a turn for the worse you will be out a boyfriend, the job offer will more than likely be gone and you will be where you are with your family living and friends in HI. Plus like you said, you will be saving money by not having to pay rent if you take the job offer in Hawaii. Taking the job offer would be best for you and your son and that should be top priority for you :). If your bf wants to be with you this shouldn't change anything.

Belita May 11th, 2013 06:48 AM

I agree with the others. It sounds like the best thing is to take the job in Hawaii.

Pageturner May 12th, 2013 04:58 AM

Re: Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(
I agree. Your BF sounds like not really a sure thing...so do what's best for you and baby.

Zukin July 8th, 2013 12:18 AM

Re: Guidance, help, suggestions, anything! :(
I'm wondering what the update is, and how are you and baby?

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